When we meet someone and want to get to know them more in depth, we want to make a good impression on them. This sometimes causes us not to act naturally.
While the idea of being different may tempt you to interest someone you like, all you get will be fleeting if you stop being yourself. You don’t have to stop being yourself to please someone
Don’t lose your identity, don’t be fooled. If you do, you will inevitably tear yourself down.
However, by adopting this attitude you are lying to yourself and to the person in front of you. You will meet his expectations with lies, and the things that will please him in you, will in reality be nothing but a comedy …
Never stop being yourself or you will end up in fake love.
The magic of pleasing
The beginnings of a relationship are magical. Everything seems to flow naturally in a mystical way, without too much effort. But over time, it all fades away. Suddenly you have to put in the effort for things that we didn’t have to do before.
Maybe you come to this because you have become the other person’s ideal. You wanted to affirm the expectations that the other had from you. This, sooner or later, had to end.
Not only do you fall in love with someone who expects you to adapt to their tastes, but you also try to please the other by becoming what they want.
Where has your authenticity gone? What happened to your “me”? You tried to cover it up, all you could, to submerge yourself in false love.
All of those connections you made with the other person were wrong. Your fear of not pleasing him, that your flaws scare him away, has caused you to act like you are not.
This magic of the beginning will not go away because the way you started your relationship was not the most sincere or the fairest.
The importance of being assertive
From the first moment spent with the person we like, we must show our tastes, our interests and show our true character.
We have no reason to hide what we don’t like, because in time we will stop doing it and our partner does not understand. He did not know it!
Let’s give a simple example. Imagine that the person you are with is smoking. She always has, and you never expressed any disagreement with her doing it in the car or at your house.
But one day it bothers you a lot. You get angry, yell at him, and blame him for not seeing that you don’t like it. His response will undoubtedly be “I didn’t think you would mind, you never complained”.
We could give many other similar examples which will only accentuate the fact that we are too little assertive.
We don’t realize that in our desire to please we are deceiving.
Problems arise when you start to be yourself
Everything is fine until you start to be yourself.
The mask you were wearing cannot last very long. This is when conflicts arise. The connection that exists between you and your partner is now altered. You are now assertive, but it is too late.
We don’t like some sides of our partner, but the same happens to their side. We start to complain about things that didn’t bother us before, or so we thought.
Disputes, anger, and conflicts that do not lead us to any understanding are present and there is no going back.
All of this wears you out. You think you no longer love your partner, that the love has faded. But you don’t realize that it is all the product of a false love that you both created.
Don’t stop being yourself although you may be tempted to do so. It’s hard to be aware of the way we act in the beginning, but we have to make the effort so that we don’t end up frustrated, hurt, and disappointed.
Don’t be afraid to be genuine. The one who falls in love with you must be with the “real” person that you are and not with the role model you have chosen to adopt to be interested in you.
If you can’t be who you are next to the person you love from the start, it’s not worth staying with them.
Don’t stop being yourself and you’ll have the relationship you’ve always wanted.
