Each couple is different. However, all lasting relationships are dictated by the same essential values: love, respect but also generosity. This last element is moreover much more essential than we think.
A healthy romantic relationship is based on simple values: love, sharing but also respect. If these three ingredients are essential, one is lacking: generosity.
As The Atlantic website reveals, in 2014, after studying married couples for six years, psychologists John and Julia Gottman did research on the elements that would make a relationship last. According to their results, kindness and generosity are the two keys to a happy and lasting marriage.
So to make our couple last, we would have to be generous. But beware, this system must obviously work in both directions.
Generosity can be learned
In 2007, a study by the Hebrew University of Jerusalem demonstrated that some people could be programmed to be more generous than others, as the Mind Body Green website reveals. This would be explained by variations in the DNA and the altruistic character of each person.
So, if you are not used to being generous with others, rest assured, it is simply that it is not innate in you. You can learn generosity, however, as you could learn a lesson. By dint of small acts, small gestures, small words, it will develop gradually. Over time, it may even become a good habit.
Developing your generosity is not an abnegation
If generosity is one of the main principles of a lasting relationship, it must, however, remain on healthy foundations. There is no point in buying each other’s affection. True generosity is recognized when we act without feeling superior, sufficient or to relieve our guilt.
When you take care of your partner, that you are generous with him, you should simply feel happy and not discomfort with your personal desires.
Generosity includes forgiveness
All couples are going through difficult times. Even if you love yourself, you can’t always agree on everything. However, these disputes are minor provided they are forgiven.
In a romantic relationship, it is useless to be spiteful, on the contrary, it is counterproductive. For small conflicts, for example, you have to forgive the person and try to solve the problem together to better move forward.
You must give your partner the benefit of the doubt
In a couple, especially if it has been going on for a long time, it is sometimes difficult to get along with the little daily troubles. However, it is essential not to doubt your partner. For example, if he does not call you at the time he said it, it is surely because he is busy at work.
If he’s late for the restaurant, maybe he had a metro problem. If he’s less affectionate with you tonight, maybe it’s been a bad day. In any case, if these little annoyances only happen once in a while, you should not get upset. Everyone has their own personal problems and the couple is made to bear them together.
Generosity in bed
You weren’t thinking about it? However, generosity is essential for fulfilling intimate life. Whether during foreplay or during love, it helps you get closer to your partner by giving him exactly what he likes.
Be careful, this obviously includes not doing things you don’t like at all, but only doing what you can to satisfy your partner. Obviously, this one will have to do the same for you, it is the key to a balanced relationship.
In any case, you must live your romantic relationship together. Everyone must make an effort so that everything goes well and this is how you will manage to move forward together.