Learning to be alone will open up a world of possibilities for you, as it will allow you to be in control of your life without having to be around people all the time so that you don’t feel empty.
After a long time in which I felt tremendous anguish every time I was alone, I learned to deal with loneliness without feeling the pressure that made me angry.
Being alone has helped me not only to enjoy my own company, but also to clear certain beliefs from my mind that conditioned my behavior.
On more than one occasion I have felt just as lonely even when I was around people. And, I must admit, the same thing happened to me in my relationship as a couple.
To be alone is not to be marginalized
Often times we confuse loneliness with marginalization and isolation. In fact, we can feel this because the people around us remind us of it every moment.
It happened to me, especially when I came to terms with my loneliness. When I was feeling good on my own and enjoying myself, around me, I started hearing phrases like ” You are asocial “.
However, being alone is not at odds with being sociable. I see myself as a person who loves to make new friends, meet different people, and interact with others.
However, I know how to take advantage of my moments of solitude. I don’t force myself to see my friends if I don’t want to, just because I haven’t seen them for a long time.
Sometimes before I felt good with myself I felt tremendous pressure when there was an event and I didn’t feel like going. In my mind, there was a conflict: what I really wanted and what to do.
The most telling thing was realizing that being around people didn’t make me feel fulfilled. I felt empty. I understand now that it was because I had not given myself the chance to be with myself.
The pressures of society
We are not always aware of it, but society constantly puts pressure on us. Not only the people around us do it, but the customs, the advertising, the movies….
Having a partner and children seems like a goal. Although many people do not follow, it remains the established model. And what to say about friends! It’s hard to let them go when you change and no longer have anything in common with them.
We generally believe, and I did too, that relationships should be lasting. And that we have to keep them because the fact that they end means the end of our social life.
However, we know that we can make new friends. We can also meet a new partner. We are not limited to this. However, we continue to believe it.
It is still difficult for us to internalize the sentence according to which ” an end can be a new beginning “. However, we have always been taught to stay attached, even if what we are attached to does not fill us, and even sometimes hurts us.
Continue in another direction
When you start to walk in another direction, to question your beliefs, to stop doing what you once felt obligated to do, it all comes with difficulty.
It is not easy to become different. However, if that scares you, think about everything that has happened between what has been established and what has been successful.
Models now don’t have to be so skinny. There are even models with Down’s syndrome or with a certain peculiarity of skin.
These are only examples that can help us not to follow the same path as others. Because being yourself and betting on yourself is much more precious.
- When I understood my fear of being alone, I also understood that I had very low self-esteem. Asking for approval from others, feeling responsible for what others are feeling, fear of being rejected …
Getting to know each other better
It all stuck behind me from the moment I got to know myself better. To be alone and to realize that I didn’t need anyone. Because it’s not the same as having to or choosing to do something.
I can choose to go out or meet my friends. I can choose to attend a certain event, but I don’t have to anymore so as not to feel alone.
Have you ever felt like this? Do you avoid being alone?
Have you ever been able to feel good about yourself? So you know how much it helps you have much healthier relationships and act on how you feel. And not what you think you have to do.