8 unspoken golden rules of a flirting relationship

The true definition of a flirting relationship

Flirting has been around for a while. Everyone at some point has flirted without consciously knowing it. For some people, it comes naturally and for others, they really have to work at it. What is flirting exactly?

Flirting is a fun way to meet someone. Have you met someone in the park, at a bar, or on the subway that you found attractive and wanted to talk to them and see if there is more to it than just good looks? Well, that’s what flirting is for, it’s part of our natural instinct that helps us in the process of “kissing frogs until we find our prince.”

That woman could be the meaning of a flirting relationship and we do it on a regular basis, no matter if we are already in a relationship. Flirting with someone doesn’t mean we want to start something there, most of the time it’s fun, right?

Flirting is a way to find our life partner, you must be able to enjoy it and have fun with it. There is some science behind what flirting is and why we do it. Have a look.

Relax … it’s natural

We flirt a bit, whether we realize it or not. Even if you are in a committed relationship and you don’t want to flirt, well, you already do. Don’t be ashamed of it, it’s natural.

It’s not just a wink, we’ve evolved the way we flirt

Maybe that’s how it was done in the past, but now we have a more subtle way of doing it. For men, they tend to puff out their chests when talking to someone they find attractive. Have you noticed this? Pay attention next time, you will see.

For women, it’s all about the hips. When you walk past someone you find attractive, your hips may start to sway more than normal, that’s where your flirting is.

We all (by gender) flirt the same way

In a study conducted by a psychologist (T. Perper) and an anthropologist (D. Givens), the body language of women and men in a bar while flirting was studied.

They concluded that most women have the same body language when interacting with someone they find attractive: playing with hair, lots of smiles and laughter, glances, and swinging their hips. The same happened when they focus the study on men, they all have the same behavior while flirting with women they find attractive: arching the back to expose the chest, sitting with the legs spread, talking loudly.

There is momentary damage to brain cells when flirting

That sounds good. According to a study by Antonio Damaso, MD, when we see someone we find attractive, our brain goes into a frenzy that mimics a person’s brain with some type of brain cell damage. Our rational thinking walks out the door and we cannot make coherent decisions. But don’t worry ladies and gentlemen, that’s only temporary. Thank God!

So what have we learned so far about a flirting relationship? Which is fun, innocent, and could be the first step in a lasting relationship.

Now we are going to talk about some rules of a flirting relationship.

8 rules of a flirting relationship

While there is no guide to flirting, there are some general rules of thumb that you should follow. It could be something like the “do’s and don’ts” of a flirting relationship. But remember that at the end of the day, you should do what is comfortable and natural for you, because maybe that person could become the love of your life.

Take a look at these 8 rules.

1. Eye contact is basic, just don’t look

A glance in his direction is a must, but it shouldn’t last too long, just long enough for him to know you’re interested. Don’t look at him, that might put him off.

2. When choosing what to say, keep it simple

You’ve gained his attention, so he’s coming to talk to you, what to say ?! Keep the conversation simple and plain instead of trying to make a funny or witty comment, it could backfire and you don’t want that.

3. Leave him wanting to know more about you

In the middle of the conversation, joke around a bit, just be subtle about it so you can keep him intrigued and interested. That works wonders, give it a try.

4. Humor is always appreciated

Humor, when shared, is appreciated and functions as a bridge of understanding. It’s no secret that men like women to laugh at their jokes (we also like it when they laugh at our jokes). It is a good way to know if it clicks.

5. You can be a little touchy

Be subtle about it, like a gentle touch on the arm or hand. Guys appreciate that

6. Spontaneity is greatly appreciated

If you are able to do spontaneous things, you will be a success and you will make an impact on him. You can fake them too, but if you get caught it could definitely backfire on you.

7. Be cool, don’t act desperate

When flirting, you don’t want to appear desperate, so don’t overdo it. If he flirts back, great! but if you don’t, then someone else will click with you.

8. Playing while flirting is not recommended

We establish that flirting is fun, but be careful not to turn it into a game, someone could get hurt, and that someone could be you.

Is it healthy to flirt with others during a relationship?

If you are in a committed relationship, why would you want to flirt with someone else? Well, because, as we said before, flirting is fun and innocent and a natural thing if it’s part of your personality. That said, flirting with others while in a relationship is okay and healthy.

What?! you can exclaim. Well, being in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you go blind instantly, does it? You could still appreciate beauty. Flirting is not the same as cheating, it doesn’t mean that you are going to ask for her number or that you are going out with that other person you are flirting with.

There is a fine line between flirting and cheating, so always remember to stay within the bounds of flirting and you should discuss it with your OS (if you think it could be a problem). Because flirting doesn’t mean that you’re unhappy with your relationship, it’s just fun.

Just a few more things on the subject. Flirting with others can boost your confidence, knowing that others find you attractive can definitely make you feel attractive in your relationship. And finally, just because you are in a committed relationship does not mean that the flirting between the two of you should end, on the contrary. So next time you go out, hang out with him, that will keep things fun, exciting, and healthy.

A healthy flirting relationship with your girlfriend

Guys, you should definitely flirt with your girlfriends if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. Ladies, a reminder is required from time to time, many couples do not flirt with their partners once the “honeymoon phase” is over. They get comfortable and they settle in and they forget that joy that brought them together in the first place.

So don’t let this happen to you, we will give you some reasons not to let the flirty and fun side of things go to waste.

1. it’s fun

Guys flirting isn’t a chore, it’s fun. A good flirtation with your girlfriend like saying something attractive or witty could put a smile on her face.

2. It is a spark ignite

Do you remember those early days when you flirted a lot? Well, keep doing it so that the spark between the two of you stays alive.

3. It’s a reminder that both are worth it.

Flirting will make both of you feel good. What could be better than getting a confidence boost from your partner? It is never a bad thing.

Have an online flirting relationship

Not comfortable flirting face to face? Don’t worry, technology has your back, you can have a flirting relationship online. Does that sound like something you want to try? Just remember that the concept is the same, flirting should be fun, exciting, and innocent.

Since during this type of flirting you will be talking or sending messages through a device (computer, smartphone, tablet) you will not be able to use your body language to let him know that you are interested, you will have to be creative. Remember to be subtle with your words, it could be the difference between getting their interest or getting blocked.

If you want to try flirting online and get good at it, here are some tips.

1. Write your messages the way you speak

You are not emailing a colleague, so relax. Write your thoughts as if you were saying them to the person in front of you.

2. Don’t use pick up lines

These are the worst! Skip them.

3. You need to set limits

An online flirting relationship can get into spooky territory if you don’t set boundaries. If the conversation makes you feel uncomfortable say so, if it does not improve you have the option to end it and/or block it.

4. Keep some mystery

Don’t reveal too much too soon, your profile has information that should be enough for those first few messages. Keep the conversation fun and upbeat, it will keep him wondering.


A flirting relationship is a fun, exciting, and innocent way to meet new people, so you should give it a try every now and then because maybe one of them turns out to be “the one”, just remember to follow the rules.

If you’ve found “the one,” keep things exciting and fun by keeping the flirting alive!