When happy couples share how they met, there is usually a lot of magic involved. “It was love at first sight”, proudly say the lovers sitting on the sofa holding hands. Also in Hollywood movies, it is equally romantic as soon as a man and a woman meet by chance. But does love at first sight really exist? We set out to reveal the truth behind the myth. Also, in this article, we provide helpful tips on what to do if you unexpectedly find your “wife for life”.
What does the presentiment say?
Surely you have already experienced the famous love at first sight:
You sit with friends in the pub or cafe and drink your latte macchiato. Suddenly, the door opens. A stunning beauty with long legs and a charming smile enters the restaurant – the woman of his dreams. You catch your breath, and can’t take your eyes off her as she sits next to you with her graceful movements at the table.
To not stare at her in love all the time, go back to your drinking and your friends’ conversation. But his thoughts and gazes wander over and over and end up with this beautiful woman at the next table. You’ve only seen her for a few minutes, but you can’t get the lady out of your mind anymore. “This is love at first sight”, you think, and finally decide to talk to her…
These are stories that life writes, and often: Many men, but also women, have the feeling that there is love at first sight. From their first meeting at the supermarket or club, they somehow know that he or she is the right match for a relationship.
The phenomenon doesn’t even stop in the Internet world. When dating online on individual sites, Instagram or Facebook, some people jokingly talk about “love at first click” when they see a photo of a beautiful woman. Even if we don’t know the other person yet: we are so overwhelmed by the sight that our heart immediately beats faster and the butterflies in our stomachs begin to flutter madly.
what science says
Research shows that the belief in love, at first sight, is common in our culture. According to statistics, in 2014, 73 percent of men surveyed believed in this phenomenon. For women in the same survey, it was 76%. Therefore, there is almost no difference between the genders in this matter. In summary, it can be said: three-quarters of adults believe in love at first sight – a very clear result!
From a scientific point of view, there seems to be a lot to be said about love at first sight. In attractiveness research, scientists today are largely in agreement that the appearance of other people plays a central role in whether we want to get to know them better and whether we can fall in love with them. In a matter of seconds, we instinctively decide whether we find our counterpart interesting and whether we can imagine a partnership. This applies to both women and men.
In addition, numerous studies on perceived attractiveness have been conducted in the past, in which researchers presented their subjects with pictures of different people. The result: women or men, whose physical characteristics we find particularly physically attractive, immediately trigger bodily reactions: These include increased pulse, sweating, and increased release of various hormones. These are very similar physical symptoms that can also be found in people who are in love. But can you really speak of “love” at first sight?
What do flirt pros say?
We don’t just want to give you our personal opinion on what we think of the love at first sight myth. We also want to give you some solid tips on how to best handle spontaneous encounters that literally drive you crazy.
Love is a big word. But have you ever wondered what exactly is love? Unfortunately, we have to pull a tooth out of you: love means much more than finding an interesting or physically attractive woman. Being in love and the roller coaster of feelings are also part of the beginning of a relationship, but that’s still not all we understand by love.
Because true love also means valuing the partner for their character and being there for each other in common (everyday) life. This is something that is planted at the beginning of the partnership and, during the courtship, it grows from a tender plant to a large tree.
It goes without saying that this happiness cannot exist in the first moment of the encounter between a woman and a man. That’s why we consider love, at first sight, to be a myth, if you take the phrase literally. It would be more appropriate to speak of “attraction” or “interest” at first sight. I’ll admit – this doesn’t sound too good, but it comes to a lot closer to reality…
What should I do if I suddenly see a beautiful woman?
When you’re out and about and you see a hot woman out of nowhere, don’t think of something like love at first sight. Of course, you can and should find the beauty you’ve found so unexpectedly appealing. This attraction is the natural energy between a man and a woman that is needed when looking for a partner so that you can get over yourself and talk to the lady.
But when you think about love at first sight, you lock yourself in your head. Because? With these myths, you put the woman on a three-foot-tall pedestal. Most of all, you fantasize about the perfect relationship with a complete stranger with whom you haven’t exchanged a word. Isn’t that an insane exaggeration when you think about it?
The problem is, if you put so much importance on this spontaneous encounter, you’re just putting yourself under pressure while flirting. The ugly little man in your ear then whispers to you, “This woman is so important, she has to work now!” These high expectations make you tense while flirting – and the woman notices it too!
The best tip for relaxed communication
So our tip: stay calm, take a deep breath – whether you see her in real life, on the dating app, or on Facebook. Yes, she is a beautiful woman. But you don’t (yet) know more about her than her looks. Maybe the beautiful stranger is an arrogant person that you normally wouldn’t want to see every day. Everything is possible because each person is different.
That’s why you should approach them as unbiasedly as possible and find out what makes them really work. Get to know her better, get her phone number and meet her on a date. In this way, an unexpected meeting can turn into a great love – even if only at second or third sight.
Can love, at first sight, turn into a happy relationship?
We often see other people who literally “surprise us”. We are immediately in love and want nothing more than to spend time with the woman – preferably for a lifetime! Whether this quick being in love can turn into a full partnership, however, is in the stars. Because as I said: as you still don’t know each other, the path is open in all directions.
However, a well-meaning tip at the end: we men tend to wear the famous rose-colored glasses when we fall in love. The woman’s weaknesses then happily disappear until the soap bubble bursts and we can finally see clearly. So get to know each other and take the step towards the relationship little by little. A “sober” look at your potential partner helps you get a realistic picture of her and avoid disappointment. Love can also develop slowly and so is even more sustainable. Believe me, it’s worth it!