Top secret…
In a couple, it is fashionable for everyone to have their own little secret garden … Yes, but if you stole the key to Jules’ garden and went for a walk on his flowerbeds, what you might just find out …?
The number of women he slept with
And besides, it does well to hide it from you! Because if this number is too low, you will say to yourself “oops, there must be a hidden defect somewhere, that sucks”. And if it’s too high, you’re going to be like “OMG what’s the fuck?!?” “. What if the best solution is to ask nothing, or pretend to believe him when he tells you the exact number you want to hear?
That he always sees Sarah… his ex
You’ve already taught him a lesson 10,000 times: exes are like Moonboots in summer, they have to stay in the closet, period. That is perhaps why he prefers to hide it from you then, even if between them, there is nothing more than a healthy friendship today. And incidentally also because it would annoy him so much that you see your ex again! Trickster …
That he intends to ask you in marriage
Because in vain you tell him that 1. you hate surprises and that 2. marriage is an archaic and gnan-gnan institution, he knows very well that when he gives you a pretty ring with a knee by earth, it will be one of the happiest days of your life …
His very special way of cleaning
Because in reality, when you are scrubbing the tub and he has to sweep the living room, he throws all the dust he finds under the carpet because he is too lazy to go get the brush. But hey, beware of him the day you lift this famous carpet …
His Meetic profile still active
He had registered before meeting you, but since you are together he has not had 5 minutes to unsubscribe … And then when he gets bored from time to time, he happens to go look at the profiles of women who are interested in him. Well, a little tour in its navigation history is essential …
That in fact, he is jealous
For a guy, being jealous is like being emotional or sensitive: it’s an admission of weakness. So when you tell him that your new colleague Simon is super-nice and that he invited you over for a drink after work and that he replies that it’s “perfect” with a big smile, there has a good chance that his heart rate has dropped from single to double …
That “Marc-Antoine” is a first name he doesn’t like at all
But he knows for a fact that even if you are not pregnant at all and you don’t want a child right now, the mere fact of opposing this imaginary child’s name will put you in a mad rage. …
That it’s been 5 minutes since he listened to you tell us why Cécile is a real bitch
But as he regularly nods his head, he makes little “hmm hmm”, “serious? “,” You’re right “,” no, but serious “, you have only seen fire there yet. But in reality, he’s playing Candy Crush the guy!
No, your golden sweater with a zebra head has not disappeared …
In fact, as he found it just plain hideous, he stashed it under the living room rug (along with the dust he never cleans and has been sitting there for ages) hoping that one day you would forget about it.
Morality: if he does not want to be captured, he had better vacuum the carpet in the living room rapido!
