We tend to rate our relationships based on how the other person treats us, how they like us, and we measure the quality of our relationship in relation to that.
We take into account his love, his testimony of love, and we demand it from him, we ask him more, and when a problem arises, we find ways to make him responsible.
What we don’t talk about is how we like it.
Are we the partner he deserves?
Are we part of the problem?
Do we love as we want to be loved?
Why should we deserve more than what we give?
Do we love as we want to be loved?
Why should we deserve more than what we give?
Too often, our appreciation of another person is based on what they give us. We always take more, then we demand more. But, our relationship changes when we become the partner we want it to be. We rise to the point we want it to reach. We realize that the love that is missing is, in part, the love that we do not give.
The next time your partner has had a bad day and takes it out on you, ask yourself, “What’s the most loving way to welcome this?” When we focus on what we can give, we lose the urgency to receive, the daily pressure to make sure that the other person gives us what we need.
When we decide to give our partner what it needs and we know our needs will be met in return, as equals, then we find ourselves expecting less from him and feeling more at peace in our love for him.
When love becomes something you can profit from, you’ve already lost. We have started the descent to heartache. However, when we love each other as we want to be loved, then we can experience new miracles in our relationship. We can open up to a deeper bond and a love based on the sharing of life, rather than a barter system from which we always want to win.
The next time you look at your relationship under the microscope and dissect your love behavior, ask yourself:
“Was I the most loving person?”
Have I given all my love?
Have I given him the patience I expected from him?
Did I give him the romance I expected from him? Did I show him the respect I deserved from him?
Have I given him the affection I think he should give me?
How responsible are you in your relationship?
Before you start poking him, blaming him, putting the common problem on his shoulders, ask yourself when you lack love and understanding for him. Give what you don’t get. Wake up every morning and ask yourself, “How can I fully love him today?”
If you are in a healthy relationship based on mutual love and respect, you will see how your love will strengthen and transform when you begin to love fully the way you want to be loved.
