A bit like with food or hybrid bikes, the world of tech has managed to make love (or rather sex) accessible at your fingertips . Tinder, Bumble and other Happn offer to exchange with potential more or less temporary partners via interposed screens, before seeing each other – or not – in real life. We draw from it good or bad, testimonials of love at first sight that last five years or horror stories based on crazy dates . Same for social networks: flirting on Instagram has its limits, especially that of making as many films as possible about a person who, in fact, does not correspond at all to the cover of his book.
So certainly, when we meet someone live too, we can get confused. Except that we may spend less time sending each other messages, the development of which often requires four drafts and three friends, only to discover that we have nothing in common – or nothing worth the effort. blow to get carried away . And then there is the “catalog” aspect that the dating apps imply. Right in the middle of our second low-end glass of Merlot one evening a week, we wonder if we wouldn’t have done better to swipe a little longer. Or worse, if the other is not in the middle of a date marathon. This would explain his choice of yucky but cheap wine: you have to save money for the next date. (Digital) life is hard.
Since this option does not seem to work for us – this is in any case what our repetitive relational failures translate – we tell ourselves that we could go back to the good old method of yesteryear: meeting someone beyond digital. A plan that both inspires and scares us. Because as much to admit it, we no longer really know how to flirt other than in pajamas in our bed, eyes riveted on our phone. Above all, we have no idea where to go to find the rare pearl.
Here are a few tips for not ending up alone if that’s what we want , or with irreversible myopia.
1- Bet on friends
The study of Compare The Market is clear: 18% of couples fall on soulmate through common friend · es · es. Normal, we say that if the one who has been holding our leg for an hour has been validated by our friends, it is that he or she is neither a psychopath looking for his next victim, nor a totally deadly boredom. We feel a little more confident than with a perfect unknown, so we manage to reveal our true personality. And necessarily, to catch his eye longer than an aperitif.
No need to ask those around us to organize a blind date for us: we prefer the impromptu meeting in the evening, between white and sausage – or blini at tzatziki, for veggies . A more natural moment that makes us both comfortable. And which can also take place at work or at a meeting of former students, by the way, if we have done our studies in an establishment which offers this kind of small sauteries. “It’s when you least expect it that it hits you,” said the most hated person in the universe one day.
2- Go out more often
Going home is at the top of the top three of our favorite activities. We are rarely as happy as when a dinner is canceled at the last moment. Only we can not complain about spending all our solo evenings and at the same time do everything not to get up from our sofa. The perfect man or woman is unlikely to ring our doorbell (unless we end up with the Deliveroo delivery man), so it’s high time to get moving.
For example, you can take on a rather achievable challenge: try something new once a month. A sports class, a bar, a restaurant, an ax throwing workshop; in short, everything that guarantees the presence of at least two people. The British report says that 27% of couples have met at social events, at the pub or in the evening. So we turn off the damn Netflix and we face the outside.
3- Have an open mind
When you come out of an almost deserted period in terms of meetings in real life, even meetings simply, you can quickly turn around. Insinuations annoy us, asking for numbers petrifies us, signs of interest make us blush – and the other is the first spectator. It even happens that we flee seductive looks like the plague, convinced that this is yet another heavy plan synonymous with night without tomorrow. Four words: give it a chance.
If we don’t guarantee a story that will last twenty years, multiplying the opportunities also has the advantage of multiplying the successes tenfold. The more experience we have, the more we will be able to unearth the beginning of beautiful relationships from the heap of scams that surrounds them. And who knows, you are never immune to the jackpot from the first hit.