Why Do Men Look For Flaws?

We all have flaws, however, being in a relationship with a guy who is always looking for those flaws can be a real emotional downer…

Have you ever been with a guy who seems to have doubts about everything?

I already.

He points out your flaws—physical traits and personality traits—as if you didn’t know they already existed.

We may be oblivious to certain perceptions we have of ourselves, but that’s not an excuse to be criticized all the time!

If you’re really lucky, a guy who looks for faults will spend more time reminding you of all the things that are wrong versus giving you praise (which I’m sure you deserve).

After a while, your ability to constantly point out your flaws will become a nuisance; especially coming from a guy who is far from perfect!

Clearly, it’s time to move on.

Let’s face it, everyone is guilty of finding fault in another…

regardless of whether we openly express our personal findings or keep them in our thoughts.

It’s human nature to have – at one point or another – pointed out someone’s faults.

Whether we make judgments out of spite or because we genuinely believe they will benefit from our opinions, pointing out imperfections and weaknesses can be very painful.

Also, when it becomes a necessity in a relationship, something is wrong.

Now, why do men look for flaws?

Ultimately, looking for a woman’s flaws is superficial crap – it has nothing to do with who you really are.

When men intentionally pursue things that are wrong with us – because of an argument, it’s just to hide their deeper problems.

Although most men who look for flaws tend to be attractive on the outside, the emotional issues they carry with them degrade their good looks.

Whenever they talk about their flaws in private, as if it’s the hot topic of the day, they usually do it because they’re insecure, emotionally hurt, or both.

And yes, ladies, even attractive men have insecurity issues.

However, does a partner like this really think that the perception of defects is a dropper?

No, far from it!

We just love to hear what’s wrong with us, don’t we?

Are you kidding me!

So what makes an insecure guy?

1. Not feeling like he’s “good enough” – one reason is financial problems…

He’s probably not making enough money to feel stable, and he thinks he needs a higher income to secure his financial worth.

The sad thing is that waiting to be financially defined, he is prolonging finding love.

2 . Insecurity can also be caused by comparison…

Yes, men compare themselves to other men constantly – just as we do as women – causing self-esteem issues.

Men tend to compare themselves to their parents, friends, co-workers, actors, and even their ex-boyfriends.

This lowers their self-esteem – causing major insecurity issues, especially if they grew up not feeling adequate and supported.

Who wouldn’t have insecurity issues if they were consistently comparing themselves to everyone else?

If you look hard enough, there will always be someone smarter, more successful, more attractive, in better shape, better gifted, and the list goes on and on…


Unfortunately, instead of being happy for the success of the “best” man, insecurities form from envy and jealousy.

Comparisons should be motivation, not an impediment to accepting all that you are – hey, that includes flaws.

3 . When a guy is emotionally hurt, he’ll look for flaws to protect his own heart…

If this man’s heart was broken by a loveless mother or the first girl he ever loved, he will protect his heart with a shield of armor.

His tactic is to focus on his flaws so he has a reason not to move forward in the relationship.

Damn it!

Focusing on your flaws will also justify (to him) why you don’t fully deserve his love.

If you put that together with your insecurities, this can be a very dysfunctional relationship.


Women, having a guy who always points out your flaws isn’t just emotionally draining, it’s extremely painful.

Nobody likes to think they’re never good enough.

As a woman, we can already be our own worst critics, why be in a relationship with a guy whose best complement grade always comes with a minus sign?

The thing is, nobody is perfect; however, you should never feel unappreciated or unworthy of the person you are dating.

If a guy is stubborn and refuses to see how fabulous you are, then walk away – he’ll realize how perfect you are when he meets the next one… because no woman is perfect.