A girl used to be alone will be completely different from all those you have loved so far. It is guaranteed. It will be one of the nuts whose shell will be the most difficult to crack and its walls will be the highest.
Because for so long, that’s all there was: its walls.
They are part of this world that she built alone and although the goal is to protect herself, it is also a facet of her identity. They are the barriers of this place that she created, of this life that she built for herself: a world that belongs to no one but herself. And although they protect her, reassure her, keep her safe, they are also the only thing she knows.
So finding space for someone else will be difficult, it will be a challenge.
A girl used to being alone will probably say (at one time or another) that she “doesn’t need you”. It will give you so many variations of “I can do it myself”, “Don’t worry” or “I’ll take care of it” that it will make you feel like a broken record.
And up to a point, it’s the truth. She can probably do it herself, you don’t have to worry and she will take care of it.
But just because she can do it, that she doesn’t really need you, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with you.
The mere fact that it manages does not mean that it does not want you to take care of it.
The mere fact that she can cross alone does not mean that she will not appreciate your company.
See, the truth when you’ve been alone for a while, is that this solitude becomes comfort, a space of peace. Being accountable only to yourself, thinking only about yourself, caring only about yourself offers us unrivaled reliability. And although you may feel isolated, it is gentle isolation. It is a loneliness that ends up becoming familiar and almost beautiful.
So when someone enters our life and turns this world and this loneliness upside down, it’s confusing.
Not only does it upset her world and her routine, but it also upsets what she knows.
There will be adjustments to make at the start. There will be ups and downs, things to give and take. For her part, she will be afraid. Because she will try to let you enter her world, to let you climb her high walls, to invite you into a life that previously belonged only to her.
But she will also fear that by letting you in, by trusting you, she will stop being comfortable alone and start to be comfortable only with you.
And the fear of being comfortable with someone else hides another:
“What would I do if he went away?” “
When you love a girl used to being alone, you love a girl who is afraid of having to relearn to be alone one day. You tell her to let you in and she tells you not to go.
Once you get used to it, being alone is easy, but getting into the habit is often a tough fight, an uphill journey, and she really worries about having to do it again.
So if you fall in love with a girl used to being alone, prepare to stay. Be ready to hold her hand when she tells you she can do it and when you say, ” I can help you .” Be ready to discover his life, his world and find a way to respect them while becoming a part of them.
Be ready to climb the walls she has built around her and her heart. Be prepared to stop worrying about what’s going on beyond these walls.
Because by doing this, when you really get there, she’ll never be ready to let you go.