What is tiring in love is not to give, but to be disappointed
Disappointment is something that lasts over time.
In addition to exhausting it also ends up suffocating us from the inside and destroying our dreams.
It is not tiring to give sincere tenderness to someone who does not recognize effort and detail.
It is not tiring to give love. What weighs down morale are the voids and disappointments felt in these relationships.
It is all well and good to say that we must “give love without counting”, but still it would be necessary to be more precise with certain details.
Giving maximum love to those around us is good, but you have to be aware that it has limits, depending on the reactions of other people.
Some people think it is okay to receive favors, kindness, attention, flattery, and tenderness.
But often these people forget that a relationship is a continuous exchange where one gives oneself and where one offers equitably.
Unconditional love is, of course, something really respectable.
To give an example, this is how you feel about your children. It is an impassable pillar that we support and that we enhance.
Now “unconditionality” itself is dangerous ground for many people.
However, that cannot always justify continuing to give love, affection, and respect all the time when we are not receiving it ourselves.
Often times we experience contempt and betrayal, and it is this usual aspect of emotional relationships that we want to cover in this post.
Being disappointed is tiring and slowly extinguishes love
Disappointment wears us out and makes us aware of things. However, until that moment arrives, we go through several complex and emotionally difficult phases that make us wonder about many things.
It is important to clarify that a disappointment is not necessarily the first step towards breaking up.
Sometimes disappointment allows us to look at things with greater realism in order to undertake more serious and mature changes.
Let’s look at this in more detail.
When love is blind and disappointment helps us open our eyes
When we are young when we are in romantic relationships , we idealize the other to such an extent that we do not see any flaws in him and we put him on a pedestal with a lot of excess.
- Everyday life gradually shows us that there is no perfection, and that it is neither good nor bad. Seeing reality in the face is a suitable – and necessary – way to better face a relationship.
- Our spouse, like us, is not perfect, let alone infallible. We make mistakes, we all have quirks, and many faults.
- These first disappointments should open our eyes to realize that for the relationship to prosper, everyone must invest equally.
Faults are corrected, mistakes are used to learn and faults harmonize with those of the other.
I’m worn out and tired from so many disappointments
When the heart is too worn out and tired in the face of so many endured disappointments, it either turns off or it accepts this situation and surrenders.
- We should never fall into those situations in which we accept and tolerate disappointments so much that we think this is all “normal”.
- It does not matter whether these relationships are between partners, relatives, or children. If there is no respect and there is a willingness to do harm for no reason, this is the time to react firmly.
It’s better to know how to do it from the first disappointment. Once we are aware of a reality, we must know how to face and explain that we have been hurt and that is not how we build a relationship.
If something is bothering you, give it a name and speak it. If something disappoints you, demonstrate it and implement strategies so that it doesn’t happen again.