You have lived together for several years and you spin perfect love. But on a daily basis, certain seemingly innocuous attitudes can affect the good balance of your relationship. Here are some examples of habits to avoid within your relationship.
Difficult to keep all the romance within a couple when the relationship has been going on for a while. And when you live under the same roof, small habits quickly tend to take over. Of course, there is good in being able to let go of our little faults in front of our partner. But according to American experts, certain habits can affect the well-being of your couple.
1- Taking the lead for trivialities
When you live together, nothing more annoying than seeing your little personal rituals turned upside down. Indeed, we all have our little neuroses. Some people cannot stand for shoes lying around in the hall, while others cannot leave their apartment in the morning if the bed has not been made and trimmed to the nearest centimeter. And unless your loved one is your true copy, some of his fads will probably come to your eyes, like his messy side or on the contrary too orderly (not to say manic).
However, this kind of annoyance in everyday life can sometimes generate real conflicts in the long run. For romantic relations expert Audrey Hope, the best thing to do so that these little disagreements do not encroach on the well-being of the couple is simply to drop a little ballast. “Arguing within a couple is completely normal and sometimes healthy. But these types of quarrels are rarely constructive and can be avoided,” explains the expert to Bustle.
2- Stay glued to your phone
Do not hesitate to draw your phone when you are at a romantic restaurant to consult the latest tweets or publish a photo on Instagram of the pretty dish that we have just served you? Beware. Because it is very likely that your partner will experience it badly, even if he does not tell you anything at the time. This nasty habit even has a name: phubbing (a contraction of the words “telephone” and “snobber” in English).
Created in 2013 by an Australian, the term describes the exasperating mania that people have of looking at their phones while talking to them. Recently, researchers from Baylor University (United States) James Roberts and Meredith David became interested in the phenomenon by carrying out a study on 450 volunteers. After asking them a series of questions, they found that 46.3% of them were often “phubbed” by their partner. Among them, 22.6% admitted that this nasty habit had caused real problems within their couple.
3- Zap the morning kiss
In the morning, it’s often a race. A shower, coffee drunk in fourth gear, an outfit to choose and then put on, and you’re already running so as not to arrive late for work. Except that in all this, you didn’t even bother to kiss your partner or to wish him a good day. No problem, you will catch up this evening. But in the long term this kind of “forgetfulness” can alter the bond between your couple, warns the romantic relations coach Fila Antwine.
“Kissing is an act of connection that stimulates the brain and the body. Even if you don’t make love for a few days, your kisses maintain romance and the bond that unites you. Remember to kiss your partner each day, at least to say hello and goodbye. This gesture will allow you to connect physically and emotionally for the day, “explains the expert to Bustle.
4- Do everything together
Contrary to what one could sometimes suppose, to do everything together is not necessarily very good for the balance of a couple. “Demanding constant attention from your partner, not having interests outside of your relationship, or showing extreme jealousy are toxic attitudes for your relationship,” warns psychotherapist Traci Stein. If you do not do many activities without your partner, try to remedy this by adjusting your schedule with times of the week that you will devote solely to yourself. A weekly outing with your friends or a registration for a course (painting, theater, cooking, gym) can, for example, be good alternatives.
5- Complaining too much about your work
Every night when you get home, you have the right to endless complaints from your partner who no longer feels happy at work. While it is essential for you and your partner to support each other and to listen attentively, however, make sure that your conversations do not only revolve around this subject. Otherwise, your exchanges may quickly take an unpleasant turn. According to Dr. Stain, this could even become a source of stress and tension within the couple.
“You can discuss your work problems together, but try to limit yourself to 20 minutes a day. In this way, you will be able to focus more on the pleasant moments spent as a couple,” advises the psychotherapist. In addition, disconnecting from work and focusing on more pleasant aspects of your life can certainly help you better understand the worries you encounter in your professional life.