Most of the time, you don’t realize that you are with the wrong person … until you meet the right one.
It is the most difficult with love: we think we know what it is until we meet someone who gives us a whole new definition. We understand that it changes us, that it makes everything more beautiful and that it is worth the wait.
And we also learn a lot of other very important things. Here are a few that you will be able to live with if you are with the person you need and need:
1. It’s effortless.
Yes, any engagement requires effort. And ‘to love’ is after all a verb. But what we are never told is that when you are with the right person, love (in every sense of the word) seems to require no effort.
When you are with the right person, everything seems natural to us. It is as if having chosen each other had been inevitable, as if you could not imagine making another choice. Yes, it takes work, but there is this little something that sets your relationship apart from all the others.
2. After an argument, you feel even closer to each other, certain that you want to do everything to make it work.
In Tiny Beautiful Things , Sheryl Stayed says that her two husbands were hardly different from each other. They would, she said, get along “wonderfully” if they had to meet.
But what is the difference between the relationship that ended and the one that lasted? After an argument with her current husband, they both felt the urge to change, to get closer and to do everything to make things work.
The question is not whether you will fight or not. All couples argue, probably more often than you think. The question is, do these disputes end in a desire to distance yourself from the other or a desire to improve for the latter?
3. We regain self-confidence, in every possible way.
If it is truly possible to “live happily ever after”, this expression should refer to what it feels like to meet someone who loves us completely and sincerely.
It is not a question of locking oneself in your own passion and being devoured by your own obsession, thus neglecting the other spheres of your life. With the right person, all areas of his life improve. We are succeeding more than ever.
4. Comfort becomes even more attractive than passion.
Of course, if you are with the right person, you will know and need these two things. But what you learn from being with the right person is that passion is not worth much and can be found in many other relationships.
Comfort, or that feeling of being able to live a lifetime of happiness alongside one another, enlightened by extraordinary friendship and compatibility, is extremely rare. And that is priceless. Ultimately, this is what allows a couple to live happily.
5. The wounds of your childhood heal.
With the right person, you will especially experience an intense feeling of security. And this often allows the child who still resides in us to express themselves. In a couple, this often manifests itself through an ill-considered, almost puerile affection. Other times, partners will tend to project their deep trauma onto each other.
But anyway, when we feel deeply secure and loved, we start to work on our most buried problems. We heal and calm the relationship we have with our parents. By being with this person, you feel free enough to explore anything that you have muzzled for a long time. And the effects are only beneficial, we find ourselves changed.
6. We begin to have faith in life.
When we are young, when we do not know when, how or even if things will work for us, it is easy to turn into a ball of nerves, obsessed with the “what if” and the “what is do i do now? “
But the right person often turns out to be a reminder, telling us that we have always been on the right track. That if our previous loves failed, it was for a good reason. That if we calm down a bit, everything would be much better.
7. We finally reconnect with gaiety.
Many people think that by falling in love, we reconnect with our romanticism, and it’s true … For a time. But by being with the right person, you will reconnect with something much deeper than that: your cheerfulness.
With the right person, you will feel young and your heart will open. Most importantly, you will feel that way even when you are physically separated from the person.
And this is one thing that testifies to the incredible difference between someone who suits you and someone who does not suit you. Someone who suits you makes you happy all the time. Someone who does not suit you will only be happy when you are in his company.
8. You feel completely different and yet more in tune with yourself than ever.
We should never change out of love, but love must change us naturally. And that is part of its magic.
With the right person, you feel totally different and yet more in tune with yourself than ever. It feels like a lot has changed and the ones that are left are the ones that really matter.
The love of a lifetime is not simply a person to whom you could make sweet eyes for eternity. This person becomes your most powerful, most stimulating and most intense force. The right person will influence your life until it becomes everything you have always dreamed of … And not just in love.