Dear You,
I’ve spent so many hours reflecting on us, or what we could have been. And now, as I sit here with the weight of my thoughts, I feel the need to finally put pen to paper, to address the one person who never knew what it was like to love me back. I don’t know why I felt compelled to write this, but perhaps it’s because writing gives me the closure I’ve been seeking, or perhaps I’m just ready to let go.
I want to begin by thanking you, even though it may seem strange to say. You taught me things that I would never have learned otherwise. You showed me what it’s like to be in a one-sided relationship, to chase someone who never really saw me the way I saw them. You taught me patience, and, at times, desperation. I waited, sometimes in silence, hoping that one day you’d look at me the way I looked at you. That one day, you’d realize what we could have had.
But instead, I was left with empty promises and unspoken words. I’m not angry anymore. I used to be, of course, angry at the way you led me on, at the times when I thought you cared, only to be disappointed when your actions didn’t align with your words. But anger isn’t the emotion that lingers anymore. It’s more of a deep sadness, mixed with a sense of understanding that we were never meant to be.
You see, the truth is, I’ve come to realize that love cannot be forced. It’s not something you can earn or prove by trying harder. It’s either there, or it’s not. And while I wanted it desperately, and I gave everything I had to try and make it work, I now understand that your heart wasn’t in the same place. I see now that you weren’t ready for what I was offering, or perhaps you just weren’t looking for me at all. Maybe you didn’t even know I was there, waiting in the shadows, hoping for a glimpse of the love I so badly wanted to feel.
But in the silence and the waiting, I found myself. I found my own strength, my worth, and the realization that I don’t need to chase someone who doesn’t feel the same way about me. I don’t need to be someone’s second choice or their fallback plan. I deserve more than that.
There were days, countless days, when I thought maybe it was me—maybe I wasn’t enough. But now, I know better. It wasn’t me. It was never me. It was simply that you weren’t able to give me the love I wanted and needed. And while that used to make me feel small, it no longer does. Now I see it for what it truly is: an opportunity for me to grow, to move on, and to realize that I deserve someone who chooses me every single day, not just when it’s convenient for them.
I used to believe that love was supposed to feel like a fight, a constant effort to keep it alive. But now, I understand that real love, the kind of love I deserve, doesn’t feel like a struggle. It feels like peace. It feels like safety. It feels like both people, on their own terms, coming together and choosing each other, even when things aren’t perfect. But with you, it was always a one-sided battle, and eventually, I got tired of fighting for something that wasn’t meant to be.
There were moments, though, when I thought there might be hope—when I thought you were just holding back, or that maybe you just didn’t know how to love in the way I needed you to. I wanted so badly to believe in those moments, to believe that things could change. I held on to the idea of “us” for so long, but now I know that those were just fleeting moments of fantasy, not reality. You never loved me, and that’s a hard truth to swallow, but it’s one I’ve had to accept.
And that’s okay. Because here’s the thing: I’ve learned to love myself in ways I never could have if I had continued waiting for you. I’ve learned to recognize my own worth, to stop defining myself by your love or your lack of it. I’ve learned that my happiness is not dependent on someone else’s feelings. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about me.
I don’t know where you are now, or if you’ve even thought about me since we parted ways. I don’t need to know. What matters is that I’ve let go. I’ve let go of the fantasy I built in my mind, and I’ve made space for something better. I know now that love isn’t about waiting for someone to come around. It’s about finding someone who sees you, who appreciates you, and who makes you feel like you matter.
So, this is my letter to you: a letter of release, a letter of closure. I’m done chasing what was never mine to have. I’m done waiting for a love that was never going to come. I am choosing myself now. And though I’ll always look back at what could have been, I know that there’s something greater ahead for me—a love that’s real, that’s mutual, and that’s worthy of my heart.
Thank you for the lessons, for the growth, and for helping me realize what I truly deserve. I am finally free.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Learned to Love Herself
