Did you think this time was the right one? You have nevertheless invested in your relationship. Why didn’t it work? Definitely, you have the impression that history repeats itself over and over again. To no longer be a passade for a man, you must take matters into your own hands and change your habits. I reveal here my advice to make a relationship last, beyond a passing love.
Why don’t your romantic relationships last?
Each time, it’s always the same story! You meet a man who shares the same feelings as you. As soon as you see it, your heart is racing and nothing is around. Every moment spent with him overwhelms you with happiness: one-on-one dinners, movie evenings, walks in the park, etc. There is like alchemy between the two of you, a passion that cannot be explained. This is called fusional love. Of course, with him, it will last.
But that was before! Before everything explodes in the couple and each resumes its way as a few months ago. Why? You were so good together! What changed? The reasons for separation are often complex and multiple, and each situation is different. But since I have been a love coach, I can tell you that I very often see the same patterns recurring.
Everything is wonderful at first, then time passes, and feelings gradually fade. If no one reacts or worse, he or you do something wrong, it is a guaranteed break.
In reality, there is an important milestone to cross. If “love lasts 3 years” is only a theory, it is nevertheless based on a certain truth: the passion of the beginning is transformed to make room for new feelings.
In an emerging relationship, your body releases oxytocin, the famous love hormone. You are then in total admiration for the other and you ignore all its faults. But from a certain time (not necessarily 3 years, I assure you!), The level of this hormone returns to normal and this is where it all plays out. In other words, it passes or it breaks.
To no longer be a passade for a man, it is of course necessary to maintain the flame in the couple, but also to have self-confidence in love. This goes through the 3 points explained below.
Clear things up with your partner from the start
To start a relationship well, it is essential to make your partner understand what you want and don’t want. Yes, it may surprise and even seem radical at first glance, but it is the only way to succeed in love.
How many women do not dare to start this kind of discussion at the beginning? Fear of making your man run away, fear of being single again! One of the common mistakes is to say to yourself: “we will have plenty of time to talk about this later”. And the “later” becomes “too late”, because you will have already built something with it. And if he is not on the same wavelength as you, you will have lost a lot of time and energy for nothing.
Do not wait to tell him about your desire for a child, your need for independence or your desire to travel around the world. Have constructive discussions with him to get to know him better and to know if your relationship can last or not. I trust you, you know how to do it.
Obviously, it is much easier to make sacrifices to please the other at first. After a while, it may pose a problem.
Not to be too nice is to respect your couple and yourself
You’re with the ideal man, it seems, so you want to do it right so as not to offend him. Suddenly, you have an annoying tendency to say yes to everything, even if sometimes, it is not justified. Whether in everyday life or with your sweetheart, kindness has its limits. Besides, I’m sure you wouldn’t want anyone to say about you: “Julie? Ah yes, she is nice ”.
What also frequently happens is that the behavior of women changes when they are in a relationship. Faced with the loved one, they lose their means and this excess of kindness is not like them. Is this your case?
One of the well-established limiting beliefs is to say that the more you give, the more you receive. Forgive me, but IT’S WRONG! In theory, yes, but life is sometimes made up of injustices. A word of advice: Be a little selfish! Think of yourself, of your happiness. Why keep giving if you have nothing in return? Men are not interested in girls who are too nice, or if only to take advantage of them.
The truth is, you haven’t set standards, that is, you don’t really know what you want from a man.
- What is unacceptable for you?
- What behaviors can you not tolerate?
Stop organizing your days according to him, send him unanswered messages, forgive him for his misconduct, etc. Do you no longer want to be a passage for a man? So know how to assert yourself! They adore women of character (if it is well dosed)!
Stay authentic to no longer be a passade for a man
If your goal is to stay with your partner for a long time, it’s best to stay authentic. Give yourself a gender to seduce a man, there is nothing worse! What will happen in a while? Is :
- you are going to have to continue this little game and you will be unhappy, not good about yourself;
- he will discover your true face and will not find the girl who pleased him at the start.
Do not be afraid to take off the masks so that we can see you naturally. You have your own personality and that’s what he likes about you. You all know the famous pub on small imperfections that capsize the heart of the other. If he accepts you as you are, then you have every chance that it will not end in romantic failure.