Your childhood and adolescence were lulled by the sweet idea that you had of Prince Charming.
You knew it, your future husband would be tall, blond, smiling, and charismatic – strangely, his physique would be quite similar to that of Brad Pitt.
He would, therefore, be a wealthy banker, but would also have affinities with art and nature, and would share your passion for horses and the great classics of Hollywood cinema.
Only, even if it is sometimes hard to accept, you have grown up. And the Brad Pitt in horse boots still hasn’t shown up. Which logically leads you to ask yourself: does the ideal man exist?
Stop setting limits
Wanting to find the man who will fit perfectly into your preconceived mold is, if not immature, quite dangerous. Generally speaking, comparison in love is the best way to make you an eternal dissatisfied.
Is your new flirt less attentive than your old Jules, and poorer than the one you dreamed of? And why simply not give chance to happiness, or at least to this poor boy who is waiting to prove himself? Expand the scope of your research, your meetings, and break down all these barriers!
After all, in love what is good is surprise, discovery, right?
Banish fixed ideas
If you have seen the movie Modern Love, you will surely see where I am coming from.
One of the heroines whose male ideal is very precisely defined meets the rare pearl, the man who corresponds in all points to the portrait which she tirelessly detailed to her friends. Lucky?
Not so much because she realizes that everything is so perfect, with no real surprises, that she can’t fall in love. Complicated? Not at all; his reaction is glaring with the truth.
If you haven’t tried, you may not know.
The qualities you dreamed of for your man could easily tire you, and particularities that you would have qualified as faults or that you had not looked for could prove to be full of charm.
No longer take the risk of restricting yourself to a single type of man only to discover, once you have found him – if you find him – that your whole basic schema was to be reviewed, and that what seemed to you a quality turns out to be simply unbearable in everyday life. You can have preferences, it’s human, but know how to see beyond.
Relationships that evolve
Another point not to be overlooked: a relationship, from the moment it acquires importance, evolves those who formed it.
Inevitably. Do not take this truth for permission to indulge in one of the favorite hobbies of the fairer s**x, male shuffling.
At very low doses, men like to be given a makeover, to be tried to give them new habits, new passions. But I insist: at a very low dose.
When I speak of evolution, I mean by this natural change. Your man will gradually adapt to your desires, with the sole aim of making you happy. And you will do the same, for the same reasons.
So if at the beginning some details get stuck, if some traits of her personality upset you, stay patient: by dint of complicity, discussion, your love story will become as perfect as in your dreams.
The ideal man does not exist…
The ideal relationship if! This is the key to the problem.
Stop constraining yourself to a model of prince charming, when so many combinations are possible to create osmosis! Some will seem perfect but the spark will not arise between you, while others, a priori far from your ideals, turn out to be exactly what you needed.
Remember these sentences that you wrote at school on the benches of the court:
“A + M = love”. The most important in this equation, you will understand, is the + sign, because it is the union, and only it, which guarantees perfection.
This theory is all the more optimistic since it is not restrictive. We are talking about the ideal man, the only one, who can be hard to find on this big planet. But between your “+” and your “= love”, there are so many possible solutions!
In this world, there is not just one man for you, there are millions.
Some look like Brad Pitt, others look like Johnny Depp, others have their own charm. Some like horse riding, others like reading or swimming.
But all have one thing in common: they deserve your attention. No longer look for the ideal man, simply seek love.