Why doesn’t he text me?

When he doesn’t text you, you can easily panic and worry.

He is fine?

Is he not into me?

Something is wrong?

These are just a few questions that might pop into your mind when he doesn’t respond to you.

The reasons for your lack of response may vary and may also depend on your relationship and how long you’ve known each other.

You should consider whether you’ve just met him or if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time.

In a relationship that has been going on for some time, the possible reasons for not responding to you are fewer.

But if you’re just getting to know this guy, there are a lot more variables to consider.

After all, if you barely know him, there could be a number of reasons why he isn’t texting you back.

Why doesn’t he text you back

You’re texting him too much

If you’re texting your guy every few minutes throughout the day, he might be having a hard time keeping up with all of your messages.

This will be especially difficult for him if he has a fast-paced routine applicable to most people.

Reflect on the messages sent, as well as the frequency and duration of messages.

Are you sending him so fast that he can barely read them and respond to them right away?

Also consider that sending entire paragraphs or five messages in a row may cause him to not read what you sent right away, especially if he is in the middle of another task.

Are you prone to texting him at work or school and expect him to text you within minutes?

Or have you ever texted him while he’s sleeping or before getting out of bed?

Be wary of sending him too many messages.

You don’t want to risk overwhelming him with your super communication.

He already got what he wanted

This applies to things like hookups with someone you’ve just met.

If this sounds like your situation, he may be ignoring your messages because he already got what he wanted from you.

You are asking him too many questions

It’s perfectly normal to want to know more about the guy you’re interested in, but consider if you might be overwhelming him with all the questions you’re asking.

A healthy relationship needs space and space to grow.

If you bombard him with too many questions at once, he might feel like he needs some space from you.

By asking too many questions, he may feel as if he is being questioned by the police or as if he is being interviewed for a job.

But that’s not how your relationship should be.

He may also be worried about having the wrong answers to his questions.

Are you just curious about his answers?

Or are there certain specific answers you expect him to give you?

If he’s feeling like he’s being interrogated and that you might give him a bad grade, then why would he want to text you?

Are you asking him easy questions, like whether he likes cats or dogs or where he would like to live someday?

Or are you asking him about every girl he’s dated?

The latter can be very difficult for him to answer, especially if you’re still not serious.

Unless they are urgent questions, leave the questions you have for him.

If you ask too many serious questions, he will worry about being judged on his answers.

He doesn’t know what to say

Sometimes, there are just no appropriate words to express yourself at the moment.

This is likely to happen if you are trying to tackle some heavy topics with him.

It’s also common for guys to have more problems when it comes to communicating, especially when emotions and feelings are involved.

In that case, try to be patient and understanding.

Being impatient will only make you want to walk away from the relationship even further.

If things are especially tense between the two of you, he may or may not know what to say, or he may want to wait and gather his thoughts before responding to your messages.

You are being very needy

Being a high-maintenance individual can easily make someone else want to avoid you; so be careful not to ask for more than he can give you.

The problem with being needy is that you don’t even realize it applies to you at first.

This kind of fulfillment will require you to watch your behavior and patterns, especially when it comes to your romantic relationships.

Does it seem like you’re always asking for reassurance or do you always want something from him?

Do you always talk about yourself and never ask him about him?

These are signs that you may be very needy.

Here are some other questions that might help you figure out if you’re really needy.

Do you trust him to make you happy?

Are you easily upset or frustrated if he doesn’t meet all your needs?

Do you get jealous easily?

When you’re not with him, do you find ways to fixate on your relationship?

If this applies to you, you might be very needy, which might explain why he doesn’t text you.

Try to be more aware and attentive to what you are asking him to do for you.

Does every thought of yours need to be sent to him?

Working to improve your self-esteem can also be helpful for you.

He wants you to write first

This scenario is most applicable to a guy you’ve just met.

It’s possible that he won’t text you because he expects you to text him first.

His reasons could be that he is shy or that he feels like you should be making the first move for some reason.

Maybe he’s trying to be a gentleman and trying not to chase after you.

If you haven’t texted him yet, try and send him a message.

Try to keep the message casual and short.

You can even say hi, ask how he’s doing, or bring up something from a previous conversation.

You can also tell him something that made you think of him.

He forgot

Sometimes a guy might just forget to reply to your message or even to send any messages at all.

Whatever the reasons for your forgetfulness, it won’t hurt you to take the first step and send him a message first.

It can even be easy to forget to send a message.

Maybe he’s seen your message and is trying to figure out what to reply to, only he’s forgotten he never replied to you.

However, if he doesn’t remember to text you multiple times, he might not be the right person for you.

You do all the talking or chatting work

If you’ve just met or been together a long time, maybe he won’t send it first because you always take the initiative.

If you’re always taking the lead and texting him first, then he might feel like that’s how your relationship is.

But what if he enjoys leading the relationship from time to time?

The thing is, if you’re both used to the roles you’ve fallen into, you might want to have this discussion with him first.

Otherwise, you might not text him and he might just sit around waiting for you to start the conversation.

He still doesn’t know you that well

This only applies if you’re still getting to know this guy.

Some people just don’t like to talk and he may not feel comfortable texting you before you get to know each other better.

He might even prefer that you spend time together in person rather than communicating through your phones.

If he doesn’t know your sense of humor or your interests, he may still not know what to say to you, especially through text messages that are very different from face-to-face communication.

You hurt his feelings

Sometimes we wonder why someone is avoiding us without stopping to think if we might be the cause behind this change in behavior.

Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings.

You can hurt a man’s feelings, especially if you are in a relationship where he is vulnerable to you.

Here are possible reasons why your feelings might be hurt.

Did he say he loves you, just so you won’t say it back?

Although you shouldn’t say it if you’re not serious, your silence can make him feel hurt.

Women aren’t the only ones who care if you comment on their appearance.

If you’ve criticized your weight or appearance lately, he might feel hurt by it.

Criticism in general can hurt someone’s feelings and your subject is not immune to it.

If you’ve criticized your habits at home or your work ethic, these are things that can hurt your feelings.

Think about recent events and try to remember if there is anything you might have said or done to hurt his feelings.

Even if you didn’t mean to hurt him, is there any chance he took something the wrong way?

The only way to know for sure if you’ve hurt his feelings is to ask if you’ve hurt his feelings.

And if he needs space, for now, give it to him until he’s ready to talk.

You are very negative

This reason goes beyond hurting your feelings.

In general, you may be saying things that don’t make you feel good.

If you’re always negative when you talk to him, your negativity can make him feel like he needs to get some distance from you, especially if your negative speech can put him in a bad mood.

Do you always complain about something to him?

While it’s normal to vent to people, especially important people, sometimes it can be easy to overdo it.

You should feel free to vent, but don’t let that be 100% of your entire conversation.

If everything is negative and nothing is positive, why would he want to talk to you?

He is busy

Sometimes there is no deeper meaning to him not texting you and he can be extremely busy at the moment.

From college exams to the many things happening at work, there are many things that can keep you busy.

But how do you know if he’s really busy and not just ignoring you because he doesn’t care?

There are ways you can tell what his intentions are.

If he apologizes for not responding to your messages, he’s probably being sincere.

If he doesn’t apologize, he probably doesn’t regret keeping you waiting.

Does he make an effort to make up for some lost time with you, or does it essentially seem like you’re always talking to a wall?

If he’s interested in you, he’ll eventually respond to your messages even if he’s been busy for a few hours.

He’s focused on something else

This ties in with him being very busy at the moment.

Men are known to generally only focus on one thing at a time, while women are better able to multi-task and multi-task.

If you’re texting him and he doesn’t respond within an hour or two, maybe he’s got himself into something.

It could be something important or as small as being stuck at the level of a video game.

One thing is right.

If he’s involved with you, it doesn’t mean he’s purposely trying to ignore you.

He’s just focusing on what he’s doing at the moment.

As long as he doesn’t disappear for hours and hours or even days, you should learn to give him his space.

If you think you can trust him, do it and let him have his free time without you.

He is avoiding you

A common reason a guy won’t text you is that he’s been avoiding you.

In most cases, this will be extremely obvious.

If he is avoiding you, he will either not respond to your messages or respond in a very short, one-word reply to your messages.

If he’s being too low on you, chances are he’s avoiding you.

Why is he avoiding you?

He may not be interested in you or maybe there is some kind of necessary discussion he is putting off.

While it’s healthy to give him some space, if he can’t communicate properly with you, he’s not worth it.

Try moving on in that case.

He’s playing cool

While this guy might be interested in you, he might be hesitant to show interest right away.

If he’s not texting you, then he might be trying to have fun.

Why does he want to be nice?

He may be afraid to scare you if he seems too anxious.

If he shows all of his feelings to you right away, it will make him vulnerable.

Just because he’s having fun doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about his relationship with you.

He’s not yet at the point where he feels he can let his guard down with you.

How can you tell he’s acting disinterested instead of actually ignoring you completely?

You can find out the answer to this because it will give you some hints.

If he’s said he’s okay with going out with you and follows that up with words like “or whatever,” then he’s probably trying to sound calm.

Any vocabulary that is indifferent could be him trying to be nice to you.

It’s possible that he doesn’t want to seem like something important to him if you don’t feel the same way.

Eventually, you’ll have to tear down that wall and get him to share his feelings with you.

Appearing uninterested is completely normal at the beginning of the dating phase, but when you start dating and spend more time together, he should be more willing to invest his time and emotions in you and the relationship.

He doesn’t think you’re interested

This is for the kind of situation where you haven’t figured out what your relationship is yet.

He might like you and you might like him, but what if he’s not clear about his feelings?

He might be hesitant to text you because he doesn’t want to assume you like him.

Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move.

It can be very difficult to find out how someone feels about you.

Even if you are nice to each other and flirt, he may still be afraid of you rejecting him.

If you’re interested in him, don’t be shy.

Instead, talk to him and see where the conversation takes you.

You never know if romance can blossom with that small gesture.

The moment is not right

Sometimes it’s not really you and he’s the problem.

If you’ve chatted and gone out a few times and he seems genuinely in love with you, you’re probably trying to figure out why he doesn’t text anymore.

Who knows, maybe the timing might not be right.

Maybe there is something else going on in your life that makes it very difficult to be in a relationship right now.

He may be dealing with personal issues or feeling too busy to be with anyone, but the only way to know for sure is if he tells you.

If the timing isn’t right, try to convince him otherwise, but don’t feel too bad if it doesn’t work out.

Maybe it shouldn’t be, at least for now.


Now that you know some of the reasons why he isn’t texting you, it’s up to you to decide how to handle the situation.

While you should try to communicate with him and be patient with him, it may only last for a limited time.

If your attempts to communicate with him are met with absolute silence for more than a few days, it’s time to move on.

You deserve better and maybe it’s best for you to separate until he can learn to communicate with you in a mature way.