Today, I want to help you follow the same path, accomplish yourself and develop in order to better succeed in your daily relationships.
In this article, I will discuss the beginnings of relationships, which are sensitive moments and which can turn into beautiful love stories or end quickly without anyone understanding why …
I mainly address this article to women but men are just as concerned.
The beginnings of relationships are fragile
You meet men you like. The attraction is mutual. But after a few weeks or months, your partner prefers to end the relationship.
The reason mentioned is that he can’t get attached, fall in love with you or he can’t forget his ex .
However, the relationship had started well … So you say “all the same” or ” men don’t want to get involved “, …
It’s a completely natural reflex: when something doesn’t work, we often tend to blame others.
However, if you step back, you will realize that there may be very specific reasons why these men do not want to get involved.
We make many mistakes throughout our love stories but the mistakes of the beginning have more impact.
Because the beginnings of a relationship are fragile.
What if you made a mistake at the start of your relationship?
To help you avoid the odds in this fragile moment, here are 2 mistakes to avoid at the start of the relationship.
Mistake # 1: You Are Not Yourself
Of all the mistakes, I think this is the most important: you are not yourself.
The reason is simple: you want to please or not displease the men you meet.
Wanting to please is completely natural behavior if you do it with respect. But this is not the case if you play the role of someone that you are not. This is not the case if you deny who you are to conform to the image that the other expects of you.
And many of you say the opposite of what you want, just so as not to scare him…
But you are making a short-term calculation: I want to please him. And like all short-term choices, they are often bad in the long run. You will be able to play this little game for several weeks or several months but you will rarely exceed the first year. You cannot pretend to be someone you are not for the long term.
And at some point in your relationship, you will lower your guard and show who you are and what you want in the relationship. You will want more. And it is at this precise moment that your partner will answer you that he does not have enough feelings or that he is not ready to commit.
You will feel rejected and may find yourself in a situation of emotional dependence even though this has never happened to you before.
Sometimes men even indicate from the start of the relationship that they do not want to get involved. You know it but you think you will change your mind. But this strategy does not work. It is a mistake.
My first piece of advice is therefore simple: if you want a long-term story, stop saying the opposite: “Yes, like you, I want a light story. I don’t want to take the lead. I live my life in the present without making calculations… ”. You may not say what you want but don’t say the opposite of what you want.
And don’t deny who you are to please the other. You have qualities: put them forward. You have faults: change them or accept them but do not hide them.
You are who you are and your partners must accept you as is.
Mistake 2: you want to go too fast
The second mistake at the start of a relationship is that of wanting to go too fast.
I have many thirty-something friends who cannot find love (despite my advice ). The main reason is that they put pressure very quickly on the men they meet.
They want to go fast. Too fast.
The reason, we all know it. It’s the biological clock. The desire for a child. The need to get married. The social pressure of celibacy.
But this need turns into fear: the fear of not having children, the fear of not getting married, the fear of ending up as an “old girl”, the fear of being the only girl in the family to be single then that the others are in a relationship…
And you know: we cannot live in fear, need, and urgency. What man wants a stressed and needy woman?
Put yourself in the head of a man: what attracts him? someone in need or someone who makes him want?
It is exactly the same situation for women: what attracts you? A good man in his skin and in his sneakers or a dependent man, in need?
You’ve understood everything: you can’t go on like this. You have to change your approach.
I have been in a relationship for 9 years with my partner. From the start of the relationship, I wanted a serious story and I liked it, but it took a long time to develop.
During the first year, we were two partners very close but still strangers to each other. It takes time to get to know each other and to know if we want to spend a piece of our life and have children with someone.
We moved in together after 3 years of relationships and we waited another year to make the decision to have a child together (even if we mentioned it in the first year).
My partner never put pressure on me at the start of the relationship and that’s also what I appreciated about her. Having a relationship where I don’t feel oppressed by someone I just got to know.
Because we often forget something: at the start of a relationship, and even if we have a good feeling, we don’t know each other. I repeat it because it is an important element: we think we know each other but we don’t know each other.
I’m not saying you have to wait that long to move in together or have a child. I’m saying you shouldn’t put pressure on a man you’ve known recently.
My second piece of advice is to combat this feeling of urgency that makes you unhappy. You must live your life in the present, make the right choices of partners, that is to say, choose those who want a serious story and not put pressure on them to engage in the first weeks of relationship.
I hope this article will allow you to be more successful in your early relationships.
If you have any questions, I would be happy to answer you.
Take care of yourself and see you soon.