Loneliness is one of our great fears. We are afraid of being alone, afraid of having to spend the rest of our life without a partner.
It is often this fear that keeps us in relationships that are not good for us. Instinctively, we know we should get out of it, but the fear of being alone and not finding someone else makes us cling to our current relationship.
To our detriment. However, there comes a time when we need to face it. For this, it is necessary to be aware of our current situation and to forget our pride.
Here are the essential points to consider when wondering if our partner is the right one…
1. It reminds you more of bad memories than good ones
Why stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy? Why insist on maintaining a relationship for months or even years when it is mainly punctuated by crises and anxieties?
Think about your relationship honestly and ask yourself what were the unforgettable moments, which revealed to you, which were bathed in grace and which ones were awful and which made you lose confidence in yourself.
Make a T on a sheet of paper. On the one hand, describe the good times and the dates that go with it. On the other side of the T, describe the bad times with the dates to which they are related.
This will help you determine whether your relationship is good or bad, overall.
2. He demeans you
If your partner does not appreciate the way you are being yourself or doing things and is constantly critical of you, tell him that you find his behavior unacceptable.
If it persists, stop your relationship right away. No one deserves to spend their life constantly being put down. And if it happens in public, in front of your friends, it’s even worse.
Not only is it embarrassing for you and for your friends, but also and above all, it shows that your partner has little or no respect for you. It is difficult to believe that the other loves us when he does not respect us.
3. He does not communicate
He is pissed off by you or something else, he decides to punish you by refusing to engage in verbal (and not verbal) communication with you.
There is nothing worse than the frenzied silence of the partner. It confuses you and leaves you completely helpless. You can’t fix something if the other doesn’t talk to you and tell you what’s wrong.
This type of behavior is unhealthy and does nothing.
4. Abuses family and/or friends
You, you can afford to make sly comments about your family, but when your companion starts to make unpleasant comments about your family or friends, he shows disrespect (to your friends but also to you).
If he goes as far as insulting or even hitting them, this is unforgivable …
5. He’s addicted to illicit products
If it turns out to be a little too focused on alcohol and other potentially dangerous substances like drugs, you don’t need that person in your life.
Addicted people suffer deeply and drown their sorrow/suffering in addictions. They must be treated before starting a romantic relationship.
They will not be able to bring you anything good in a state of drug addiction. They can lose control over themselves and hurt you.
Love will not be enough to change them. They are the only ones who can change if they decide and accept to be helped by professionals.
Alas, many do not really want to change because they are on the run from something.
6. You don’t get compliments
If he’s used to never complimenting you or trying to please you, there is a risk that you will be taken for granted.
Everyone needs recognition. It is vital to feel good and have confidence in yourself. If your partner neglects you as a person, does not recognize your uniqueness, what you are, he does not love you.
Love is above all based on the recognition of the other, in his own identity, his singularity.