Falling in love with the wrong person and then suffering the harsh emotional consequences is something that has happened to almost all of us. It is one of the most painful things we can face and, unfortunately, it happens very frequently to some.
But it is not a fortuitous situation: it has a reason to be that we ignore all the red flags until we reach the point of no return. Today we will tell you why the same thing always happens to you.
5 reasons that lead to falling in love with the wrong person
It is not uncommon for you to like superficially or at first sight a person you do not know very well. In a short time, you realize that for whatever reason they are not compatible and that’s it, it is no more than a temporary disappointment.
But supposedly, to truly fall in love, people need time, coexistence, and reciprocity. So how can you still end up loving someone who is obviously not for you?
Here are the five most common reasons we fall in love with the wrong person:
1. You are following a psychological pattern
If you learned from childhood that love equates to suffering, it is very likely that you will follow and attract toxic patterns without realizing it.
For example, if you have been surrounded by authoritarian and imposing men, in adulthood you might unconsciously seek these kinds of profiles for your romantic relationships; although in reality, it is not what you want or what you need.
The same applies to codependent, violent, or abusive dynamics. Although there is a great universe of potential partners who would value and care for us, deep down we are “programmed” to fall in love with precisely those who harm us the most.
2. You idealize people too much
All human beings have flaws and virtues, but some people are too prone to forget the flaws of another when they start to like them. This leads them to fall in love quickly and thoughtlessly.
The more feelings they develop, the more and more they idealize him, to the point of convincing themselves that he is the true love of their lives. Sometimes they don’t even need the loved one to show reciprocity or even sympathy.
If this happens to you, you have not actually fallen in love with a real flesh and blood human being, but with a perfect idea that only exists in your head.
3. You seek to compensate for your deficiencies
If you feel that you are not a very attractive person, it is likely that you have a propensity to fall in love with others just because they are beautiful. Or if you’ve never been in a good financial position, purchasing power may be a factor that leads you to feel like you love someone.
In both cases, falling in love does not derive from a real affinity, but from the need to compensate for an affective or social deficiency, real or imagined.
It is very common to see, for example, that those with a very fragile ego fall in love with people who have an overly inflated ego or a certain level of fame and recognition.
4. You have very low self-esteem
When we don’t consider ourselves capable of inspiring love and respect in another being, we settle for literally anything.
So, anyone who gives us a little attention and affection, even if it is not the type of couple that deep down we would like, makes us fall madly in love since we are convinced that it is the only one who is going to love us.
Those who do not love themselves almost always fall in love with exploited people who only use them and then throw them away. The worst part is that once this happens, instead of realizing that they got rid of a toxic person, they become depressed and miserable.
5. You meet very few new people
Falling in love with the wrong person is perfect to be expected when you don’t know many people and can’t compare between different types of personalities.
If your social circle is very restricted and you are completely in love with someone who leagues do not suit you or do not correspond to you, the most likely reason is simply that your outlook is very small, not that there is something wrong with you.
If you give yourself the opportunity to travel and do different things with different people, it is highly likely that you will quickly forget that supposed “great love”.