Discover the pros of manipulation in a few sentences!
It embellishes, distorts, accuses, turns every difference of opinion into a nightmare and ends up undermining our self-confidence to achieve its ends. The worst? A manipulator does this on the sly, under the guise of kindness and benevolence, to the point where you don’t always realize it. SOS manipulation, Fourchette & Bikini gives you the key phrases of the manipulator!
1.You could still have …
This is the basic principle of the manipulator: if there is a fault, it is necessarily in the other camp, in other words ours. And as much to be lucid, whatever we do, we will always be wrong. We should have known that, we should have thought of, we should have guessed that … and in our place, he would not have done like that.
2.No need to dramatize …
The manipulation expert is not an expert for nothing, and turns any situation around in no time. He is the drama queen, hence his need to divert attention by reversing the roles. Its goal? Persuade us that we place too much importance on what he asks of us.
3. You complicate everything!
Yes, he dares. He who turns the situation around and distorts the words, he dares to accuse us of complicating everything, just to muddy the waters a little more. As a result, we see it less and less clearly and it ends up winning its case, with a destructive effect on our self-confidence.
4. I say that for you …
It is well known, the manipulator is a great altruist who only has our well-being at heart. At least, as long as this one goes in its direction. In his head, it is therefore in our interest that he manipulates us, and only to help us that he crushes us. When you feel like you owe someone everything, distrust, the relationship is at best unbalanced, at worst, toxic.
5. I never said that!
The manipulator is not except for a contradiction, as long as it serves its purpose. He will therefore not hesitate to fiercely deny a sentence pronounced the day before, to invent others, or to distort the truth. And since we have no other witness than ourselves, we generally remain helpless in the face of such bad faith, he wins by KO
6. How can you do this to me?
The great trick of the manipulator is to play with our feelings. How can we dare to hurt him so much (contradict him) after everything he has done for us (manipulate us)? He plays on the sensitive chord, since we have one, unlike him. And too often it works.
7. You are too sensitive!
Do we burst into tears of anger, frustration, or sadness? No question for him to question himself, the only possible explanation is our hypersensitivity. The right parade? Disarm him by assuming that yes, we are human and therefore sensitive, and that anyway, crying has never prevented us from using our brain, we stay in our positions, thank you.
8. Don’t be so negative
Are we opposed to him? It is because we are unable to see the advantages it offers us. And once again, the manipulator goes on the attack by first making us feel guilty before pushing us to question, until we end up losing sight of the real point and agreeing to his opinion. .
9. You don’t understand what I’m telling you!
Since it is absolutely impossible (for him) to be wrong or to see us resist, the manipulator’s ultimate recourse is that of the misunderstood hero. As long as we do not agree, it is because we do not listen, that we do not understand, that we do not make an effort and / or that we flout our feelings. He is reminded that to communicate, it takes two, and that if he feels misunderstood, it is because he does not know how to express himself.
10. You are delirious …
With variant “you’re crazy” or “it’s in your head”. He is cornered, he launches into pure and simple destruction by attacking our sanity. All with a compassionate smile and a loving caress, as if he was genuinely sorry to see us fall over. The best answer? A huge burst of laughter.