When we hear about impossible loves, a pair of lovers come to mind who will never be happy together.
A story like Romeo and Juliet, where no matter how intense the feeling is, a love relationship cannot exist.
These kinds of relationships are usually intense, exciting, stressful since they do not depend on the feeling but on other circumstances that make the couple unviable.
What is an impossible love?
It is called impossible love when the emotional bond between two people is not enough for them to be a couple, mainly due to obstacles that do not depend on them, such as distance, financial problems, health problems, family offenses, or death.
When this happens, the feeling that prevails in lovers is one of disappointment, frustration, and helplessness, since, beyond the solid nexus of love, they cannot materialize as a couple and live their relationship.
In these cases, all the typical dreams of a couple are impossible to achieve, so love gives way to pain, anger, and sadness.
Even on many occasions, they are unable to express what they feel to avoid being judged, which also causes isolation.
What is behind impossible loves?
We tend to think that when talking about love, everything must be perfect, simple, and durable.
But in real life this does not always happen, each relationship is different and many of them are not achieved, although there is a real desire and feelings to do so.
Movies and novels have made us believe that all love is worth obstacles and that, if there are real feelings, everything will be possible.
But this is not the case in all cases.
Many times when there is an impossible love, someone else’s feelings are not pursued, but there are a series of emotions that also carry an important weight and lead you to cling to that person, even if it is impossible.
We comment on some of those factors:
1. Have compassion for your partner
The subject takes pity on the situation of the other person and therefore tries to stay by their side, despite the fact that things do not flow in the healthiest way possible for both.
2. Feel a lot of admiration for your partner
The virtues that are seen in the other person lead you to idealize or deify them, their qualities are often exaggerated, and that admiration for their talents is confused with sentimental love.
For example, I knew the case of a Literature student who got excited about her teacher (who was 28 years older than her) because he was very cultured and motivated her to be a great writer.
She admired him and he unwittingly fueled her interest by paying special attention to her.
Admiration led to fascination and he fell for the game.
They had an idyll – prohibited by their status as teacher and student – for a while until they realized that they had many differences, she wanted to do things that he did not enjoy.
They were in different stages of life.
It was not love, but a misunderstood admiration.
They finally decided to put an end to their hidden relationship, because the risk they put their careers into was not worth it either.
3. Being afraid of being lonely
It is one of the main characteristics of impossible love affairs.
The fear of living alone makes us feel an emptiness that we need to fill at all costs.
Many times, impossible relationships have clear obstacles, but lovers insist on them because, although they know that it hurts them, they feel they need the other person in their life.
They are not motivated by love and company, but by the despair of or falling into loneliness.
4. To be very fond of the person
This often happens to those lifelong friends, who confuse everyday life with passion, only to discover that the two know each other so much that the union becomes boring.
And that is when the complaints and moral contradictions appear about abandoning someone who has been appreciated for years or putting up with them despite the fact that the physical attraction, desire to talk or share, have disappeared.
In these cases, love is considered impossible because there is no true physical attraction that makes a relationship viable.
Affection – which is not the same as love or passion – is what often leads some to cling to those loves without a future.
5. Have emotional dependence
Perhaps one of the parties has emotional problems that make them believe that they will not be able to be happy if they are not with that other person, who sometimes does not even have an idea of the great weight and responsibility that they have placed on them.
In these cases of emotional dependence, what happens is that the happiness of one necessarily depends on the other, which places great pressure on the relationship.
If that other person wants to break up, they feel compelled to continue because they fear the consequences of a breakup.
Dependence makes you want to fight to keep your partner, but at the same time they turn out to be so exhausting and relentless, that they end up killing the desire to move on.
6. Romantic idealism
There are people who say that love is a force capable of everything.
What if there are true feelings, there will be no obstacle that can prevent a loving relationship between two people.
This is a common belief fueled by romantic movies, literature, and series.
So it happens that many times a relationship is impossible, but one of the two clings to the possibility of staying together just because he is convinced that true love conquers everything, because he refuses to lose and assumes that, simply, some things do not happen. as we want.
7. Fear of having a stable relationship
Some choose those who despise them because that way they have a valid excuse to justify the fear of intimacy and avoid embarking on committed and serious relationships.
Oddly enough, in these situations, there is a need to feel the closeness and affection of a relationship, but there is fear of the commitment that a formal partner implies. That is why “impossible loves” are sought to avoid serious and intimate relationships as a couple.
8. Attraction for the forbidden
This is one of the most impulsive and basic emotions of humans: being attracted to what we cannot have.
If someone is very available, we don’t like them, but if they are elusive and elusive, then we become obsessed with having that person in our lives.
When someone is unattainable, we get more attention.
That is why an impossible love can be exciting because it makes us cling to the possibility of having that person.
The more difficult to conquer, the more striking it is!
9. Need for acceptance
We all like to feel important and necessary. Many times, we find it hard to believe in ourselves and that is why we like to have people around us who constantly flatter and admire us.
That is why we can be unhappy in a relationship, or know that it has no future, but we insist on staying with it because we like to have attention and feel accepted by that other person.
Types of impossible loves
There are many reasons why love can be considered impossible.
It is not the same when there is the geographical distance that separates lovers as when it comes to unrequited love.
Both are impossible, but they are different situations.
That is why we have made a list of the main types of impossible relationships, organized primarily by the reasons for not being able to specify the relationship:
a) Platonic
It is the type of relationship in which one of the two loves but is not reciprocated.
It is then a genuine feeling, but that only one of the parties feels and therefore it is assumed and accepted that it will simply never translate into a true relationship.
This type of love is pure and innocent, it does not necessarily imply carnal desires.
For example, when a child feels “in love” with his teacher or it is the feeling between two friends who enjoy being together, but do not see each other as a romantic partner.
b) Infatuation
Infatuation occurs when there is an obsession.
One of the two idealizes the other person, imagines what their life could be like if they were together and, although there is no real possibility of entering into a relationship, they cling to that idea to the point of verging on dementia.
This leads to feeling an unhealthy need to be accepted by the other person and to enter into a relationship, even when there are no conditions for it.
In fact, the negative things of the other are also idealized and irrational fear of rejection is created, so they do not even try to start a relationship.
But he is still obsessed with memories and even evokes the way the other dresses, their perfume, their environment.
c) Unrequited
This is simple and the most common: one of the two loves the other, but the other does not feel the same. Does that make it impossible? Yes.
Sometimes it is thought that if there is the insistence, it is possible to conquer another person, but you have to know when it is simply not possible and accept that that relationship will not exist.
d) Obsessive
This is the type of relationship in which there is a pathological dependence of one person on the partner. That is, in which one literally cannot live, advance, feel or grow if the other is not by his side.
It is considered to be an impossible love because no relationship can survive that level of pressure and that couple will necessarily end in a breakup.
