OK, I’m completely addicted to summer. It’s time for adventures, discoveries, pleasures, student jobs, yogurt ice cream with raspberry coulis on the terrace, and BadBoys.
These fruits are actually picked in the summer. They come out of their dens to resume their summer crimes and they end up in the same bar as us, piercing their eyes to our soul. Here it is, damn it, we want it.
Badboy, seduce him, keep him, it’s here.
What is Badboy?
A BadBoy is a bad boy. (Thanks Captain Obvious.)
When we talk about BadBoy, we are referring to two types of men:
- Don Juan: it is the executioner of hearts, the cheeky of the band, the smirk (argh …), the handsome talker, the gentleman at heartbroken by a past history of which nobody knows anything, but that each one jealous . In short, it is a BadBoy, because it is lovingly dangerous.
- The thug: the bandit, the tattooed, the lover of police custody, the one who loves danger, crimes, and life a hundred an hour. Of course, with his cheek, with his love of risk-taking, he knew women, but he is not fundamentally bad with the fairer s**x. Some are even artich**ke hearts. Normal, you like the strong feeling, you like the passion.
They have one thing in common: they share the same great love and it is not us. It’s freedom, darling freedom. This is what makes us mad, it’s also what makes us crack.
The BadBoy is a wild cat.
Admittedly, it is domestic, but the efforts are often enormous for little (see not) results. So, “seriously” with a BadBoy, we forget . Bonnie and Clyde, it’s outdated (and it doesn’t end in the white party favors).
And even if we manage to pass the leash around his neck, it will be US that we will not like anymore. If we like wolves, it is not to make them poodles.
BadBoy is love, but it cannot be kept.
BadBoy requires energy.
It’s about seducing him (it’s okay), seeing him again (it gets tougher), becoming a common thread in his (hard) life, and subscribing to it (almost impossible).
With him, it is better to love the roller coaster, because if he becomes a kitten in the palm of your arms, he will become a tiger if he is in a pack . Better to hang on to the rare moments of intimacy like bubbles out of time. And it is better not to wait for the bubble to take precedence over reality.
A passion, a CDD, a relationship of lovers. But protect yourself, don’t expect him to commit, to give up his life for you. You would suffer.
How to seduce him?
You get it, seducing a BadBoy is ALWAYS a bad idea. But, when you have something in mind, common sense is the trunk. As a friend says, just because you know it’s nonsense doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.
Becoming a Badgirl is a bad plan
Unless you are naturally a BadGirl and Romeo has always known you like that, don’t bother robbing a bank to please a bad boy.
I will not lie to you, if you are too “nice”, too “accommodating” you will be eaten raw. For BadBoy, the concept of strength is important . He seems to crystallize a lot of things on this. So be strong.
But, force is not necessarily played with a knife, it is, sometimes, in the capacity to forgive, to say “no, I stop”, to laugh at more than complicated situations and not to make a personal story the many messy plans of Romeo.
Finally, to be strong is – perhaps – to find a subtle balance between preserving oneself and offering oneself to him. (Easy to say.) Being strong also means knowing how to keep precious your life, your reason, your values in the face of the imbalance of the other. Consistency will work in your favor.
In other words, don’t transform yourself for him. It is not what he expects from you.
“Patience and length of time are better than strength or rage”
Often, you want to freak out, throw his four truths in his face, or go faster. Let him promise you, that he already loves you, that he will drag you into his furious madness…
To wait for promises and proofs, to ask them of the other, is to wait for lies . Let things come, time is your best ally. It creates and solidifies links, without you having to “force”.
Note : forcing someone to lose their freedom for themselves is no longer to love them, it is to want to own them.
Focus on the good times shared, live them fully. And, moment by moment, a moment of laughter, moments of laughter, complicity, and commitment will naturally take their places.
Admittedly, there will be many disappointments, tears, lies in the meantime, the Badboy does not always know how to do things properly, but in the long term, you could wait for your goal. Unless you are fed up in the meantime and move on (which would be legitimate).
Stay the inaccessible star
Staying inaccessible to someone fleeing is the most difficult part of seduction.
- If we are as distant as him, attachment will be untied.
- If we are too close, we will be acquired, which is never good.
The ideal remains to be whole in the moments shared by two , to give authentically of oneself, to really share and to take distance in the moments of absence . Take your pain patiently, he will take the first steps, if he wants to see you. Do not harass him with texts, emails, or other.
Make your life.
The BadBoy must be a bonus in your life, the icing on the cake. If he enters the center of your concerns, you are screwed up, because you will not be at the center of his. (It will always be more urgent to do).
The BadBoy is not the man of your life . It is a passion, a challenge of the moment, a curiosity. It is a drug that is tested once or twice, but that you don’t make a habit of.
You cannot build a stable relationship with someone who is running away from the serious like the plague. But, the story can be beautiful, made of sentimental odds and ends, ups and downs, etc.
The BadBoy, we don’t change it. We do not fall in love with people to change them, it is with their complexities that we take them or stop it right away. If he wants to leave his bandit life, it belongs to HIM. You are not Mother Theresa, do not try to save her. He doesn’t want to.
The BadBoy is not at the center of our life . We have other priorities, other desires, other things that feed us. Leaving to let him cross our lives, let us feed on his love of freedom, to cultivate ours, of independence.
Basically, the Badboy, we love it, but not long.
And you, have you ever fallen in love with a BadBoy? What were the pros and cons of the relationship?