If you are planning to start sharing Netflix Fridays and chilling with a handsome boy, in this article we explain how to find a boyfriend without losing your peace of mind in the process and without going “kissing toads” before meeting Prince Charming.
Don’t despair and don’t give up. It is easier than you think. You just have to follow these 10 strategies to get a boyfriend.
1. Be a confident woman and show it in every interaction with the guy you like
You are a complete orange. A woman who doesn’t “need” a boyfriend or relationship to be happy. It is important that before figuring out how to get a boyfriend, you are comfortable and happy with yourself.
There is nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend and deciding that you do want one, either. But it is not about looking for someone to “complete” you. A boyfriend does not solve your emotional problems. In fact, if you don’t solve them sooner, more likely, emotional problems will ruin the new relationship.
So you have to get to work by and for yourself. Surely there are a lot of activities, goals, and dreams that you have postponed for one reason or another and that is exactly where you have to start.
You wonder what the hell that has to do with how to get a boyfriend. Well, it turns out that any independent, autonomous and successful person is much more attractive to others.
To reach your full orange potential, it is important that:
a) You project security in yourself
There is a saying in English that says “ fake it until you make it” If you don’t feel like the most beautiful and empowered woman in the world right now, at least act like you are.
With that simple change in attitude, the rest of the people around you will start to think of you in a more positive way. That, eventually, will make you look at yourself with confidence and project more confidence.
b) Put all your energy into reaching your personal goals
Paradoxically, to get a boyfriend you have to stop trying to get a boyfriend. It sounds counterintuitive, but it is real.
If you are putting a good part of your energy into finding a partner, immediately your prospects will think that you have nothing better to do and you will seem a much less interesting woman.
If, on the other hand, you forget about it and begin to focus all that energy on achieving your personal goals, others will realize that you are someone with an interesting life and good prospects for success. That will bring them closer to you naturally and inevitably.
2. Socialize in the places where the type of man you like is.
Maybe looking for a stable partner at the disco or bar is not the most appropriate option. The question of how to get a boyfriend often fails not because there is something wrong with you, but because you are not looking in the right places.
Typically, men go to nightclubs and parties looking to entertain themselves, relax and, if lucky, get a one-night stand. But they are hardly looking for potential dating relationships.
So if you try to flirt in these places, chances are that you and the guys you like have completely different expectations. This can be quite dangerous because what for you is the possible start of something, for them it is just a flirt more than a while.
We’re not saying stop going out for fun on weekend nights. But if you want to find love, you may want to explore different places. Here are some examples:
a) Attend an art or cooking class
Join a beginner’s course for something you’ve always been curious to do. Whether it’s learning oil painting, web programming, or a book club. Make sure they are activities that can also attract the attention of men of about your age.
b) Go to the gym
Let’s face it: people go to exercise at the gym, but many are also more than open to flirting. Flirting with a guy at the gym has the advantage that at least they have a common interest in leading a healthy life. Also, if both are constant, they will be seen quite often.
c) Be a volunteer
Do you want a careful, sensitive, and conscientious boyfriend? So, look for him in volunteer activity and, incidentally, do your bit to make this world a better place.
These are just three examples and, in the end, the ideal place to find a boyfriend depends on your interests and expectations. But surely you are already thinking of one.
3. Use social media to meet guys
Fortunately, we live in an age where dating sites and apps like Instagram, Match.com, and Tinder abound. Even Facebook opened a space for dating, called Facebook Dating.
Technology helps you a lot to find people close to you, with similar interests and who are also probing a possible relationship. Why miss out on the opportunity?
However, it is important that you consider that many people use these apps to look for casual dates, more than stable partners. Therefore, it is convenient that you specify that you are not looking for something temporary, but a full-fledged courtship.
This will primarily attract guys who actually want the same thing. But, be careful, because there will be those who try to deceive you and, deep down, just want a physical encounter.
Pay attention to the signs. For example, if they get very “loving” early on, don’t care to get to know you well, or insist on having physical intercourse too soon, they are probably not looking for a relationship.
4. Learn to flirt
The dating and romance process has to do with an intricate exchange of signals with which both parties indirectly tell each other that they like each other.
Everything would be easier if we could just reach out to the guy we like and tell him directly, but unfortunately, things don’t work out that way. If you want to know how to get a boyfriend, you must learn to play the game of seduction.
Flirting has some important rules. Learn to follow them and you will be able to attract the attention of any man you propose to yourself:
a) Never be too obvious
Men like challenges. So don’t show him right off the bat that you love it. In fact, a boy prefers a girl who is not so attractive, but who does a little begging, than a more beautiful one who makes “everything easy” for him.
b) Use reverse psychology
“I swear to you that it is not convenient for you to go out with me” and “I am not looking for a serious relationship” are phrases that you might never say to the boy you want to be your boyfriend. But men are stubborn by nature.
Tell them what they can’t have and even if they weren’t interested before, just believing it’s out of their reach will make them crazy to get it.
c) Let him feel that he is “the hunter”
Lastly, give him the opportunity to feel that he is the one who is seducing you. May it cost you a little work! You deploy the heavy weapons of your enchantment, but let him take the initiative.
If you are dealing with a particularly shy boy, you can make an exception and take the initiative yourself. But it is recommended that you make an effort so that he feels comfortable and safe to take it.
d) Exchange information assertively
Flirtation has a lot to do with showing our strengths to the other, but it actually has more to do with making the other feel appreciated and recognized. Steer the conversation into topics that he is happy to do, and at the same time be a bit reserved with the information you give about yourself.
Thus, in his head, he will begin to associate you with positive moments for his self-esteem, but you will also become a kind of mystery that attracts him a lot of attention.
5. Focus on improving your talents to be more attractive to men
As we mentioned above, if instead of putting your energy into finding a boyfriend you focus on doing good things for you, the boyfriend will arrive alone, since you will be more attractive and interesting in the eyes of others.
What are your strengths? Maybe you have a great talent for a sport or an artistic discipline. Maybe your thing is to be an adventure explorer, an exotic traveler, an insatiable reader, a cult film guru, and so on.
That which makes you unique is what is going to make the perfect boy for you feel attracted like flies to honey. So now you know, that about the boyfriend can wait, you come first. When you least realize it, you’ll have a vast list of suitors to choose from.
Are you really putting the time and energy into nurturing your unique talents? Be honest with yourself and make the necessary changes to cultivate your personal flourishing.
6. Be your best version (that includes grooming yourself better)
Make a small list of the things that make you the great person you are and make another where you locate the points of opportunity for improvement in your character or personality.
Remember that the worst mistake a human being can make is to stop evolving, so get to work!
Get out of your comfort zone and take risks. Remember that life was made to experiment, grow and, above all, be happy. Observing your personal growth will fill you with satisfaction. Take every opportunity you have and don’t stop trying.
Show the whole world your independence. All men fear losing their freedom and this leads them to avoid a relationship. If you show that you are mentally and physically independent, that you have priorities and life, many guys will automatically be attracted to you. Female independence is a kind of male magnet.
If you want to find a partner, then you have to let yourself know, give yourself the opportunity to love again. Remember that if we don’t help each other, no one else will.
7. Take care of what you post on social networks
Today social networks are a reflection of many aspects of our real life. Or at least that’s how the people who see your posts interpret it.
Maybe you are used to using them to do catharsis when you have a bad day or expose things from your private life, but this can send the wrong message to others and make you look like a troublesome and unstable girl.
If you want a steady partner and a beautiful relationship, you need to project kind things on social networks. Not that you have to censor yourself, but avoid:
- Speak badly of other people.
- Send aggressive or depressive hints.
- Talk about your ex’s.
- Being rude or cruel.
- Post thousands of selfies .
Better publish everything that is beautiful and interesting in your life. You can upload a photo of your last taekwondo class, of that delicious dish you just made, or of you and your friends when you go out to have fun.
What you want to say to the world is “I am a focused, fun woman who has many positive things to contribute.” In this way, it is very likely that many guys will start looking for you in this way and want to know you more thoroughly.
8. Travel to meet other types of boys in a different environment
Few things are as enriching and fill us with as many new experiences as traveling. You don’t need to have a big budget, but rather dare to go on an adventure with a backpack and part of your savings.
People who travel, especially women, are much more likely to flirt and find a partner for several reasons, including foreigners attract attention everywhere. The further you travel, the more exotic you will appear to guys and the more they will want to get closer to you. There are few cases of happy intercultural couples who met on a trip.
But if you don’t feel ready to fall in love with a Norwegian and marry him, traveling will still help you find a boyfriend in your country, because the trip will have made you a much more interesting person and with more world.
Make knowing other places on your priority list and many aspects of your emotional and sentimental life will improve.
9. Organize double dates with your friends
Does your friend’s boyfriend have a handsome or interesting friend? So, ask him to go on a double date. These types of activities are very useful to expand your social circle and meet people with similar interests.
Also, if things don’t work out or there is no chemistry, nothing happens! It’s really not like spending an afternoon on a date that goes wrong is going to get you out of the game. Just get another double date somewhere else.
Remember: finding the love of your life doesn’t happen overnight. You will probably have to live with several guys before you find the right one. This happens with all of them, so do not despair, much less feel bad.
10. Love yourself and get out of your comfort zone
Do you want a person who encourages you, tells you how wonderful you are, gives you motivation, affection, and pampering? Then you already have it. Look in the mirror and you will find it.
Love begins from us to us. If you don’t love yourself, no matter how many courtships you get, they won’t be relationships that really fill you up, complement you, or make you happier.
On the contrary, if you really love yourself and take care of yourself, you will be very happy whether or not you have a boyfriend. Although there will surely be several candidates eager to have a relationship with you.
Love yourself seriously; not just from the teeth out. Forget all those reproaches you do to yourself and start giving yourself the well-being you deserve with a lifestyle in which your priority is not to get a boyfriend but to be good with you.