A Man’s Instinct to Run
Has your man ever told you he’s going fishing with his friends or is going to be off for a few days camping?
Well, maybe he likes the outdoors – but more than likely, he also likes to take a break from you.
Don’t worry too much about it; It’s really normal for a man to get sick of a woman from time to time and want to be alone, even though he loves her very much.
Perhaps you understand this behavior and feel him act like this from time to time.
Maybe you find it disconcerting and you can’t understand why he would want to be away from you for even a minute.
In any case, travel will usually be temporary…
unless you are doing something to ward it off.
In fact, most of the time a guy who walked away will show up at your door again, but if you’re repeatedly showing him your negative side, he might think twice about coming back.
Here are some of the things women unconsciously do that turn men away.
Are you guilty of any of these things?
#1: Not Giving Him Space
First, men need space.
If you don’t, then they’ll make room anyway.
The more you try to attract him with any needy talk, the more he will run away to be alone.
You can’t blame a man for that; you’re probably the same way in a way, and all human beings need space.
The best way to push him further away, though, is to be more suffocating.
Call him every day.
Ask him where he is at every moment.
Get mad if he doesn’t text you.
Show up at his work unannounced.
Insist that you all have the same hobbies.
Act envious whenever he talks to another woman.
Fight when he doesn’t ask you out with his friends.
Try to corner him in a corner and watch how fast he runs.
Normally, men need space.
If he says no, be suspicious.
#2: Being a Doormat
This may seem counterintuitive, but giving a man everything he wants can actually drive him further away.
You’ll want to help satisfy some of his needs, but many women feel the need to bend over backward and cater to a man’s every whim, afraid of losing interest if she doesn’t agree with him.
This is a big mistake.
Of course, he may be delighted, at first, that you are so nice and quick to provide for his every wish, but sooner or later, he will notice your lack of self-esteem and get tired of you.
People who are chronically agreeable are afraid to express their own needs and sooner or later this will become a big problem in the relationship.
Unless he’s a megalomaniac, he wants to date a unique person with their own desires and thoughts, not someone who will simply say “yes” to everything.
Make no mistake, this is a wall of “yes” you’ve built to hide your true self because you’re afraid he won’t like you for who you really are.
#3: Annoying him
This is obvious, but irritation gets sick very quickly.
However, the problem is that everyone’s definition of bother is different and everyone sees different things as trivial or essential.
A quick trick to know if you’re going too far about petty things is to monitor how often you complain to your man about something.
If there’s a lot to complain about, chances are you’ll downsize, even if you’re totally convinced it’s justified.
Do you feel the need to correct his “stupid mistakes” every day?
Are you a perfectionist and can’t understand why everyone else – including him – can’t live up to your exacting standards?
Does everything have to be “perfect” for you at home or will it bother you?
Do you have a hard time understanding how your boyfriend or husband can just ignore a dirty sock on the floor or in a dirty bowl in the sink?
Does it seem like your man is always doing something (or not doing something) just to annoy you?
If any of these things apply, you’ve probably bothered him too much.
Seriously, all those little things that seem so important at the moment probably aren’t.
If you have to pester him to get him to behave the way you want him to, then maybe the two of you are incompatible (or maybe you have control issues).
#4: Being Judgmental
You can say you’re not a judgmental person, but everyone is judgmental to some degree.
It’s a pretty normal part of being a human being raised and conditioned in a pretty critical society.
However, that doesn’t mean you have to constantly judge your man for things he does or has done in the past.
If he makes mistakes in the relationship, it’s perfectly fine to point out the mistakes, but raising him and judging him harshly for them over and over again will push him away if he has any self-esteem left.
If your man has done something unforgivable in your eyes – like cheating on you – then don’t waste your time judging him too.
Kick him to the curb and get it over with.
Life is too short.
#5: Asking Lots of Favors
Some guys love to be helpful, and most at least like to help once in a while to make you happy, but most of the time men don’t want to be servants of royalty.
Some women never get that message, and they order their men as if they were commanding a ship.
Just because a guy might be physically stronger or know how to fix this or that doesn’t mean he wants to do these things for you.
Everyone’s time is limited and precious, so don’t make these assumptions.
If your guy likes to be left alone and grumbles whenever you ask to be rescued from your clogged bathroom or your leaky faucet, consider hiring a plumber.
If you make a lot of unfair demands on a man, expect him to disappear for a while, especially if you ask for favors every time you call.
#6: Not Getting Along With His Friends and Family
Most people have a “tribe” they belong to and you need to respect your man’s tribe, even if it is very different from your own.
If your boyfriend or husband sees you consistently disrespecting his friends or family, he will likely start to reconsider his choice to have you as his girlfriend or wife.
Even if you don’t like his friends, at least be civil.
Look inside yourself and try your best to determine if they really are a bunch of idiots as your mind is telling you, or if you’re just jealous of their time.
#7: Insulting the Things He Loves
Because of social conditioning and other factors, men don’t usually go around talking about the things they love.
They communicate this in a more subtle way, usually, so you may have to listen carefully to understand what’s really important to them.
For example, his broken-down vintage car might be an old tin can to you and you’re embarrassed to be seen in it, but to him, it might be an old friend he’s become attached to since college.
In a case like this, if you insult his car, you could be insulting an extension of his identity.
You might be insulting the years of memories and good times he spent in that old rusty wagon.
This goes for non-material things as well.
Don’t assume that just because he’s had a hard time getting along with his sister that you have the right to say she’s an unlovable idiot.
Just because his favorite movie received terrible reviews doesn’t mean the plot doesn’t have deep meaning for him.
#8: Getting in the Way of His Life Goals
Obviously, this one is more serious than probably any of the others listed so far, but if you keep getting in the way of a big passion in your man’s life, expect him to run far away.
In fact, he should have run away by now.
No relationship is worth giving up on the things that mean the most to you in life – and that goes for you and your own life too.
Don’t get in his way.
#9: Insisting Him to “Talk About It”
Communication is extremely important in a relationship.
We cannot emphasize this enough.
Like compassion, self-esteem, and self-awareness, communication skills are essential for a good relationship.
That said, let him come to you when he’s ready.
Forcing him to talk about things he prefers to keep to himself will usually work against you and make him shut up more.
Push too hard, and you’ll push him away.
Instead, work on being nonjudgmental and opening up, and he’ll likely feel comfortable enough to share things after a little while.
If, however, he never gets to that point and insists on never talking about his relationship problems, then actually this is a big problem.
It is probably best to find someone who communicates, otherwise, you will never be able to resolve the conflicts that will eventually arise in the relationship.
#10: Giving Him Ultimatums
If you’re in need of ultimatums, the relationship is probably over.
Ultimatums are when you give someone a chance to change for you with a limited time to do so.
The thing is, no one should change for you, even if it’s better to change.
Ultimatums can work in the short term and cause the person to change their behavior, but without any intrinsic motivation, nothing but external factors will change.
Even worse, if you force your man to change for you too often, resentment will likely start to grow.
This will drive you away over time.
So What Can You Do?
If you have bad relationship “habits”, then it seems like it will only be a matter of time before you push your man away.
It doesn’t have to be that way, though.
Focus on being kind, showing him compassion and space, and not expecting him to be responsible for your happiness.
Being aware of these things alone will help you avoid the above behaviors that turn men away.