Have you ever had a friend who suddenly disappears from your group, changes appearance, or abandons their unique goals and personality traits at the beginning of a relationship? Most likely, he was caught in the trap of a relationship with someone who controls him.
Going out with someone who is trying to control you at all costs may start with seemingly insignificant details, which make you feel a slight irritation, but these details can cause emotional abuse, all to feed the partner’s need for domination. So to help you avoid these kinds of people, here are 7 signs to pay attention to.
1. He is quick in his statements
A man who wants to control you quickly declares his passion, which may be very flattering at first, but it is a common sign of the need for control. Indeed, he shows you that he fell in love with you immediately, with gestures and flattering words. In a short time, you feel the center of his universe, and that’s what’s worrying. Men who want to control you know what to say to attract you, and before you know it, you are caught in their nets.
2. Your time is his time
Men who want to control you try to make you feel as if everything you do, and do not include them, disrupt the life of a couple. Unfortunately, these “disturbances” are often your family, your friends, your hobbies or anything else that fits your life as an individual. When a man who controls you feels threatened, he may try to make you feel guilty about your choices because you have done something that does not include it.
3. He does not have his own social life
Having a fantastic social life is rarely something that a person who wants to control can succeed. If your partner never mentions peers, group activities, or anything done with other people, this is one of the main signs of a toxic boyfriend. This is because the problems of such people arise from the feeling of being threatened by the fact that the partner is “out of control”. Having a good group of friends with spontaneous social activities means being comfortable and trusting people.
4. He always keeps an eye on you
This type of men may seem to take care of you at first. The attention is nice, but it does not take long before this behavior crosses a threshold and becomes unhealthy. Soon, his thoughtful texts become insistent calls. You start anticipating them and having to explain everything you do. Little by little, your self-confidence and your feelings of freedom and choice in your own life diminish.
5. He is insistent
It is sometimes normal for your boyfriend to suggest eating one dish rather than another at the restaurant. However, if you say no to his suggestion and he becomes insistent to the point of being forced to give in, this is not normal especially if he has this attitude to know what is best for you. In this case, you are dealing with a man who wants to control you. Although you wore a short skirt when you met him for the first time, facing the threat of other men, he now feels entitled to influence the way you dress and tell you what you need to wear every time.
6. He behaves like a director
A man who wants to control you directs you rather than seeking to communicate with you. Being with a determined man who knows what he wants, is not the same as a man who wants to control and who will go further by constantly suggesting where to go, what to eat, what to wear and what people to see, regardless of your opinion. If you have to constantly explain, defend, or develop your ideas and decisions to get him to understand your way of thinking, you are in a toxic relationship that is based on control of the other.
7. Other men are forbidden
If you regularly meet male friends, a man who controls will show his insecurity by questioning you, watching you when you’re not with him, and maybe even checking your phone. Having friends of the opposite gender is healthy and necessary for a balanced social life. A man who controls you does not see it the same way, even if he has his own friends, because he can not face what he sees as competition with other men.