Your relationship is in pieces before. The love between you and your partner seems fragmented into countless painful parts and you wonder: why continue? In fact, there is usually a very specific reason for the breakup. Of course, every relationship is unique. But in many cases, the reasons for separating from the partner are very similar in their basic characteristics.
Below you will find an overview of the main reasons for separation from our study. It’s hard to believe, but the supposed reason that might come to mind first isn’t at the top of this sad list.
1. The feeling of not being loved enough
Number one among the reasons for separation for 19 percent of our study participants is the feeling that they are not loved enough. Physically, you share much more than a regular bed, couch, or the occasional overnight stay with each other. But emotionally, a vast sea of inviolability seems to stretch between you – even when you are sitting opposite each other at the same table. Being alone despite a relationship is very possible and extremely stressful for the person in question.
If your partner can’t open up to you, it’s understandable that you fear that your relationship will be threatened. Your partner is sitting next to you, but there is actually no connection.
The feeling of not being loved enough is one of the main reasons men and women separate.
Often no enlightening discussion helps, the situation and fears surrounding the question “Should I break up? ” comes up. In many cases, separation ensues. The image of the emotionally unattainable man dominates the general idea. But women can also keep their partners at arm’s length.
How you react – Relationship killer and at the same time censor you: You didn’t love him enough. First and foremost, you must go inside yourself and explore your feelings for your ex. Did you really love the person? Do you think there was still room for improvement on your emotional spectrum or was it true love for you?
If the latter option is true, you should consider whether you really communicated your feelings the way you wanted to, or whether you need to work on them in the future. If you are the part for whom the lack of love was the reason for the breakup, you should try to look ahead. Somewhere out there awaits a new life after the breakup and someone who will love you exactly the way you want.
2.” He/she cheated on me”
Loyalty is a great asset. Most couples define their relationship as monogamous and exclusive, an affair or an external relationship are taboo.
But this desire for loyalty is confronted with harsh reality in the course of many relationships. Because foreign flirtations, infidelity, or even extramarital affairs are not uncommon in long-term relationships. But how should you handle it? Cheating on your partner always means a serious loss of trust. A clear reason for the separation of men and women: a total of eleven percent of respondents confirmed cheating as the cause of our study.
Advice for cheaters: If you cheated on your partner and therefore got dumped, you should reflect on your own behavior after the relationship ends. How did this reason for separation come about? Could you have planned to break up? Or could the person you cheated on be the person you want to be with? Focus on yourself.
Victim Tip: Anyone who has been betrayed should take this advice to heart. It doesn’t help you to grieve, resent your ex-partner, or find out what’s wrong with yourself.
3. Too little in common is a reason to separate men and women
You also know the saying: opposites attract. As for physical attraction, it may be true. The partner looks interesting and exotic with their different interests. But common ground is essential for a lasting relationship. Sure, you can have your own hobbies and pursue them independently, but common ground makes life a lot easier. Over time, it often becomes clear when the lack of common ground becomes an issue and ultimately leads to the partner’s separation.
What to do? If the lack of similarities was the reason for the breakup, you should try to end up getting over your lack of love and focus on the future. So that you don’t end up in a relationship that breaks up with very different interests, you must think about what is important to you. Observe the end of your relationship and analyze what it would take to maintain it. In the future, use the appropriate mate selection criteria to take a closer look at someone next to you who matches these exact points.
4. Different ideas about the future as a reason for separation
No matter how much a couple may love each other, if the idea of a common future diverges a lot, those differences are, in many cases, a good reason for separation, and it is sometimes even better for both parties. There is one issue in particular that often divides couples: the one-sided desire to have children. If one feels ready to start a family, the other may still be a long way from that point – or never reach it. These days it is no longer uncommon for men and women to openly distance themselves from having children and support them.
If these different basic attitudes collide, it becomes difficult. Because despite genuine love and feelings, a deal would be too much of a sacrifice for either of them. So it’s no wonder that different ideas about the future are a reason for separation for every tenth interviewed in our study and lead to separation despite love.
How do you react? Of all causes, this proves to be particularly tragic for those involved. Because most of the time, partners still have feelings for each other and miss each other a lot. However, both of you should keep in mind that there was an essential reason for the breakup and that in the long run, you would have become unhappy in the relationship.
Even if you are a human, you are at completely different points in your life or have completely opposite goals. In that case, it would not be advisable for you and your partner to respond to the other’s wishes if they were incompatible with yours. In the end, feelings of guilt increase, and frustration in the relationship slowly but surely poison it. Instead, focus on the future you want and work towards achieving it.
5. Constant fights
If a couple argues frequently, it doesn’t necessarily have to lead to a relationship.
For two people to stay together, they must be held together by the thought that it is worth the effort to keep coming together. Partners should bring a similar amount of confidence and optimism to this point. The great feeling that is above the small frictions of everyday life has to say: ‘I’m sure that in five or ten years I will still be very happy to be with you’.
Constant arguments and relationship crises are reasons for separation for a total of 8% of respondents. Men seem to perceive ongoing conflict as even more unbearable: for ten percent of men, this would be a reason for separation, on the other hand, excessive arguments are a potential reason for separation for only 7% of women.
Tip: Happy couples also have relationship stress, but if there is a lot of conflicts, the partners hurt each other at some point. In particular, a bad culture of discussion within the relationship makes this point one of the main reasons for separation. If opinions constantly collide, anger boils over and swearing comes out, both of you hurt each other.
Often, the other person doesn’t have the slightest intention, but we nibble longer on the things that the partner threw us into the conflict. Try to distance yourself from him and not allow him to be influenced too much. It’s best to look analytically at your failed relationship and ask yourself what the real relationship issues were. After breaking up with your partner, try to learn for the future.
Conclusion: This is how you act when a reason for separation destroys your relationship
In short, it can be said that the reasons for the separation between men and women are not so different from each other. According to knowledge, only a few percentage points vary between the genders if you look more closely at the reasons for separation:
- The feeling of not being loved.
- The partner case.
- The lack of common ground.
- The different ideas about the future.
- The argument dominates the relationship.
But what if one of those reasons ruined your relationship?
- Don’t blame yourself and try to get over it.
- Review your broken relationship and try to learn from it in the future.
- Focus on yourself and the goals you want to achieve in life.