There is nothing more painful than being separated from someone you thought you spent the rest of your life with. Whether it is an amicable breakdown, a divorce, or something else, it is as if the sky is falling on our heads and we no longer know how to get up. If you find yourself in this situation and don’t know how to take control of your life, follow these tips to regain self-confidence and finally enjoy life
Relearn self-confidence
Know therefore that you can not rebuild your life after a painful break if you do not regain confidence in yourself, or in your ability to seduce again. Indeed, a separation or a divorce, even if it is you who wanted it and not the other person, has the power to make you lose your beautiful insurance. Accustomed to believe that you still like your other half, whatever your outfit or your hairstyle, you no longer tried to seduce other people. These are however the cruelest, because they can judge you without mercy or benevolence. This forces you to make a lot of effort to arouse their interests again. It is without counting on the ravages that maternity, the years and the vagaries of life have made your body, and that you must henceforth embellish if you want to please again.
Easy to say, but difficult to do, this challenge is the new feeling that must inspire you to regain confidence in your seductive abilities. Indeed, believe it or not, if it is a man who put you in this state of despair, only a man can also pull you from there. In short, there is only love that heals love, the reason to go there to taste again the pleasures of life.
Mourn her former love
It would be a mistake to believe that this will happen overnight, especially if the relationship lasted ten or twenty years. Diving headlong into another, without even thinking, just to forget the other is also not the ideal solution.
It is best to allow yourself time to mourn your former love, even if it was a painful breakup. Its duration depends however on the temperament of each, but it generally varies from one year to a few years. Staying alone for a while allows you to take stock of your life, learn to exist without depending on another person, and do what you really like. This is even essential especially if you have gotten too used to living together with your other half and you have not dared to make decisions or do things without him.
If some take advantage of their new freedom to finally realize the fantasies they have entertained throughout their married life, others do not dare to take the plunge. And they have everything to be right, because without having thought carefully about the probable causes of the failure of their previous stories, they risk going straight into the wall.
However, it is not advisable to make this moment of loneliness last long, because it can lock you in and prevent you from moving forward. Keep in touch with the outside world while going out or having dinner with your friends, practice your favorite sport, especially if you haven’t had time to do it lately, etc. In short, move and live, it is the only effective remedy to regain self-confidence.
Reconnect with physical love
Once you start to take back control of your celibate life, maybe the urge to reconnect with carnal pleasure will take you again. As previously recommended, take it easy though, because not having s**x for a while can stress you out. You can even panic at the idea of revealing your body to the inquisitive look of another man, which could spoil the magic of the moment. To avoid being blocked by this fear, use various tricks to make the moment exceptional.
Use, for example, dim lights, expertly chosen lingerie that enhances your body, a sweet spellbinding scent, soft skin free of dead cells, etc. The best is to go with a man who attracts you enough to make love with him, but whom you do not like too much to the point of falling in love with him. This will indeed allow you not to be too anxious at the idea of not pleasing him or not.
Besides, this is the means that more than one woman who has become single again has used to reconnect with the joys of carnal pleasure. If the heart is not there yet, the body can respond to it and be satisfied with it.
Relearn to seduce
You then gradually relearn the rules of seduction, the ones you forgot to apply once you got married, or found a couple. At that time, you did not actually consider men as potential prey. You simply talk to them without having any other ideas in mind. Now that you’ve become single again and want to start your life all over again, it’s quite different. The codes of seduction that you have used with the other may not work, which prompts you to look for others, more effective. However, don’t waste your time at the risk of hurting yourself even more than before. Stay yourself, just smile, we’ll be sure to approach you.
However, take care of your appearance. If necessary, change your hairstyle, wardrobe and go on a diet to lose the pounds you gained during your period of depression, etc. Nothing, in fact, like a radical change of look to put ideas back in place and give hope for a new meeting. You will even wonder why you did not do it sooner as your new appearance suits you.
Go out again
Also, as said before, start going out again to give yourself new chances in love. However, don’t do it just to bring “a male” home. Do it for fun, stress relief, and relaxation after a grueling work week, for example. If you have visited your colleagues or friends and none of them please you or they are all taken, do not be discouraged. Rather go to the gyms or go dancing in a club with your friends, you will not fail to meet there. You then have to sort and choose the one that you like the most.
In case you are shy by nature, why not try serious online dating sites? Protected behind your screen, you will know other men in search of the same thing as you, love. If you have affinities with one of them, it may lead to something serious, the reason to try. Moreover, there are currently a large number, listing users of all ages, both young and mature. You just have to take good care of your profile, put your best photo in it and voila.
Respect family life
As strong as your desire to start your life over after a breakup is, however, take a good look at your children’s side if you already have one. Indeed, it is not only you who were heartbroken, following your breakup with their father for example. They too can still be traumatized. So, try to raise the subject with them, ask their opinion on the fact that you are thinking of starting a new life, etc. So don’t force another man on them if they don’t feel ready for it. Moreover, currently, as soon as you announce a conquest their existence, this one can take its legs to its neck, the reason to go easy.
Know that regaining self-confidence to start a new life after a painful break-up does not imply abandoning your responsibilities towards your children. Of course, you have to think about their health, education, well-being, and the like, theirs should even come before yours. Difficult, you say? It just takes a little organization like finding a babysitter to keep them in the evening for example when you go out. With your single friends, you may as well prepare a pajama party at one or the other to save money in this sense.
No longer be afraid
Either way, don’t be afraid to love again even if you’ve had a painful break in the past, because that’s the real reason that keeps you from starting your life over. Making efforts to seduce, go out to meet someone, or maintain a purely physical relationship can actually make you fall in love and make you bad. So if you don’t feel ready to go, don’t do it.
Otherwise, know that by maintaining a new romantic relationship, you take the risk of being desired and of leaving for a new episode in your love life. Then accept the fact that your new companion is not the prince charming with whom you would have liked to be. Besides, you aren’t perfect either, so try to make do with it, as long as it works. Why not after all?
