If your relationship is going through a bad time and your boyfriend is moving away from you, it is normal that you do not know how to handle the situation. The question “what to do if my boyfriend ignores me?” is very common: fighting can make things worse, chasing him might not work.
But you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we tell you what you can do to handle the situation.
What to do if my boyfriend ignores me?
Clearly, the fact that your boyfriend ignores you is not a good sign for the future of a relationship.
The attitude of ignoring the partner is often called “avoidance” or “cold dealing.” Most relationship experts point out that this attitude is one of the indicators to determine if the couple has a future. What can you do when this happens? We bring you some ideas:
1. Assess the situation
Have you been arguing a lot? Does he ignore you during fights or after a very intense argument? Or have you noticed that he ignores you when you touch on a particular topic? Worse yet: do you feel like your boyfriend is ignoring you to hurt you and make you feel insignificant?
Try to figure out the whole story before acting. If you analyze everything that happened before he took the attitude of ignoring you, you will have more elements to understand what is happening and perhaps understand what could cause this change.
You can talk to a friend or family member about your concerns. The gaze of another person can help you detect patterns of behavior and see aspects that you may have overlooked.
2. Don’t jump to catastrophic conclusions
Apply this rule in your life, not only with your boyfriend: when faced with a situation, do not anticipate the worst. This can bias you in a negative way and make a solution more difficult.
I’ll explain it to you in an example: if you’ve had a bad day, your boss treated you badly and things didn’t go the way you wanted, the only thing you want is to eat and go to sleep. That attitude has nothing to do with your boyfriend, it’s you feeling like you need a break.
That can happen to him too. If your boyfriend is legitimately exhausted after a long day dealing with other issues, maybe he’s not ignoring you and just needs to rest. Before jumping to negative conclusions, reach out and ask her what’s bothering her.
3. Rate how often they ignore you
This is a very important aspect to determine if it is worth continuing in that relationship. It is not the same that your boyfriend ignores you one night, that he goes to sleep without saying goodbye or maybe he does not want to talk after a fight, that ignoring you is a usual behavior in his life.
If he is constantly ignoring you, it is a red flag. Perhaps he does not want commitment, is unfaithful, or does not dare to end the relationship. One way to confirm your suspicions is to see if he frequently provokes arguments or makes excuses to avoid you.
4. Don’t follow him, don’t bother him, don’t write or call him
Regardless of what is the reason why he does not pay attention to you, and as difficult as it may be, it is better that you do not contact him for a while. You deserve to be cared for. If you don’t, it probably needs space, or it just doesn’t deserve your attention.
Even if it’s a fixable situation, reaching out for him when he’s ignoring you is the worst thing you can do. Not only will it make him wander further away, it will also give him the power to manipulate you.
Give him his space and let him be the one to look for you. It may be painful, but it is for the good of both of you. Harassing him with messages, calls, and pressuring him to talk to you will only make the situation worse.
5. Take time for your personal growth
When your boyfriend ignores you, it is very difficult for time to pass quickly. If you get obsessed and just spend time thinking about it, it will be even more complex. Keeping your mind busy is the best way to ward off the temptation to seek it out.
Practice yoga, take that course you’ve been wanting to do for a long time, sign up for classes to learn a new language, a dance style, or even acting.
Focusing on something else will calm you down, make time go by faster and the best thing is that it will make you grow as a person.
6. Surround yourself with people who love you
Whether it is your sister or your group of friends, it is very important that you are accompanied during the time that he ignores you and you feel alone.
In addition to providing emotional support, you can ask someone with you to “confiscate” your phone and help you avoid contacting them.
7. Take away the fear of dating other guys in the meantime
Daring to date other people can help you overcome the feeling of loneliness you feel when your boyfriend ignores you. It is not about removing one nail for another or replacing it, but it is about giving yourself the opportunity to have fun and let yourself feel admired and flattered by other men.
In addition, man is territorial by nature, and if he sees that you talk to other men, he will stop ignoring you and it is very likely that he will talk to you again.
That said, if you notice that he only pays attention to you when you have other men around, you should think about whether you really want someone who acts that way by your side.
8. After giving him time, talk to him
If your boyfriend has ignored you after a fight and you think the situation can be fixed, first give yourself some time to calm down and clear your mind. Then look to talk to him.
Remember that this conversation is to save the relationship, not to insist on an argument without solutions. You must make that clear, you can say something like this:
“If you want this relationship to continue, you are going to have to communicate more effectively with me. I understand that your way of calming yourself is by ignoring me, but there are other ways to handle it. Ignoring me makes me feel disrespected and unloved.
Approach the talk as “us versus the problem”, rather than a “you versus him” discussion, and you will probably get better results.
8. Follow the 3-day rule
There really is no excuse for ignoring a loved one for too long, in most cases.
So if he ignores you for two days, you can assume that he is clearing his mind, but if three days go by without knowing anything or receiving a message, break up with him.
A person who avoids contacting you for so long because of their pride, or whatever, doesn’t really like you.
9. If he ignores you out of malice or to manipulate you, break up with him
Suppose you have already talked to him and made it clear to him that it hurts him to ignore you, that this behavior is not correct and that he should stop doing it, but he continues to act that way.
You must understand that he has taken this attitude as a way to make you give in on some things, even if they are things that annoy you. It is not just a communication problem and bad behavior, it can be manipulated.
According to experts, this is called emotional retention and is a form of abuse. Nobody deserves that, so I recommend that if he does not change his attitude towards you, even after talking to him, you should leave him.
10. Make sure you both understand each other when you talk
If they have communication problems, they are likely to misunderstand each other when speaking and both end up with a misperception. Maybe the conversation ends and you think that he ignores you because he does not speak, but he is silent because he believes that everything is resolved
Fine-tuning communication can be a very difficult thing to accomplish. It takes time and commitment from both of you, but it is one of the pillars on which any healthy relationship rests.
To avoid misunderstandings, talk honestly, be clear, and don’t be afraid to ask the other person until you understand what they are feeling. Trust that you want to help yourself.
11. If you know you have done something wrong, apologize
The best way to make amends for a mistake is to start by accepting it. Apologize. Without humiliating yourself or feeling bad about it, talk to him, take responsibility, and offer a sincere apology. The important thing is that you let him know that you really are sorry and that you care about the relationship.
12. Try other forms of communication
Your boyfriend may be busy, distracted, and forgetting to reply to your text messages. This can make you feel like he’s ignoring you when actually texting during the day isn’t his thing.
Before concluding that he does not care about you, try to change the forms of communication that they usually have. Try texting or calling him at certain times of the day, when you know he has time to respond. If it works, then ignoring you was just a sign that I was busy.
13. Accept vulnerability
Perhaps he feels insecure about the relationship, thinks you will leave him at any time or feels that he is not loved by you. Ignoring you may be their way of reacting to that insecurity. As he fears you will leave him, he walks away to protect himself.
One way to find out if that’s the reason is to tell him how much you enjoy being with him, show him love, and how much you love him. If she lets her guard down and stops ignoring you, then take the initiative to discuss her feelings.
14. Assert yourself from the beginning
This is the most important point. Regardless of what happens to your boyfriend, or his reasons for ignoring you, you must remember that you are your priority. If his attitude hurts you, but you don’t communicate your annoyance, you allow him to make you suffer.
You have the right to express your wishes and concerns, learn to do so in a respectful but firm way.
A healthy relationship requires love, attraction, communication, and similar life goals, but also respect, consideration, and partner support. If the relationship is not balanced and one of the two feels like giving more than the other, the relationship is not going to work.
We hope these tips help you so you don’t ask yourself “what to do if my boyfriend ignores me?” Apply these ideas and always remember to worry about yourself and focus on your happiness. If he is for you, they will find a way to save the relationship.
Have you been through similar situations? We want to know how you handled the issue with your boyfriend. Tell us about your experience in the comment box and remember to share this article on your social networks.