Overcoming infidelity: the 5 steps to move forward

Each case is different. For women, emotional infidelity is generally viewed as more serious than physical infidelity. For men, it’s the other way around.

Many people after an infidelity wonder if they will be able to overcome this stage. The answer is very complex, because turning the page depends on many factors.

These factors are: trust, duration of infidelity, degree of false information, discovery …

The discovery of deception is a feeling that generates many negative feelings towards the other: the image that we had of our spouse deteriorates. The presence of a third person causes great disappointment.

When we lose our admiration for someone and stop trusting them, it is difficult to continue the relationship. Admiration and trust are two parameters that are difficult to restore.

However, we do not see all of these s**xual or emotional indiscretions in the same way. Certainly, the discovery of a romantic betrayal is a difficult time for all couples. And generally, this stage leads to the final rupture. But it’s not always the case.

Men and women do not view infidelity the same way. Men tend to suffer more from s**xual infidelity than from emotional infidelity. In contrast, for women, emotional infidelity is slightly more important.

We talk about emotional infidelity when one of the two members of the couple develops an important romantic connection with another person. It’s not just a friendly connection: it’s a much more intimate relationship.

This infidelity causes the person to fantasize excessively about someone else to the point of neglecting their married life. As for s**xual infidelity, it involves a carnal relationship with another person.

Either way, forgiving is a difficult act. This is why many of us prefer to break up with our spouse.

We invite you here to discover what are the five stages through which a couple goes after an infidelity.

1. Reflection and distance are essential

Discovering a betrayal in love generates a feeling of dissatisfaction and then pushes us to separation. However, in some cases, it is possible to face this situation. Much will depend on our definition of betrayal.

We can differentiate three types of infidelity: s**xual infidelity, intimate infidelity, and fantasy infidelity. Each case of infidelity has its own peculiarities, as every love story is unique, but you can find yourself in one of these types.

Women tend to view certain acts as unfaithful, while for men these acts will be harmless. The reason is this: women are more demanding in love. The need for fellowship is generally greater in women.

The context in which the romantic betrayal occurred is a key factor in determining the severity of the act, as is the duration and emotional involvement.

The exchange of feelings and a premeditated action make forgiveness difficult, and therefore the prolongation of the love bond.

Once the romantic betrayal is discovered, it is only natural for the affected person to give themselves time and space to be able to decide whether or not they want to forgive their spouse. The initial reactions remain rejection and disbelief.

2. Sincerity

Knowing the facts is an essential parameter to be able to accept the situation and forgive. It is therefore essential to be sincere when acknowledging an infidelity.

Acknowledging infidelity doesn’t mean going into detail. It only causes “free pain” and does not help restore confidence.

3. The importance of severing ties with the third person

It is essential that the unfaithful person breaks any kind of bond with the person in question. There must be no more contact

She must complete this step and focus on rebuilding trust within the couple.

4. Understanding

It is essential that the deceived person understands the why, that is, the reasons which led his spouse to be unfaithful.

This can be very informative and constructive: you can rebuild the relationship on new bases and strengthen it knowing what are the points to work on.

5. The new start

After an infidelity, it is essential to build the new foundations of trust. Both members of the couple must commit to leaving this step behind.

More concretely, this means that the one who has been unfaithful must commit to no longer making this mistake. As for the person affected by infidelity, they should strive to look ahead and not fall into accusations or blame at the slightest opportunity.

Specialists recommend seeing a specialist for possible therapy. Therapy can calm anxiety and storms within the couple and can help us understand each other better.

If the goals within the relationship are clear and there is enough love, the couple can overcome anything, even a romantic betrayal.