Whether you have been in a relationship for several years or a few weeks, here is a danger that could put your relationship to a severe test if you are not careful.
Haunting, Cushioning, Tindstagramming … In recent months, the appearance of anglicisms to designate “amorous tendencies” is legion. And if some are honorable (like breezing, an anti-headache seduction technique ), we would gladly do without many of them. This is the case of the most recent: “micro-cheating”. As the name suggests, this trend directly refers to unfaithful behavior(“cheating” meaning to deceive in English). So far, nothing new under the sun, you tell us. But the “microphone” is important. So how can you “slightly” cheat your partner? According to experts, the phenomenon of “micro-cheating” is defined by the fact of flirting with someone behind the back of his partner, even if this flirtation does not involve any physical contact. But far from being harmless, “micro-cheating” can destroy the most stable of relationships, experts warn.
Of course, seducing is an integral part of human nature. So don’t bother putting yourself in the hammer at the start: it’s not because you go out one evening without a gentleman and you smile at the guy who kindly held the door for you or that you chat for 5 minutes with a guy at a party that you are cheating on your partner (in thought). For the expert in amorous relationships Melanie Schilling, urged by the Australian version of ” Huffington Post,” the micro-cheating is a series of small actions that indicate that a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone else, outside of his relationship. ”
“Better to ask yourself why we are doing this”
Among the unmistakable signs, Melanie Schilling cites texting someone else in secret, saving someone’s number on their phone under a false name or pretending that someone is single when this is not the case. However, tempers the expert, it also happens that the one who practices the “micro-cheater” does not realize that he could hurt someone else. But if this habit becomes a secret in the long term, your behavior may reflect a flaw in your commitment to your partner. “If you hide something from your partner, it is better to ask why you are doing this,” warns the specialist.
What are the reasons that could explain such behavior? According to Mélanie Schilling, this may be due to habits from your previous relationships. If your ex didn’t mind if you act like this, maybe you perpetuate the same gestures in your new relationship, especially if your other half doesn’t comment on it or don’t realize it. Either way, it is probably wiser to make sense of things and ask yourself if your partner might be affected by your attitude. Besides, if you really care about your relationship it would be a shame to spoil everything because of some good old (and potentially bad) habits, don’t you think?
What to do if you are a victim of “micro-cheating?”
If you are a victim of this phenomenon, Melanie Shilling offers some advice. For the expert, the first thing to do is to try to understand why your partner is doing this. In other words, take a step back and play down: in some situations, it will suffice to simply point out to the person concerned that you dislike this attitude so that it stops immediately. Because, as explained above, the latter may not be fully aware of the damage it can cause.
“If this is an unconscious habit that your partner has developed over time, then you have the right to define new limits,” explains the expert in romantic relationships. If, on the other hand, the person does not take your grievances into account, the situation can get worse and you risk coming out frustrated. “If you are being honest with your partner but your partner does not change their attitude, it may be time to ask yourself if this relationship really contributes to your well-being, ” concludes Melanie Schilling.