Choosing the right person in the long term is the fundamental thing in a monogamous relationship
Television and the internet are saturated with reality shows, novels, and programs that focus on romance.
We’ve all seen the typical 4 p.m. show, in which a lucky girl has to choose from 12 potential prospects which one of them can hope to go out on a date with her.
The same happens in the novels; it’s all about romance. Of the first meetings and the butterflies in the stomach. And once he and she meet, overcome the obstacles of their love and marry, the broadcast is over.
But what is really important is exactly what happens after that. What the screens or the cinema do not show us because it is considered too boring or everyday for it to be of interest.
But let us tell you when it comes to choosing a long-term partner to have a monogamous relationship.
It is those anodyne details of daily coexistence that will make the difference between you being a happy person, or being a bitter and frustrated person because you do not like your relationship, and that you end up cheating or being deceived.
What television should show us is not the easy part. The part in which eternal love is sworn and everything ends between smiles, tears of happiness and a shower of wedding petals. But how these couples manage the two hardest things in life: lovingly tolerating each other and staying true to each other. Therefore, far from entertainment and fantasy, we are going to show you the four tricks to choose your long-term monogamous partner wisely.
1.- Do it for you
Monogamy is a very important life choice that does not suit everyone, let’s face it. Making such a momentous choice when you are not ready or not your thing can bring a lot of suffering to you and others.
Choosing to be monogamous because of social pressure, or because it is what our parents expect, or because we have been told that any other alternative is a sin, is an irresponsible decision for ourselves.
Either choice involves sacrifices. If you decide to be monogamous, you will have to sacrifice all those opportunities to be with another person that you like in order to remain faithful to only one.
If you choose not to be monogamous, surely many people will not want to establish a relationship with you, because they are looking for monogamy.
Perhaps in the end we all decide on monogamy, because it is the safest option on an emotional level. But before doing so, we must be sure that we want to admit that enormous responsibility to another person.
2.-Choose your partner very carefully
You may like the person a lot. Have a great time when you are together. Make you laugh …
But that is not enough to determine that such a person is an appropriate choice for a long-term stable and monogamous partner. Life goals must be similar in many ways.
In the first place, they must be coincident in time and geographical location. There is nothing more difficult than having a long distance monogamous relationship.
Second, you have to take into account the values of the other person and their life ideologies. If you don’t, the only monogamist in the relationship may end up being you.
Third, your habits. Monogamy usually ends in everyday living, or at least it tends to be one of your most common goals. If the person in question has habits that you cannot tolerate, or you feel that they are not fulfilling you physically, intellectually, or emotionally, I am afraid to tell you that you may be clandestinely searching for someone else when you least realize it.
3.- Be yourself and look for what you really want
One of the fastest ways for a monogamous relationship to crash with the infidelity of one of its members is for them to try to be something they are not, to “please” the couple.
When we do this, the only thing we achieve is to increase the chances of ending up cheating or cheating with someone who does give us the feeling of freedom.
In fact, that is one of the most frequent arguments that unfaithful people give. That they feel themselves with the other person. That they feel “free”. And obviously, when this happens, there is already a very strong bond and commitment to the original partner.
Same that in principle should not have been formed if there were not enough common interests. And that it will hurt a lot to break.
Many people establish monogamous relationships with inappropriate partners for fear of being left alone or not finding anything better. But all they are accomplishing is filling the world with unnecessary infidelity and drama.
So, before embarking on something like this, think about it with a cool head. If things did not turn out as you expected, it is always better to finish than to cheat.