Despite some popular psychology claims, men and women don’t come from different planets when it comes to relationship goals. They also don’t speak a different language when it comes to communicating their wishes and feelings. These supposed differences are nothing more than stereotypes, oversimplifying the tension between attraction and insecurity. Contrary to what you have been led to believe, women do not have all the power in the relationship, nor do they feel 100% sure of their attractiveness. Women are just as insecure and stingy as you are when trying to initiate an interaction, so how exactly should you proceed?
12 easy tips on how to talk to women
In reality, it all depends on your own goals to establish communication, the social context and the moment of life in which you find yourself. If you’re in a singles place, looking for a one-night stand and approaching a like-minded person, your interaction will be fairly straightforward and conducive to your shared goal: unconditional s**x.
If, on the contrary, you are approaching a woman with a longer-term goal in mind, that is, a relationship, your approach must be carefully prepared, as, as we all know, first impressions are extremely important to mark. the guideline. . Also, non-verbal communication is much more important than what you actually say.
1. Dress appropriately
This may seem silly, you only hang out with friends, but the truth is that women like to see men together. That doesn’t mean you should iron your suit or wear a tie when you go to a sports … but it does mean clean clothes, not patched, unless they are fashionable, not too baggy and preferably without offensive slogans. Go for classic understatements like James Dean’s jeans and leather jacket, or think of accessible vintage appeal, like John Cusack in High Fidelity.
2. Be confident
Women like men who project a safe environment. Move gracefully (awkward, though attractive, is not exactly what women are after) and act I like you belong there. If you don’t feel confident at all, as the adage goes, “fake it until you make it.” Some experts say that you should do the superman pose before a stressful event, like a job interview or talking to women, as it will really boost your confidence levels. You feel more empowered and those around you will perceive you as such.
3. Establish and maintain eye contact
When you see a woman, you may be interested, make eye contact. Although you may see more than one attractive woman in the restaurant.., a woman likes to feel like she has your undivided attention, so keep it on one woman at a time. Pay close attention to how you respond to his gaze. Does she look back at you after a few glances, does she maintain eye contact herself, initiate eye contact? These are all valuable clues to indicate your level of interest. If she stares back at you, maintains eye contact for a long time, she’s definitely interested in you, then what are you waiting for?
How to talk to women face to face for the first time
4. Keep it together
Get up, start moving and go talk to her. Most men blame their looks, their lack of money, their popularity or even their bad luck for their non-existent romantic life, but the truth is that their lack of initiative is to blame. They wait until it’s too late to make their move and then they look nervous, insecure, and, let’s face it, desperate. Stay calm, walk calmly (no strutting, please) and address the woman you chose, not the table or the group in general. And look her in the eye, regardless of her many other attributes.
5. Be courteous
You should approach this situation with courtesy, showing that your social skills are perfectly honed, as no self-respecting woman wants to be seen with a socially awkward guy. Your manners should be attractive and respectful. Your body language should convey frankness and a desire to engage in conversation, so you should not cross your arms or put your hands in your pockets. Avoid using foul language and common expressions that may sound chauvinistic or objective, such as “babe” or “pretty.”
6. What to say? What to say?
Why not start with the obvious, stating your first name and commenting on how you felt the need to come and introduce yourself after that shared look? He will probably say his name, and you should repeat it, as if you are trying to memorize it, and then keep saying that your friend, cousin, aunt, etc., has the exact same name (it doesn’t really matter who has the name, as long as I can establish a ground common). The sound of our own name, spoken by someone else, is apparently one of the sweetest sounds we can hear, so don’t be afraid to sound ridiculous.
How to have a conversation with a woman you just met
7. Where do we go from here?
They have introduced themselves and now it is time for a little chat. Although you’ve probably learned that talking about the weather is one of the safest topics, you’ll immediately label it British or boring, and if you don’t have an accent to show your British character, you’ll be instantly relegated to the second category. How about showing your interest by asking questions that further your research on the appropriateness of your selected goal? Asking if she lives or works nearby can help you establish your geographic proximity, but keep your language generic – you don’t want to sound like a stalker. If you’re still in college, keep asking about your field of study, your major, and your plans for the future. If he is working, ask him about his occupation, challenges, achievements, etc.
8. Actively listen
Active listening is the ability to listen, understand, and ask the appropriate follow-up questions. According to experts, this ability really opens up avenues of communication between people. By actively listening, you are telling him that you find what he is saying interesting. Additionally, this will also help you determine if this woman is what you are currently looking for. You may be considering a long-term commitment while she plans to join the Peace Corps.
9. Talk about yourself
If she is interested in meeting you, she will probably ask you questions. You should talk about yourself, but don’t overdo it. Although women appreciate success, bragging about your professional, personal or social success is always a no-no. Talk about what you do, but keep it simple, as you try to establish common ground with her in terms of potential responsibilities, shared activities, etc. Even if there is a noticeable gap between apparent income, don’t be patronizing or insulting. by stating or hinting at it, just to show off.
10. Be sincere
While you are in the process of getting to know her, you may be tempted to embellish the truth by making false claims about yourself or your abilities. Do not do it! Lying, even if it’s a little white lie, can jeopardize your potential relationship. Imagine, she says she likes horseback riding and you claim that it is one of her favorite activities, even implying that she may have a horse. She will be undoubtedly impressed by now, but things can quickly get worse if you can’t really tell her what type of tack you use, or the brand of your saddle.
11. make her laugh
Having a sense of humor is considered one of the most sought after characteristics in men. The ability to laugh and make others laugh with us is a personality trait that shows that you are personable, sociable, and funny. Having a sense of humor doesn’t mean you should act like you’re at a stand-up comedy open mic night, it does mean you have to be witty when the situation calls for it. You should never resort to foul language, or make fun of other people, just to show that you are funny, as you will only come across as insensitive and rude. Self-deprecating humor, on the other hand, is a good way to show that you are not insecure and that you do not take yourself too seriously, as you have the ability to laugh at yourself.
12. Be on the lookout for your non-verbal clues
Women show their interest in subtle ways, such as touching their hair, licking their lips, rubbing their neck, leaning towards the man, positioning their body in the direction of the man, touching the man’s arm, etc. Research shows these behaviors are subconscious, but men I need to be aware of these small changes. If her posture doesn’t change, she crosses her arms or turns her body away from you, just give it your all, she’s not that interested in you.
Lastly, don’t linger too long on your welcome. Unless they specifically ask you to stay longer, after 2-3 minutes of starting the conversation, you should apologize and say that you have to go back to your friends. This is the perfect time to exchange contact information and clarify that you will be calling, texting, emailing, etc. later in the week to arrange a one-on-one time.
How to talk to women online
These days you have a multitude of dating apps, some tend more towards hookups (like Tinder), others more appropriate for dating and relationships (like Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel). In Bumble, for example, women must initiate communication, so this might work for you if you really don’t know where to start. Hinge will match for you with people you are already connected to via Facebook, your friends’ friends, making it a little less impersonal, while Coffee Meets Bagel will present you with a successful combination one day at a time, and has 24 hours to decide how and what to say.
Now that you have successfully passed the first impression test, be courteous, honest, calm and collected, interesting and interested in what she has to say. The fact that they don’t meet face to face can be both a blessing and a curse. It allows you to be charming, even as you gobble down three slices of pizza, but it prevents you from picking up the non-verbal cues that clearly show that she or she is not interested.
Talking to women can seem overwhelming, but consider that the two of you are there seeking attention and possibly a relationship. Be genuine in your interactions, don’t try to impress her, and don’t lash out if rejected – there are a lot of fish in the sea. Practice makes perfect, so sooner rather than later, you will succeed.