5 reasons why a secret relationship is a pain in the neck

The meaning of a secret relationship

When two people connect but aren’t ready for the world to see, they keep it a secret. You don’t need to suddenly involve all aspects and people in your life if you are not prepared for it. That is what a secret relationship or secret love means, to bond romantically with someone and mutually decide to keep it hidden even from close friends and family.

So why is it necessary to keep such an important part of your life hidden? Because we live in a world where people are judged by other people all the time. And every action can generate unexpected comments that sometimes ruin your day. This is the reason why people often do not open up to the world completely. They are too upset about what others would think or how they would react and prefer to keep their personal life and commitments to themselves.

Other than this, maybe the two people in that relationship are not very sure about the whole situation, maybe they are just nervous or new to it. But one thing is for sure, it cannot last forever and it never ends well.

Private Relationship vs. Secret Relationship: What’s the Difference?

The main difference between the two types is the exposure. A private relationship is one in which the intimate and truly personal details about you and your partner are not shared with everyone around you, but they know you are together. This allows you to maintain a healthy relationship without worrying that it might become a gossip topic for someone or maybe even a source of fun for others. This is very acceptable and also very respectable for your partner as it does not convey the precious moments and feelings that only matter to the person you love.

Where there is true love, privacy and respect come naturally.

As for a secret relationship, it is not even certain if the two people are faithful enough to expose it to the world. This generally means that people are not sure how they feel or how they want things with someone. It is never preferable to be confused over a sensitive topic like this and to keep your partner in the dark about your feelings as well. The name of a relationship can also affect the result.

If you’re lying about being in a relationship, then it’s hard to figure out what else you’re lying about.

Is it wrong to have a secret relationship?

This depends on what people perceive with the word “wrong” in their lives. Everyone has their own mind, their own judgment. Many people let their thinking be clouded by stereotypes or simply the opinions of the masses. Similarly, many people consider a secret relationship to be good for them, while others despise it. But calling it completely wrong could be a strongly negative approach.

But yeah, it’s been proven many times that secret relationships don’t have much long-term value. These types of acts only harm the person and their emotions towards something as sweet as love and care. It always ends with one or both people getting hurt and regretting everything in the end.

5 reasons why a secret relationship is a hassle

As tempting as a secret relationship may be, the downsides always outweigh the excitement or passion that drives the whole thing. Here are some of the things to be aware of if you are getting into this:

1. Stress

We are only human and we can take so much. Keeping a random secret in our daily lives is a burden, much less an entire relationship. That is a lot of work. Love is supposed to make your life easier as you go along and make you feel happy and accompanied all the time. But the continual stress on your head of someone finding out is too much.

All that stress can lead to no good.

2. Hidden emotions

3. Distance from friends and family

In good times, things can be exciting or exciting, and it seems like your partner is all you need. But in bad times, a feeling of not trusting enough to expose the relationship develops. A person could feel all kinds of negative things about themselves in that anger impulse like, is my partner ashamed of me? Don’t they trust me enough? Is there something wrong with me?

So what is the point of a relationship, if it makes you feel bad?

Some people in your life are too important to ignore or ignore. Family and friends have your back and being in a secret relationship can solve everything. Constantly lying to people who care about you can have a long-term effect on your future life and never in a positive way. People start to disconnect from you and there is no worse feeling than this.

4. Loss of freedom

In a secret relationship, you have to plan all your actions according to your partner and you lose the freedom to do anything voluntarily. Finally, the boundaries are formed without even being known to the two people. The freedom to talk about anything with your friends, or even to express the feelings you have for that person, everything gets repressed and becomes frustrating over time.

5. Doubts

When a person has to be tied up in any situation, especially in a relationship, they tend to feel lonely. Loneliness means overthinking and when this is activated, self-esteem and confidence is lost. You start to doubt yourself and your life choices because this big decision would lead to an unhappy life at some point, sooner or later.

The effects of a secret relationship

There is a lot to worry about when you’ve been through something like this. And the worst part is that most of these concerns are related to yourself.

Become passive

Secret relationships often seem to be ignored by the people involved in them. When they don’t consider this to be a real relationship, they can’t put as much emotion into it either. This behavior becomes a part of their lives gradually and the element of care just disappears completely. People become really passive about life and everything it throws at them, good or bad.

Attitude would not be

When it comes to a long-term secret relationship, it can seem like a joke. People are convinced that when you can’t take it to a serious level, then why take something seriously? Thoughts like these develop an unserious attitude in people, not only in relationships but in other aspects of life as well.

Increased negativity

These pressing relationships can wreck your mind in many ways. Continual confusion and doubts can put you in a negative thinking state that everything in the world seems wrong. Even in future relationships, uncertainties lie in the middle and damage everything. It seems that there is no point in doing anything productive or trusting anyone.


Enclosing all those hidden feelings and emotions within you cannot be a good thing. In some cases, secret relationships have put people so self-doubting that they cannot face them later in life. When a toxic relationship like this ends, some people feel rejected and lose hope of finding love. It is difficult to recover from this.

How to end a secret relationship?

Ending a secret relationship can mean two things. One is that you want to completely let go of your partner and end the entire relationship. The other is that you update your secret to an exposed relationship. We will discuss the ways you should handle the above situation, in the following ways:

Be open

The worst thing about ending an engagement is not being entirely true about it. If you have something to say, this is the last chance you will have to do so, and it is the right thing to do. Being open also requires the right time and environment to discuss the topic. So make sure, there is no rush and always do it in person.

Discuss the reason

When a secret relationship progresses, it becomes quite apparent that it may not be going in a positive direction. All factors should be discussed by the two people and they should agree on why it should be treated this way. The correct way to end things is to be absolutely clear about what led to this situation.

Without restrictions

The main thing that builds a secret relationship is being restricted all the time and this is also the cause for ending it. This factor should be discarded when things come to an end. Both people are supposed to be free to discuss the whole thing with other people, even if it doesn’t turn out so good.


Secret or not, all relationships require a lot of commitment and hard work. A secret one is simply a new level of stress after the arousal phase has ended. I hope this article affects your mind in a positive way and that you make a good decision in such a sensitive aspect of your life. And remember, in a relationship, it is never always about you, there is another person you need to consider when making decisions in life. So all the best!