You’ve heard this dating advice before: go easy on a new guy, because otherwise, your romance will fizzle out.
Do you agree with this?
Or do you think this makes no sense?
If you think about love stories you’ve seen in movies or any romantic books you’ve read, you might be thinking that fictional relationships tend to move very fast.
The characters fall in love as quickly as possible, and while there are some obstacles along the way, the romance lasts.
The truth is, taking things slow doesn’t lead to a lasting romance.
There are a few different reasons for this, and you can read them below.
Here are five reasons why taking it slow isn’t the best idea if you’re looking for your best friend, soulmate, and true love.
1. You Don’t Hang Out Enough To Get Closer
You’ve just started dating a new guy and you’ve already been on two dates with him.
You could have gone to one of these two dates in the same week, but maybe the first and second were a week apart.
When you are in the greatest chemistry with someone, you want to see them as soon as possible.
You don’t want to wait a week between dates.
It just doesn’t make sense, because all you can think about is him and all you want to do is talk to him again.
When you take things slow, you don’t see each other enough to create a real connection, and that’s one of the reasons why this isn’t the best idea.
The beginning of a relationship is the time when the two of you get to know each other and discover as much as you can.
You want to know what his favorite things are and why he is so interesting.
He wants to know the same things about you.
You two shouldn’t stop thinking about each other and all you want is to spend time together.
If you open up an obstacle and say you need to take things slow and you can only see each other once a week, then you are not allowing the two of you to get close and feel connected.
The bond you form in the early days of your relationship is crucial.
This needs to happen so you can let the relationship grow.
2. It Seems Like You’re Assuming Things Won’t Work Out
When you take things slow it could be for a few different reasons like maybe your last relationship ended really badly or you wonder if this new guy is going to hurt you or cheat on you.
Where’s the fun in that?
Taking things slow makes it seem like you’re assuming things aren’t going to work out, and that’s no way to start something new.
Falling in love with someone will always be a risk.
This is true even if you look perfect for each other and there are no red flags or weird things happening.
And honestly, it’s okay to take the risk of love.
It’s totally worth it and anyone who is in love at the moment would agree.
Instead of wondering if things are going to go wrong and the two of you are going to break up, why not assume that the relationship is going to work out and this guy will be your one true love ?
This is a much better framework to follow.
If you move at a normal or even accelerated pace, you are approaching the relationship from a more positive place.
And since love is such a positive emotion, it seems like a good idea.
3. You Might Not Be Sure About How You Feel And Date Longer Than You Should
Taking things slow could be covering up the fact that you and this person aren’t really together.
You can really be totally wrong with each other in many ways.
You won’t notice this for a long time because you only see each other once a week or have a date night a few times a month.
You are busy with other things and focused on other aspects of your life, like your career, friendships, and family.
Instead of putting time and effort into the relationship, you’re thinking about other things.
The two of you may have doubts about how you feel about each other.
You might assume you like each other because you see each other once a week, but it’s not like you’re so crazy about each other that you can’t spend a few days or even a day apart.
You’re not giving yourself a chance to really like him and you could end up wasting your time and his as well.
4. You Don’t Experience The Magic Of Falling In Love
Taking things slow doesn’t lead to lasting romance for another reason: it doesn’t allow you to experience the magic of falling in love.
This is a super important point because love is a very beautiful thing.
It’s a popular theme of songs, movies, and books for that reason.
People want to fall in love so much that they’re willing to go out on many first dates to find him, and it’s something people dream of experiencing.
When you go out with someone once in a while, you’re putting a lot of distance between the two of you.
You won’t fall in love because you rarely see each other.
Love takes a lot of time and effort, and you’re not putting time and effort into the new relationship.
The reason couples say they love each other after just two or three months is that they cultivate a bond and spend a lot of time together.
Although it’s been two or three months and that doesn’t seem like a long time, it feels like a lot longer.
5. A Relationship Can’t Sustain Such a Slow Pace
A relationship won’t work if two people are taking it slow.
The two aren’t committed to each other and aren’t trying hard enough.
While you can still see your friends and do the things you enjoy, of course, you don’t want to act like this new guy isn’t important to you.
You want to allow the relationship to develop naturally and at the pace, he wants to go.
For a lot of people, this is pretty quick, because when you finally meet someone amazing, you’re invested in that person from the start.
If it’s been two years delaying things, how do you know the two of you are supposed to be together?
How do you know it’s time to get married or move in together when you only see each other once a week?
These are all important things to think about.
We all want to find love and we want that love to last as there is nothing worse than heartbreak or feeling that we have dated someone longer than we should.
When we think we need to take things slow with a new guy, we’re actually not doing the best thing we can do for ourselves.
We’re ruining our chances of finding true love.
The truth is, when we want to find a romance that lasts, we can’t take things slow.
We have to be open to seeing this guy as much as we can, letting him into our lives, and making us a part of his life as well.
It’s the only way to guarantee that we’re going to succeed.