There are many signs (verbal and non-verbal) that a man shows when he is very much in love with a woman.
Some are clear and some are harder to see, but one, in particular, stands out from all the others – the way he looks at you.
Regardless of how long you’ve been together, or if there’s a guy you think is in love with you but hasn’t talked to you yet, in this article we’re going to show you all about how to tell if he loves you by the look of his eyes.
But before we get into the interesting details, let’s look at some background information.
What happens when we make eye contact and how does that lead to love?
What is the science behind eye contact and love?
Not long ago I read an article in the New York Times about a woman and man who fell in love after staging a study formed by Dr. Aron, a psychologist who basically formed love between two people in his lab.
If you’re thinking, “What, how is this possible?” don’t be worried, I thought the same thing.
But stay here with me…
Dr. Aron wanted to find out if two people could fall in love and have relationships in a short amount of time. He had strangers ask each other a series of questions (36 to be exact) and with each question, the conversation grew more intimate and intense.
In the end, each “couple” in the experiment ended up looking into each other’s eyes for exactly four minutes.
Two participants were married six months later. Others, like the couple I spoke to in the New York Times, did a similar version of the experiment and fell in love, too.
And if that wasn’t impressive enough…
Other similar studies showed that feelings of infatuation and love became predominant after just two minutes of looking between the two.
So what is the link between eye contact and love?
Psychologist Linda Jackson explains that:
“Maintaining eye contact creates a state of calm and connectedness that, after 30 to 60 seconds, activates oxytocin.”
This explains a lot – oxytocin, along with dopamine, are called “love hormones”, because they happen during physical intimacy, and help us form trusting relationships.
Another amazing study found that when these “love hormones” are released, it causes our pupils to dilate – it makes us seem more approachable and trustworthy, and increases our attractiveness to him.
So what does this tell us?
Well, every time he looks deeply into your eyes, he’s not just admiring their color. Much more is happening on the surface and it is these natural chemical reactions that can make us fall in love, or even increase the love we already have.
Zick Rubin, a Harvard psychologist, found that couples who remained in love, even after years together, maintained eye contact 75% of the time when they spoke (an excellent amount, more than the average 30-60% of the time).
Now that we know the facts – there is no doubt that eye contact and the way we look at people we like are linked to the love and affection we feel.
So how does a man look at a woman he loves?
Let’s get straight to these telltale signs:
You know he loves you by the look if…
1) He looks at you while talking
When a man loves you, he can’t help but look you in the eye when he talks to you.
Gone is the nervousness that could have made him look away before, now he’s comfortable with you and you’ll see that through eye contact.
Regardless of what he’s doing, even if the most exciting match of his life is on TV, if you ask him a question, he’ll avert his eyes enough to look at you when he answers.
This shows that he not only loves her but also respects her.
We usually associate the two – someone who can’t look us in the eye or even lift their eyes when we speak is considered rude and gives the impression that they’re not interested in us or what we have to say.
So if he always looks you in the eye, even when he’s busy or distracted, consider yourself lucky to have a man who definitely respects you and cares about you.
2) He maintains prolonged eye contact
As we’ve talked about, maintaining eye contact for a while has the power to make people fall in love and keep that love moving.
So it’s only natural that when he looks into your eyes for several minutes, he’s strengthening the love you share (by instinct, not choice).
Here’s the thing:
When a guy looks into your eyes, there are a lot of thoughts running through his mind, but he doesn’t always know he’s doing it.
Humans are naturally drawn to looking at things we find visually appealing and at people we love and care for, which explains why he can’t take his eyes off you.
Instincts drive human behavior, especially for men, when it comes to relationships.
3) He smiles when he looks at you
If your man smiles at you when you look at him, it means one thing – you make him happy!
That feeling of being on cloud nine never goes away when he’s with you, which is why he can’t stop smiling.
You can be in the kitchen or lying in bed reading a book and he will still find reasons to smile when he sees you. This kind of love is beautiful and it’s clear he feels a lot of comfort and happiness to be around you. And it’s natural to smile more when we’re in love.
Remember those “love hormones” we talked about earlier?
When you smile, dopamine is released, along with serotonin. Now, serotonin acts like a mild antidepressant, while the rest of the endorphins are released to fight stress and make you feel good.
So there’s no mystery behind why he smiles when he looks at you – he’s in love and it makes him feel good (not to mention the positive effect it has on you too).
4) He looks at you when you’re not looking
When a man looks at a woman he loves, he’s going to do it, whether he realizes it or not.
We often think that this only happens in the early stages of dating. You’re on your first date and his eyes follow you as you walk to the ladies’ room. It may be that this is out of attraction and at first, it is.
But what happens when you’ve been together for a while and he still finds some reason to look up to you?
He is simply enjoying what he has.
His feelings are strong, he knows there’s something good going on, and just seeing you makes him stop to remember how lucky he is, how lucky you two are to have each other.
5) He notices the details of your face and body
Many women joke about the fact that men aren’t very observant when it comes to details.
I’ve spent my entire life surrounded by relatives and friends (men) who never noticed that new haircut, piercing, a new piece of clothing, new phone, whatever.
It’s not that they didn’t care, they just weren’t paying attention. These changes didn’t draw attention and that’s okay.
But a man in love will notice these things.
Because he’s not just looking at you, he’s studying you. He’s taking in everything about you, from the tiny mole on your back to the way your eyes crinkle when you smile.
So when you make the slightest change, he’ll see it right away.
6) He looks at you with compassion when you’re feeling down
Sometimes a look can speak louder than words.
Have you ever had a rough day, and I mean the kind of rough day where all you want to do is get under the comforter and cry? Unfortunately, we all have them from time to time.
But have you ever seen someone take a look at you, understand the pain you’re going through, and the body language, the touch, and the expressions on their face of affection, all to comfort you?
Well, that happens early in our lives with our parents. A mother sees her child fall and within a minute she wraps and snuggles him back to happiness. There is a lot of eye contact and physical touch.
A father comforting his daughter after the first heartbreak, even without words, can make her feel safe and calm. If he doesn’t look her in the eye and tell her everything is going to be okay, she probably won’t believe him.
The same happens when you are in love.
You may notice that he looks at you with concern when you are sad or sick, his eyes reflecting the care and sympathy he feels for you. He will look at you often to see if you are okay.
Recently my grandmother (sister-in-law) spent a few weeks in the hospital – it was really hard for a while and naturally everyone was worried.
Fortunately, she recovered and, returning home, Grandpa was in full swing. Taking care of your every need, by your side day and night. And the one thing he never did was take his eyes off her.
You can tell it’s out of fear, worry, or worry because of her fear of health, and part of that is, but there’s also an intense look of deep, unconditional love that he’s reserved just for her.
7) He looks at you differently than other people
Among couples in love, there are certain “looks” reserved for each other, which convey hidden messages.
You know the type when the annoying neighbor shows up and gives you that look across the room. You know instantly what he’s thinking and he’s read your answer with just your eyes.
Or when your crazy aunt is sharing her latest conspiracy theory and the two of you share a look while holding back laughter.
Where would we be without these silent forms of communication? They certainly make it easier to survive in certain situations.
The truth is:
Over time, you will have developed non-verbal cues for communication. It will definitely happen, especially when you live with someone and get to know them inside out.
Not only does this allow you to say the things the two of you are thinking about without anyone noticing, but it also evokes feelings of well-being. You have this secret method of communication that shows that you know and understand each other well.
8) He doesn’t stop admiring you, even when you seem to be at your worst.
Another sign of love is when he can’t take his eyes off you, even when you look awful. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been vomiting with morning sickness for hours or if you’ve had adult acne.
A man in love looks through all these layers to the person in front of him, who he loves regardless of how he looks.
After all, isn’t that what love is all about?
If it was just based on attraction, many people wouldn’t stay in love for very long.
So if he looks at you with affection, even when you’re at your worst, it’ll be clear that he loves you deeply and doesn’t care if you look good or not.
Now, you’ll know for sure how much he loves you if he looks at you that way. The above signs are all those you can watch out for.
But, it’s also important to note other non-verbal cues that also give away your love and affection…
When we put together the facts, psychology, and science behind eye contact and love, it is clear that there is a connection.
It’s like this isn’t interesting enough.
When we add in all the things that can’t be explained, the subtle signals we give with just one look, butterflies in our stomachs, and how one look can keep us repeating in our minds, it all shows that so much love and emotion can be conveyed.
All of this is great news for you if your partner has some of the above traits.
From eye contact to body language, there are many clues to how he feels about you.
So, regardless of whether you are a romantic who shows your love on a daily basis or are more reserved with your affection, the way he looks at you will reveal what he really feels all the time. Just be sure to look for those subtle signs.