I do not love you anymore
Five words we wish we never heard or had to say. Five words that sign the end of a dream and cause an interior earthquake of significant magnitude. Cupid’s arrow that once touched us in such a sublime way now tears our hearts apart. How then to put an end to the grieving that hangs on? How to cope with the absence and succeed in rebuilding? The ordeal can take a long time to go through before hoping to regain the joy of living, but a few strategies can help to make a new start.
MAKING A NEW START: THE PHASES OF THE EVENT TO BE TAKEN
SHOCK
During the days following the breakup, you are like in a daze, stunned, petrified. You no longer feel like your emotional system is put on hold.
DENIAL
The pain is so intense that you refuse to accept the end of your relationship. It seems inconceivable to you that the feelings you have for your partner are no longer mutual. You hope that with time and distance, it will come back to you. This phase ends when you become able to admit that he no longer loves you.
THE DEPRESSION
The more you realize that no turning back is possible, the more latent emotions invade you now. Feelings of betrayal, helplessness, anger, injustice, revolt rise in you, mixed with the despair of never being able to turn the page again. Some people have not learned to live on their own, so they may find themselves destitute or even in a state of crisis.
AWARENESS
This phase is often the longest and the most painful because in addition to realizing that you have lost your romantic partner, you realize that it is a whole way of life organized for two that is shattered. But as long and painful as it is, the recognition of this loss is essential in order to regain your balance which leads to reconstruction and happiness in life.
RECONSTRUCTION
After having exhausted your capital of sobs, a day comes when you judge that your sentence has lasted long enough and set out to heal your wounds. Your existence no longer revolves around your separation and you are ready to move on. Life goes on and that’s fine.
STRATEGIES FOR BOUNCING BACK FROM A BREAKUP
DON’T HOLD BACK YOUR TEARS
Don’t hold back your tears, don’t hide them either. You realize your loss and it is healthy to let the steam out. However, be sure to voice your grief to people you trust.
MANAGE YOUR PAIN RESPONSIBLY
You might be tempted to numb your pain from living in alcohol, drugs, or a new romantic affair. Avoid these remedies which only delay your recovery. Live your grief to the full by having clear ideas.
TAKE YOUR TIME
Don’t rush anything. Let go, at least for a while, of those around you who want you to get on with your normal life faster than you can.
MAKE LONELINESS YOUR FRIEND
After a breakup, the thought of being alone can inspire you to surround yourself as much as possible. However, it is pleasant to do solo activities. These times of loneliness sometimes help us uncover hidden aspects of our personality that don’t come to light during a relationship.
PUT YOUR FEELINGS DOWN ON PAPER
Write down whatever comes to mind, express your feelings, your grief, or your aggressiveness towards this experience of breaking up. Take stock of your relationship and identify your romantic style in order to make more informed choices about romantic relationships. You will then have a precise status report before you, will be able to see your progress and be able to make the necessary adjustments.
CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL
If you notice a deterioration in your general condition, do not hesitate to consult a mental health specialist who will provide you with support and offer you effective tools to break the deadlock.
Faced with a romantic breakup, each individual reacts in their own way. Whether the road to recovery is long or short, full of pitfalls, or without major obstacles, it has its ups and downs. With a little patience, the number of days where life is good will eventually exceed the number of days without joy. Thus, what you perceive today as a failure will gradually transform into a rewarding experience.
So ready to bounce back and make a fresh start?
