Some people clearly don’t deserve to have your heart tempted the moment you finish with them.
If your ex disappeared in the middle of your sister’s wedding with one of the bridesmaids or forgot her anniversary to stay drinking with friends at the bar, surely she deserved that you finish it in a quite robust way, to say the least.
But what happens when you go out with a good person, who strives for you and in addition to this is considered very grateful to be with you, but it is not just the kind of relationship you want?
Many times, not being completely happy in a relationship should not be about the other person having flaws or making mistakes, but about yourself. In these cases, what you want is to end that person, but trying to hurt him as little as possible.
It’s really sad that a great person is just not the one for you. And it is even worse when that person feels that you are the one for them. But that does not mean that you should sustain yourself in that relationship for life just out of courtesy.
There is no way that you can completely suppress the pain that the other will feel when you end the relationship, but, if you think about it, it would be even worse if you gave continuity just by commitment; absolutely no one deserves that.
What you can do is apply certain strategies that we share with you here so that, at the very least, you save your partner all the pain you can when you break up with her.
Let’s say that there are no ways that it does not hurt, but there are ways that it does not hurt less.
1. Do it head-on
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating someone. From the moment you agreed to a sensitive relationship with someone else, you made yourself responsible for always showing your face and in all circumstances at the moment of ending that bond.
Do not think that ignoring a person you no longer want to date, or ending them through an email, a text message, or a phone call is a good alternative option.
Ending a relationship face-to-face proves respect, and yes, it hurts, it hurts less than the fact that they finish you off and also prove that you are not even essential enough to do it in person.
Ending with one person head-on also lets the other express how they feel, and say what they need to say to feel better emotionally before the cycle closes.
2. Try to find the right moment
Let’s face it, it’s not like there is a “right time” to break up with someone. It’s not like at some point in the transit of the zodiac mysteries the other person is going to be particularly receptive to being left.
What we can assure you is that there are terrible moments to end a relationship.
As a general rule, loving breaks are taken somewhat better in moments of low-sensitive stress. Remember that this stress can come from a bad moment, such as the death of a family member or loved one, but also for the moment essential, such as a graduation or an anniversary.
In short, try that the break you have in your psyche neither aggravates a bad moment nor spoils an essential one.
3. It’s not you, it is me
Yes, we know this is a cliche that you have heard hundreds and hundreds of times. But sometimes, it is also a reality. If you are concerned about not hurting the person you are breaking up with, that may very well be true.
Actually, you have no reason to say it verbatim.
In fact, the best thing is that you start by explaining how you appreciate each and every one of the good things about the other, but that at the end of the day you feel that you are looking for something different, and it does not seem fair to prevent the other person from finding their own. twin soul.
Someone with whom you might feel even happier. If you feel ready to make the commitment or the exclusivity that the other deserves.
4. Be as specific as you can
When we end a relationship, regardless of how fantastic our partner has been, as a general rule it is because it, for one reason or another, does not fulfill our hopes.
Although there are also circumstances in which you end a relationship with which you feel comfortable for the good of the other person, or because you cannot support it and fulfill some more essential life objective at the same time, such as going to live abroad.
Be that as it may, make sure you make them understand it, and never resort to vagueness like “I’m not totally happy with you” or “I think it’s not the best that we continue together.”
Reasons, motives, and whys go a long way to ensuring that your interlocutor does not spend weeks trying to figure out what he did wrong or exactly where he failed.
5. Balance sincerity and piety
Honesty is always and at all times appreciated. Or at least this way it should be. If you end the relationship due to the fact that it simply does not fulfill you or you are going to continue another path in life, honesty is the best way to continue.
Although, we must remember that being frank is not exactly the same as being atrocious.
Instead of telling your ex that you are ending her because she is too dependent and also immature, you can tell her that you realized that you are not the right person for her because you can give her the time and attention that precise.
Yes, on the other hand, the reason why you end up is something that bothers you much more truly it looks like insignificance, like a thunderous laugh or the way you wipe your nose, the best you can do is appeal to reasons somewhat more general.
Perhaps, right now you don’t have the time to invest in a long-term committed relationship. The point is that you make the resolution you have taken understandable, not that you hurt their feelings.
If the reason you are ending is that you met someone else, it is not strictly accurate that you share that information with your current partner.
Surely this criterion changes the relationship in relation to what, if you feel that it is necessary, do it, but if you can suppress it, try to do it.
6. Be understanding and sensitive
In certain cases, you may really feel deeply relieved to end a relationship that doesn’t fully satisfy you. So much so that you may forget how bad the other can feel.
Even if you don’t feel as sensitively connected to the person you’re ending with, you can’t take it for granted that they will react in the same way. It is possible that it is a much more difficult process than you think.
Therefore, be open and sensitive at all times, and worry about making your ex-partner see that the fact that you break up with her does not make her a less valuable or essential person on the planet. And, in addition to this, that you really want to save him all the pain possible.
Also, you must understand that your partner can react in multiple ways when you break up with her.
The ideal is to take it calmly and maturely, but not always, and in all circumstances, it is this way, so prepare yourself for anything, from a fit of anger to a crying scene.
7. Consider the perspective of the other
It is not about asking your boyfriend or girlfriend for permission to break up with her. Clearly, you will end if that is what you truly want.
But, especially in long-term relationships, it is essential that you give your ex-partner the opportunity to express how he or she feels about this and the disagreements he may have.
Sometimes chatting up a breakup leaves the person you are concluding with just understanding the causes of your resolution, and this makes their sensitive grieving process considerably simpler.
It is never simple to end someone we do not want to hurt. Fortunately, you can use these strategies to make things easier for him.