Do you fall in love easy and fast?
I can strongly feel infatuation with someone very quickly and falling in love very easily is something I’m very familiar with.
I once went exclusive with a boyfriend for a weekend, and a month later we went on a romantic vacation in Europe.
And were we really happy and in love?
Not so much.
We finished a month later.
Falling headlong at record speed is usually the modus operandi of a) someone who has been out of the dating game for a while b) deeply sensitive or c) obsessed with romantic phrases on Pinterest… Or all of the above.
While there’s nothing wrong with falling in love and leaving yourself vulnerable with someone new, falling in love with someone too quickly can end in a whirlwind of crushed feelings and frustrated dreams.
Because love is such a powerful emotion, it’s important to protect your heart and make sure you’re falling in love with someone who not only falls in love with you, but will also engage you in a loving, healthy relationship.
That’s why it’s important to take things slow and set boundaries when you start dating someone.
A healthy relationship involves two secure, independent people who are not in a hurry to make something happen because they are patient enough to allow something to happen.
If you are someone who is always falling in love too easily, here are some ways to prevent that from happening again:
1 . Be Honest to Yourself.
Sure, it’s super exciting to fall in love with someone new.
It has the romantic dates and physical intimacy and sometimes literally fireworks (if you’re lucky).
But all those fancy nights don’t make true love.
Take a moment to decipher your feelings – are you really in love with this person or are you just excited about everything you do together?
Connecting with yourself, especially during the first few months of dating someone new, is crucial to not losing your mind.
By the way, it’s perfectly acceptable to admit to yourself that you’re not in love with the new person you’re dating.
That doesn’t mean you won’t fall in love!
It just means you’re not there yet.
2 . Create Limits.
Boundaries are important to every relationship, which is why establishing them as soon as possible is beneficial for the longevity of your relationship.
Also, it helps to keep your heart in check.
Constantly spending time with your partner will make someone feel like it’s because you’re practically living in a bubble together.
Taking time out is not only healthy, it will also help you gain perspective on the direction of the relationship.
At the beginning of a relationship, seeing each other once or twice a week is normal and healthy.
3 . Check With Your Friends and Family.
Your loved ones know you best.
Let them know that you’re trying to take things slow with dating, and ask them to keep an eye on how you’re doing with your free-flowing feelings.
Every two weeks, talk to them about your relationship.
Ask them for an honest opinion on whether you’re too passionate or unrealistic with your expectations.
Try not to get defensive.
Remember, this is to help you.
4 . Recognize The Red Flags.
Being able to see and take note of red flags is huge, especially in new relationships.
It’s so easy to overlook your new love interest’s flaws because you’re so excited about everything he can represent for you, like weddings or weekend trips.
But nobody is perfect.
Someone’s faults may be acceptable to you, but some may not.
That’s why it’s important to be honest with yourself and check in with your friends and family.
5 . Be the Captain of Your Emotions.
At the end of the day, no one can control your emotions but yourself.
And you can control your emotions.
Although we tend to think that feelings, like love, can hit us out of the blue, we can choose how we regulate our feelings.
Just because we think we feel something doesn’t mean it has to be true.
Start by seeing the bigger picture of your relationship – did you two start dating?
Do you know this person well?
It’s also a good idea to look at your emotional triggers.
What do you think makes you fall in love easy and fast?
Is it because you’re afraid of being alone?
Mastering your emotions will help you keep perspective on what is really developing between you and your new partner.
Love is a wonderful thing.
It’s even more wonderful when it’s not just shared between two people, but when it’s earned.
Falling in love with someone – like true love – takes time, and that’s what true love is so valuable about.
Setting boundaries and taking things slow doesn’t mean you don’t care about the other person – it just means you care about your own heart, too.
Remember: slow and steady wins the race.