Happy couples “sting” and test too. The difference? A lot of indulgence and respect towards each other, even in times of crisis…
respect
Respect is essential. In the previous article, I already told you about the power of words and their influences on everyone’s unconscious. The stress and fatigue of everyday life offer a thousand and one opportunity to respond impulsively. It only takes one word, one unfortunate word too many, to destroy the universe of a couple.
Happy couples renew and reaffirm, as often as possible, the respect they have for each other, even when the urge to “sting” itches. Face the issues with your partner. Express yourself as much as you want, but always have the best interests of the couple in mind.
set limits on jealousy
Jealousy pollutes relationships and couples who do not make an effort to overcome it very often end up separating. Jealousy has its source in the lack of love and esteem that one has for oneself. Most of the time, it represents the expression of a transference, the compensation for a past trauma: deceptions, lies, absent or neglectful parents… that one externalizes on the other.
The sickly jealous find themselves “stuck” with their inner child. Regardless of the proofs or promises of love, they are convinced of the veracity of the scenarios they invent and which stage, the person who “should” belong to them.
Jealousy doesn’t like to be caged and yet you have to put limits on it. It is a long term job that will require for some the intervention of a specialist. Emotional autonomy and personal interior security are the sine qua non conditions for the development and harmony of a couple. Don’t wait until it’s too late and don’t let her settle into your relationship. To free oneself from one’s jealousy is to learn to elevate one’s love and to love oneself more.
stay true to yourself
Small distortion of the truth, unfortunate forgetfulness, a real desire to spare the other… the reasons for lying are diverse and varied. We believe we are simplifying our existence when in reality we are complicating it. One lie leads to more lies and without really realizing it you become the victim. While it is true that it appeases the spirits momentarily because you have avoided a crisis of jealousy or obtained a respite in your relationship, basically a certain awareness of betrayal and sadness ends up winning.
Give yourself the “luxury” of expressing your differences and living your truth. Fight for the things that are important to you. If you are losing the other because you are just yourself, then rejoice that you have shed the weight of self-infidelity.
share a common project
Indeed, the love-friendship relationship existing between long-lasting couples draws much of its strength from the exchanges and common projects that they nurture and begin together. Create rituals, spend more time together, do couple activities. By including your couple in this perpetual dynamic of construction, you feed your bond but also the history of your couple.
Being happy in love is above all a decision, a consensus, a constant effort that one must be ready to provide. You are part of the same and only team. It is up to you to support and develop it. Do not try to strive for perfection in the other, rather open up to more tolerance and it starts with yourself. Learning to love yourself is to love the other more.
