When you’re dating someone new, it’s always fun and exciting at first, but when you hit the two to three-month mark, many women suddenly notice that this new guy is showing less interest, pulling away, and possibly even showing signs of dating. will become a ghost, and disappear from her life completely.
In these situations, it seems like the dynamics of their still-fresh relationship are suddenly changing from one day to the next, leaving women and more women wondering what men want and what they are thinking, with no clue how to change things and make this guy fall in love like it looked like he was about to fall in love.
When a man suddenly loses interest in this critical stage of love relationships, it is likely that one of the few common scenarios has occurred.
Here are 5 common reasons men have to ghost and disappear from a woman’s life (as well as how to make a guy fall in love with you!).
1. You Are On Different Relationship Timelines.
Understanding relationship timelines is critical when you are looking for a serious relationship. For the first 1-2 months, men are simply dating to see if they are willing to continue the relationship. Women, on the other hand, will want to turn dating into a relationship right away, especially if they feel very attracted to the guy. The 2-3 month mark is when he is likely to decide if a relationship has potential.
Women tend to drop quickly at the beginning of a relationship, but this is typically just infatuation. It’s important to remember that the people we dated, in the beginning, are the best representation of themselves. You don’t know who he really is until the sixth month. Men generally take longer to decide if they want a relationship with someone and when you don’t give them enough space to decide, they feel pressured and run. This brings me to the next point.
2. You don’t give him enough space to decide what he wants.
Based on the previous point, most men need time and space to decide what they want. Keep in mind that in months 1-3 he is still deciding whether this relationship should progress. But if a woman is pushing the ‘what are we?’ too soon or making plans about her future (without him agreeing to it), he will feel pressured to make you happy. If he feels he can’t do it, he will run. There are ways to ask for the relationship you want with a guy without chasing him.
3. He Has Lost Interest But Is Afraid To Tell You.
Some people just hate confrontation. And some guys will go out of their way to be unavailable and unwelcome, just so you can start the break-up with him. You may never be able to come to a conclusion why he left the relationship. It could be that he found someone more suitable or that the chemistry wasn’t strong enough.
4. The Passion Is No Longer There.
Passion and attraction are what bring people together, but what keeps people together is an emotional connection and shared values. But the reality is that we don’t get to emotional connection and shared values until after a few dates. As you get to know people, you may find that you and they are only suitable for the short term. I always encourage the women I coach to take the time to evaluate a Tinder match or any other potential boyfriend before starting to date him exclusively. This prevents them from investing in 3-6 month relationships that fail.
5. You’ve Gone Too Far In Your Masculine Side.
In every relationship, there is a balance of masculine and feminine energy, and this can be interchangeable. This means that a guy can handle the feminine while a woman can handle the masculine. As in dance, someone must take the lead. In the context of a relationship, when a guy stops leading, the woman may be inclined to take the slack and take the lead. Most assume this is perfectly fine and it really is… IF a guy wants to be stalked rather than stalked. When a woman and man switch roles in a relationship, it can throw the relationship dynamics into uncharted territory. Once a woman takes on this masculine role and initiates everything in a relationship, it is difficult for a man to take her place, especially if he is used to leading a relationship.
I’ve seen a lot of women freak out when they haven’t heard from a guy in a day or two, but it’s too soon to be wondering if he’s walked away.
Resist the urge to assume the role of the hunter. There are ways to receive and be pursued without playing games and being manipulative.
Here are some proactive things you can do before (or next time) a guy walks away:
- Be careful not to invest too heavily too soon.
Some women (and men) give 100% to a relationship before a relationship actually exists. They will do all the things a girlfriend or boyfriend would do and then be disappointed when they don’t reciprocate.
To avoid this, I always suggest matching the level of investment the other person has put into the relationship. It takes two to build a relationship, you don’t want to build it alone just for someone to show up.
- Give him a safe space to express himself.
We often suppress what we really want to say because we are afraid of being judged. Men often turn away from women because the thought of confrontation has filled their minds with scenes of you creating drama based on your disappointment, and no guy wants a woman to feel or act that way. They just want to be heard.
If you really want to know why a guy is keeping his distance, you need to let him know that it’s safe to express how he feels right from the start. Let him know that you’re really going to be okay and accept how he feels about the relationship as He progresses.
If you think a guy is pulling away, there are a few ways to talk to him about it:
Recognize the distance, but put the ball in your court by saying something like, “I have a lot of fun with you, but I have a feeling you might have other priorities right now. I’d love to bring the fun back, but I’ll leave it to you to decide what happens next”, or you can send something short and sassy like ” I miss the weekly dinners at my house”.
Any of these messages should give him enough of an indication for him to get in touch and explain why he’s gone.
Remember that no one can do the work for two people in a relationship.
Set boundaries around the types of behavior you will and will not accept from others. We teach others how we want to be treated by the way we treat ourselves.
It’s easy to feel powerless when you feel like the other person is running the relationship, but you have complete control over what you will and will not tolerate.
