I don’t know how to stop loving you, but I try

Where can we start when we try to forget someone who was once our greatest gift?

How can we get up and move forward when this person still has all the power over our hearts?

How do you go to an appointment and give someone else a chance when, all along, you have only one desire: that it be him?

The truth is that I have no words. I do not know what to say. I do not know where to go. I do not know what to do. I have no idea how I’m going to forget about it and possibly move on.

Because even if I absolutely have to move on and forget, I believe that a part of me is not yet ready for it.

My relatives tell me that the world is full of men, that it is not just him. But when you meet the good, or at least the one you think is good, it is extremely difficult to move on. Above all, when you spend your time thinking about him, saying that he is there, somewhere, right next to it…

How to say stop to love? How can we no longer love when this love consumes us and makes us a fiery blaze?

How do we get someone out of our thoughts, when they are in each of the 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? When it dwells in our depths?

How to no longer love someone, when in the first place, to love him was not a choice but something that fell on us without warning?

It is our first thought in the morning and our last thought before we fall asleep. And it’s uncontrollable … It even ends up living in each of our dreams and we wake up wishing it was reality.

He’s the one we want to talk to every day. It is to him that we want to turn when we are sad or when things do not go as we imagined.

In short, it is everything for us. So how do we make sure that this all doesn’t exist anymore?

Because if it is true that absence strengthens feelings of love, how can separation cause us to no longer love?

On the contrary, one has the impression that the rupture strengthens an already deep love.

And we should never want someone who doesn’t want us back. Unfortunately, it is not that simple. We should never want someone who has accustomed us to living in pain.

You are the last thing I should want and yet you are the only thing I want.

And every day spent without you seems like an eternity in the desert. Like whole weeks without water. 

I don’t know how to make it happen and stop.

Everyone tells me that time heals all wounds, but for now, the sores are open and the pain throbbing.

And I feel like it will never stop.

That said, a little ray of hope is on the horizon … I can reassure myself by telling myself that the world has people like you.

And if love was a choice, if I had been told that ours would end in the flow of my sobs, I would have changed nothing. I would have loved you anyway.

Because you allowed me to open my heart, a heart that until then was afraid to love and even to feel anything.

You have taught me to love again and I keep trusting, hoping that you will also be the one who will teach me how we stop loving.