The bumps are constantly happening and your last date was months or even years ago? Many unsuccessful single men give up the search at some point and say to themselves, “No woman wants to meet me!” But will it be so? In this article, we’ll show you how you can break out of the thinking traps and improve your chances with women in the long run.
7 possible reasons why no woman seems to want you
If you have been unsuccessful in love for years and just can’t find the right woman for a relationship, the following 7 problems could be to blame:
1. Your appearance is not attractive to women.
Of course, you don’t need perfect abs and you don’t need to look like Brad Pitt. Women still want men who look well-groomed and well-dressed. Make sure your skin is clean and your hair is combed. Even a shopping tour can’t hurt – buy clothes that really look good on you!
2. You are not doing the research correctly.
Many men have not yet started their quests and are sitting at home in front of the Playstation instead of mingling with people. Or they look wrong: for example, on sparsely frequented online dating sites and at work, where most women can have a partner for years.
So it’s important to look for lively places! You can flirt well in the club or on the street if you have the necessary courage. When shopping at the supermarket and in other everyday situations, there are also excellent opportunities to meet interesting women.
3. You talk about uninteresting topics on a date
Acting interesting is the bottom line and the bottom line if you’re looking for women for a relationship or even great love. This also includes finding an interesting topic on the date that you both love. Boring people clearly get little interest.
But how do you find a good topic? Find interesting hobbies, travel a lot, and start activities. You will experience many exciting things, so you will inevitably have exciting stories to tell.
4. You don’t have time for a girlfriend.
The other extreme: is men who are very stressed and have no place for love in their lives anymore. Many singles are so busy with work, hobbies, and family obligations that they don’t have time for a friend. If you want to have a happy relationship, you should take the time you need and save elsewhere – it doesn’t work without making sacrifices!
5. You seem unmanly to women.
We keep mentioning it on our blog, and it can’t be said often enough: women want real men as partners – not wimps. So ask yourself if you really have the masculine characteristics that are sought after in the feminine world.
6. You are desperately looking for great love.
Many men want to find their great love “no matter what” – better today than tomorrow! There is something lacking in this zeal that is unattractive to women. Better to be calm and relaxed. Don’t show your interest so exuberantly, but turn the flirting into a mystery game so she doesn’t know where you stand. Such mysterious men are extremely exciting for women!
7. You play her best friend.
Hand on heart: Have you ever expressed interest in her? Many men behave with their loved ones as if they were their best friends. But unfortunately, they are also treated like best friends. So make it clear to her, in a charming way, that you like her! If she doesn’t want a relationship, you can still be friends.
Why doesn’t a woman want me? The secret of positive thinking
Most lonely men wonder why no woman wants them and why their last relationship was so long ago. They rack their brains for years looking for answers. The cause of being alone is often “just” the inner attitude with which these permanent singles go through life.
An old saying goes that faith can move mountains. What applies to areas like work and health can also be observed over and over again in love. Self-confident men who are convinced of themselves and their abilities can hardly save themselves from women’s onslaught. Doubters, on the other hand, have much more difficulty with the opposite gender. What we are experiencing here is not witchcraft, but pure psychology. Let us explain it to you!
The pitfalls of self-fulfilling prophecies
In psychology, there is talk of so-called “self-fulfilling prophecies”. To put it somewhat simplified, this means: We all have certain opinions about ourselves, our fellow human beings, and “life” in general. In everyday life, we unconsciously behave in exactly such a way that these “predictions” come true, and then we feel confirmed in our assumptions.
Too abstract? Using the example of love and relationships, it becomes clear how our head works:
Many men are convinced: “No woman wants me”. Therefore, they gave up any attempts to meet and flirt with women. You no longer go to parties and avoid other places where it’s easy to meet a partner. And if you really meet a nice woman at the club or university every few weeks, you don’t even start flirting or you’re so shy and self-conscious that the lady politely says goodbye after a few minutes.
With men disappointed, an inner voice rises again, whispering to them: “I knew it: no woman wants me. I’m just a loser! ”These men then go through everyday life with even more resignation and insecurity, so that they come to know fewer and fewer women and think even less about themselves. A real vicious circle that your task is to break! This is the only way to increase your success in love.
Becoming a Good Friend to Yourself: A Practical Guide
For you, that has to mean: Ending negative thinking! Phrases like “No woman wants me” should be a thing of the past from now on. You see, this is not about putting on rose-colored glasses and naively going through life or even lying to yourself. Instead, the goal is to persuade yourself – just like a good friend would.
The good news: the self-fulfilling prophecy discussed above also works in reverse! If you keep saying positive things to yourself, you’ll live day to day with a lot more confidence and an open mind, and therefore, you’ll also be more successful with women. This, in turn, will further strengthen your positive belief. But how do you get on that path to success?
Thoughts like “No woman wants me” should be taboo for you in the future. Of course, you can’t turn a switch in your head and turn it off overnight. But you can train yourself to think positively so that negative beliefs are gradually replaced by positive ones.
Method 1: Autosuggestion with Affirmations
An effective method for this is auto-suggestion, founded by the French pharmacist Émile Coué. It works incredibly simple :
First of all, you should take a closer look at your thoughts about relationships, flirting, women and love. Listen carefully to yourself and find out how you think! When you flirt with women or see all the beauties in town, your inner voice will come out and say typical things to you, like:
- am ugly
- I’m not good enough for you.
- No woman wants me.
- I never find a girlfriend.
- Me too …
- I can’t …
- I never …
You write these phrases as soon as you hear them inside you. It’s best to always have a small notebook with you when you’re out and about.
Then find new thought patterns! Once you have a complete picture of your own thinking, replace those negative statements with the opposite. You take a piece of paper and write down what is known as affirmations, such as:
- I am an attractive/handsome man.
- Many women like me for exactly who I am.
- I’m getting a little braver/confident every day.
- And so on
Use only positive expressions and find your own formulations that give you personal strength. Say the phrases to yourself and feel if they give you a pleasant tingling sensation. For some people, addressing you is also helpful, as if a good friend were speaking to you: “Thomas, you are a self-assured man.”
You say the collected affirmations to yourself as often as possible every day. They should be particularly effective in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed, as our subconscious can absorb and process them very well here. A negative statement like “No woman wants me” is replaced by a positive thought after a few weeks of mental training. Try!
Method 2: Your Success Diary
Affirmations are even more effective if they not only remain a gray theory but are confirmed by practical experience in everyday life. So write down every little feeling of accomplishment, for example when women smile at you while shopping at the supermarket or give you a small compliment. Through these experiences, you provide yourself with counter-evidence that thoughts like “No woman wants me” simply have nothing to do with your reality.