Even though it sounds like a cliché, we need to offer our partner the respect we would like to receive. Although it seems obvious, giving thanks in words can be very comforting for both spouses.
Respect in a couple’s relationship should never be taken for granted. It is won every day, it is worked with delicacy, with reciprocity. And with this genuine will of those who understand that to love is above all to know how to build.
It is curious to see that when we talk about respect, everyone knows how to define it, knows well what its principles are. But yet, few apply it correctly in everyday life.
The basic problem with respect is that everyone wants to receive it. But first, we forget to offer it to those who are in front of us.
It is as if, in a way, we are constantly saying, “Respect me and then I will respect you.”
If we talk about respect applied to couples, the subject becomes even more subtle and even more complex.
Because, we often take it for granted. ” Who loves you will respect you “, we think. But, we often adopt the opposite behavior. And this is where a large part of the problems of affective dynamics are concentrated.
Respect in a relationship is not just about not hurting yourself.
Rather, it is a psychological and emotional fabric where the goal goes far beyond. We are looking for a respect that takes care of us. Which allows us to grow and which makes us accomplices to each other.
Today in this article, we invite you to delve deeper and think about it!
1. Respect in a relationship implies intentionality
We live in a world where words sell, where people share sentences full of thoughtfulness, kindness, and harmony on social networks but which in real life and everyday life do not practice them with the same ardor…
- Kindness, like respect, if it is not demonstrated and if it is not practiced with clear intentionality, is of no use.
- In couple relationships, it is also the same thing. Love, in and of itself, is not enough for a relationship to thrive or to keep it afloat.
- We need a lot more dimensions. Together, they give full meaning to this relationship, and this commitment that is the couple.
- To do this, practice daily respect where we listen and where we are listened to. Where we show interest. Where there is reciprocity and where we are able to anticipate the real needs of the other gives shape to this respect which nourishes us and does us good.
2. Empathy: a basic pillar
No one will ever be able to demonstrate genuine respect if there is not real, close empathy, based on intuition and sincerity.
- The human brain is, above all, an entity developed thanks to sociability, to our interactions. And also thanks to this bond which allowed us to survive as a species in consolidated groups.
- Empathy, and the mirror neurons that shape it, allow us to see others as part of ourselves.
We understand what our partner is feeling without needing them to tell us in words.
It is, without a doubt, fundamental to apply this respect. Because we then know what to do, what to say, and what not to say to take care of this person, who is so important to us.
3. The importance of knowing your partner from every angle
There are people who say they know their partner inside out. When in reality, what they are doing is forcing the other person to have the same needs and tastes as they do.
- You should know that when you build a healthy and happy relationship, you don’t have to love everything and share everything.
- Respecting the passions, tastes, and beliefs of the other is fundamental, as is knowing your partner, knowing what does not please him, what makes him uncomfortable and what are the small details that make part of his personality, of his identity.
Without knowledge, there is no respect. Remember this because otherwise, and probably without realizing it, you will end up sabotaging the loved one by thinking that some things are not so important.
You will affect the needs of the other that you will “label” as a priori “not important” and you will disappoint the loved one.
When was the last time you thanked your partner?
A “Thank you for being the way you are”, a “Thank you for being by my side every day” or a “Thank you for making me happy” is a way of practicing this respect based on recognition, gratitude, on the fact of valuing the person we love, to give him all his importance.
Gratitude practiced with humility strengthens any bond, and even more that of the couple.
5. The importance of small details
Respect in the relationship is not demonstrated with great one-off acts of courage. The happiest and most lasting relationship is one that knows how to take everyday details. Where respect in the relationship is wise, stems from intuition and knows how to shine what is important.
On the other hand, we cannot forget that these details are also transmitted through good communication. Hence the advantage of taking into account the following dimensions:
- Use words of thanks and gratitude.
- Communicate without shouting, paying attention to your tone.
- Use “relational” communication. I know how you feel and I respect you for that, tell me how I can help you. Tell me what I can do to make you happy.