There comes a point in every boyfriend’s life when they want more than just a connection.
Those late-night calls, Netflix, and relaxing dates can get old and even make you feel like you’re worthless.
Whether you’ve just met someone new and want to avoid being put in the “dating-only” category, or you’re dating someone and want to take the relationship further, there are things you can do to turn the tables and be seen as someone that a guy wants. want to have for a long time.
Check out these 10 tips to make him want more than something casual:
1. Be clear about what you’re looking for from the start.
At the beginning of a new relationship, people often avoid saying what they really want for fear of being rejected.
“In many cases, this leads to rejection because expectations for the relationship are misaligned,” explains Tiffany Toombs, relationship expert and coach.
“If the other person isn’t ready for a relationship, or if they don’t want anything more than dating, it’s not your job to change that person.”
And the more time and energy you spend with that person, the less time and energy you spend finding the right person for you.
If you find yourself constantly starting relationships as casual and trying to make the switch to something more serious, you’re going to have a hard time doing that.
2. Find out what he wants in a natural way.
A little hard play to get, but don’t play with the person you want in your life, explains dating expert Chris Pleines.
“Although the label ‘we’re in a relationship’ isn’t really necessary during the early stages, you want to know if you’re exclusive at some point,” he explains.
“The most effective approach here is to be natural: you are hanging out, meeting in any of your places, spending time together.
If you really enjoy being with each other and have developed feelings for the man, it’s good to just tell him how you feel. ”
3. Don’t pretend to be casual just because he is.
“When a guy says he’s just looking to have fun, you shouldn’t just go along hoping to change his mind when he meets you,” says Apollonia Ponti, licensed international dating and relationship expert and coach.
“Understand that he’s just looking to have fun and you have to decide how much attention you should give him.”
4. Don’t sleep with him on the first date.
It can be really exciting when he’s super seductive and the chemistry is boiling on the first date, but if you’re looking for something more than a connection, you can resist the temptation.
“If you go home with him the first night, chances are it will remain a one-time date,” says Pleines.
“If you’re sure you want to see him again, Don’t sleep with him.
Guys are hard to understand when it comes to sleeping together on first dates. Sure, they love it, but some lose interest when they have it on the first night. ”
5. Don’t take booty calls early in the relationship.
You can let him know how you want things to be, without saying it clearly, by setting some boundaries.
“If you want something more serious, make him see early on in the relationship what you would and wouldn’t do,” says Pleines.
“If he’s asking for a booty call regularly, he’s definitely going for something casual rather than a serious relationship.”
6. Don’t contradict your connection status.
You know when you’re on a date and things get hot and heavy and you tell the man you “want to take it slow” or “don’t hook up on the first date”, then the next morning you wake up looking for your clothes?
Rest assured that when you meet a man, you take responsibility and keep your word. Accompanying herself to meet him.
7. Make sure you are initiating and giving back.
You don’t want to be the one who is always in touch with him and always available. This is a diversion.
“Let him come to you (unless it’s not just for withdrawal calls),” says Ponti.
“But know that you have to give back, and start a little, every now and then.
Many women think that men have to do the work, and while that works for some, it doesn’t last long because men want to feel wanted. Make sure he reaches out to you here and there and when he shows interest, mirror his behavior. ”
9. Don’t be Miss Independent.
Putting up front that you don’t need a man can backfire. If you’re interested in a guy and want someone in your life, tell him.
“I know a lot of women who have struggled to get where they are, but a man finds it hard to fit in when you’re very independent and preaches that you did everything yourself,” says Ponti. “It’s great to talk about your accomplishments and struggles. But men also want to feel that they are needed at some point in a relationship. ”
10. Know your worth.
“Relationships and dating are the biggest tests of our self-esteem,” says Toombs.
“Be so confident in your self-esteem that you won’t be satisfied with just being a liaison. When women lack self-worth, they are more likely to compromise their long-term needs and desires for short-term attention, companionship, and affection. ”
This becomes a vicious cycle after dating, as feelings of low self-esteem often increase, which leads to seeking more immediate validation and more unhealthy relationships.
If you’ve already hooked up with a guy and your relationship is mostly casual, that doesn’t mean it can’t turn into something more. Many relationships started from connections. If you want more from him, it’s time to start doing other things together.
“Change the rhythm of the relationship and start doing more than just Netflix and relax. The important thing here is not to get too emotionally involved at this point,” says Ponti. “You want to be clear and balanced so you can think and act the right way so he can see the balance of independence you have.”
If your guy is nice to be with you and does things other than sleeping with you, that’s a great sign. If he’s not interested in doing anything else with you, even going to dinner, then it’s pretty clear he just wants you for dates.