Is it a challenge for you to be a happy person in love? Do you ever relive the same disappointing scenarios?
It is a pleasure to offer you 7 solutions to help you experience this much-desired happiness. It is so legitimate to want to succeed in being well as a couple or to want a relationship that fulfills you. But how to do it?
As a speaker, trainer, author in health, emotional relationships, happiness, well-being at work and self-realization for 25 years, I enjoy sharing the tools learned with you. We all dream of happiness, of flourishing, but deep wounds often prevent this ideal.
What is really encouraging is that by adding new resources, by getting help if necessary, we can do it and I speak to you from experience. I’ve been there before. I understand you.
Here are these 7 secrets so important for being in love.
1. Does one of the two denigrate the other or both do it?
I often see people not daring to take their place, being afraid of displeasing and accepting to be demeaned.
For others, the need to control, to prey on the other becomes almost compulsive. In my opinion, it is impossible to be able to create a climate of confidence, joy, well-being, and love in such a relational dynamic. If the ego takes over and absolutely wants to be right, you get lost. Love is not a game of power, it is a respectful and caring evolution. Same thing if the fear of rejection, the feeling of abandonment is there. It is like the little girl or the little boy who replayed his insecurities as a child.
These reactions are like codes at the bottom of the unconscious and always reproduce the same results, namely discomfort, sadness, disappointment for example.
These are programs that have been muted since a very young age. These perceptions are like beliefs, attitudes frozen in time and which continue to manifest in adulthood.
If as a child you have lacked love or have perceived situations as being disappointing in this sense, this feeling of lack is likely to repeat itself and you can even attract it unwittingly. A bit as if this programming is recorded and this is what tends to occur too often.
As an adult, the belief related to this lack maybe “I don’t deserve to be loved.” What will happen at that time? You may subconsciously attract people who are incapable of loving you, believing you to be an undeserving person.
So, to come back to the bashing, it has its source in these patterns of childhood that have crystallized over the years. They are comparable to masks, to survival mechanisms. They are no longer useful because they destroy happiness and healthy communication. They invite us to transform them to feel free within. When we learn to hear their messages, we emerge by regaining our personal power proudly and with joy.
NLP (neurolinguistic programming) is also very powerful in bringing new resources to the unconscious and can create both happy and fast new results in your life. I have untied so many things myself with this approach.
It was so conclusive for all that I lived in anxiety, discomfort, etc., that I then followed my training as a Master practitioner in NLP to help the greatest number of people.
It allows you to put an end to old thought structures, limiting beliefs and create a life that finally resembles us. We have the right to be disloyal to our past and to allow ourselves to live in harmony, with joy, and with love.
I regularly see him in private coaching how impressive the transformations are in one hour. We stay in the present and we crop the perceptions and it’s fun. Who said you had to cry to get better …
Stop denigrating yourself, denigrating the other, it allows you to move forward more freely when you decide that life will be better. It means putting an end to gloomy programming and using that time to create love and happiness.
2. Love of self and of the other
To be successful as a couple, it is important to have good self-esteem, respect, and love for you. Avoid any guilt if you feel that this is not quite it yet.
The good news is that there are so many resources available today to emerge wonderfully. If you lack love and respect for yourself, you risk being let down, forgetting yourself, being sad, especially lacking in energy.
It is not very motivating to feel small, not to perceive yourself up to par, to keep such thoughts towards yourself. There is a diamond that shines in you. It is important to polish it with gentleness, kindness, and love.
Of course, such limitations are a game of perception. Beliefs about oneself, the ego, limiting thought structures, difficult emotions, are like characters who live in us and who do not pay their rent and who we host all the same.
Have fun thanking them for protecting you in their own way, dare to observe them, and try to find real happy solutions and give them leave permanently with a goodbye.
By giving yourself lots of kindness, gentleness, love as you would for a little baby, your children, you are transforming many things. Your influence also changes. You favor having someone by your side who has the same influence in your life.
If you are single, you are preparing yourself for happiness. If you are in a relationship, it is important that the two speak the same language in terms of healthy communication, that the two really love each other. If not, is it attachment or the fear of being alone?
Ask yourself, how happy is your relationship? It’s a good way to assess your relationship.
3. Listening and healthy communication
Does everyone really feel heard in the relationship? Some hear the other person’s point of view and are already preparing an answer, an argument. Is it constructive? Is it healthy communication? Not really, no.
It is still the unconscious ego mechanisms that may want to dominate. Listening shows interest in the reality of the other, for their emotions, their history, their joys, their sorrows, their challenges. When the two go in this direction gently and with respect, it creates such a bond and great well-being.
Still unconsciously, many seek a person who resembles their father or mother as a life partner. It is not an absolute but it is frequent. It is basically their model of love, healthy or not. So when we talk about self-empowerment, we certainly cannot change the past. You cannot change others. We also do not have the right to entrust a mandate to anyone to make us happy.
To be a happy person in love, it is essential to go and see what is going on in you. We are the common denominator of everything we live. If there are feelings of betrayal, injustice, humiliation, rejection or abandonment, the other person does not have to pay the price. We note that relationships are the best ground to bring out these five feelings that harm happiness. It is a precious asset to learn to recognize them. We can then use life scenarios to become the best version of oneself, see what it brings out in oneself, what has reacted, and get help when needed.
5. Intimate complicity
How is the relationship with your body? Do you enjoy making love or not? Are you cut off from your emotions, your feelings? Are you able to communicate your needs, your resistances, to accommodate them together?
If one of the two needs to have physical intercourse regularly and the other runs away, find reasons not to do so, it could go wrong over time. We cannot deny this so healthy desire and source of self-expression, this form of demonstration of love, of tenderness.
There too, it takes help if necessary to better understand yourself when such blockages can be there. Welcoming lovers in this precious space is one of the great joys of life. Authorizing yourself to access it and rediscover yourself is already a step further.
6. The joy of life and laughter
Nothing is more annoying than a monotonous relationship. What do you do over the days to become a person who creates joy, laughter, well-being?
No need to wait for the other to make us happy or happy. It does not work. We learn to increase well-being in ourselves, the other does the same and we share this influence. There it is a winner. Having fun, laughing as a couple creates such a bond.
7. Balance of life, quality time
Are you taking enough quality time to nurture the relationship? There are work, children, everyday things that monopolize our days. What do you do each week to make room exclusively for your couple? I know relatives who devote themselves to Friday evenings every week. They sleep the children, have a small meal for lovers and have a sweet romantic evening. To create magic, complicity, is to choose that it is so and to take action.
In light of all this, are you tired of repeating the same painful scenarios, if that’s the case? Do you ever find yourself not knowing what to do to really live the relationship of your dreams?
Your relationship is going well, but you want to add elements of creativity to it for even more magic?
Trust also, if you are going through disappointing moments. It is possible to be a happy person in love when you now dare to choose yourself and add new resources. All alone, we no longer see things enough in perspective and we advance more slowly.
Adding new tools, finally having simple, effective and accessible solutions, it allows us to better understand ourselves, to feel good, to better see where we are going, to listen to each other so that life tastes good.