We have all been at the crossroads between sending or not sending a message.
You want to communicate and connect with that boy you have begun to know.
Maybe he takes things slower than you and isn’t one of those guys who write all the time. You may have felt an interest on his part but his silence bewilders you.
Anxiety might get the better of you and you wonder if it’s okay to be the one to send the first message.
But at the same time, there are doubts about what he will think when he receives it.
The truth is that throwing yourself into writing could be very risky. Some still have that instinct where they need to be the first to conquer.
But it is also true that today and fortunately relationships have evolved a lot. And writing to him could also be an opportunity to show him that he has possibilities with you. If he is interested, sending him a message could be the start of something wonderful.
We know that it is not a face-to-face meeting where the response is immediate. And the key here is knowing when the time is right and what message you want to send.
But do not despair, here we will see all the possibilities of what he could think when receiving a message from you. And later a guide to decide whether or not you should send that text.
The 5 possible things a man thinks when a woman sends him messages
1) “I love women with the initiative”
Although for some women this is counterintuitive, there are many men who appreciate a woman who is sincere and makes the first move.
After all, who doesn’t like to receive a message from someone interesting and interested?
You feel valued and desired.
So why would you be surprised that he likes getting a message from you?
He may think that you are a confident girl, who knows what she wants. And appreciate it very much.
I am always in favor of expressing what we feel, so at least we give the other the opportunity to open up as well.
But you should always be careful not to overdo it anyway. Remember that there are men who are intimidated by very determined women.
Get a little closer, but then take a step back. This way you will give him the opportunity to go after you if he is really interested.
2) “At last he has written to me”
Another reaction that you might not have expected is that he is glad to receive a message from you because, in fact, he has been waiting for it.
Maybe he didn’t want to seem too pushy and left a space to see if you wrote to him.
He might think that showing too much interest on his part will cause your attraction to him to lessen.
Then when you’ve finally done it he’ll be so glad to hear from you.
This is especially likely if it’s a shy or insecure guy, he may need a little more from you first before he moves on.
Also, if you write to him first, you will help him lose the fear of being rejected.
So if he responds quickly and is excited to read you, you know he was waiting for your message.
It is also possible that he will rush to ask you out, so as not to miss his chance.
3) “What a surprise, this girl is different from the others”
This guy might think, upon receiving a text from you, that it’s a modern and refreshing way to interact with a girl.
Men are used to being the ones who go after the girl. So that you write to him first can be pleasant and novel.
This action could make him feel special and important and he will love this gesture from you.
He might also think that you are a girl without much drama, and that going out with you could be something simple and spontaneous.
4) “Another one that fell into my nets”
We are here to see all the possibilities, and this is one of them.
There are some guys who just enjoy seducing as many girls as they can.
So if you write to him, he will simply reaffirm his vision of himself as a great conqueror.
If it is a particularly attractive boy, he may not bother to write to you, because the truth is that he has many options.
Then he waits to choose the girl he finds most interesting. This type of guy is the one you want to keep away.
You should be aware of these red alerts:
- takes too long to reply
- He never starts the conversation
- disappears without explanation
- he doesn’t really show any sincere interest in you
5) “This girl is looking for a boyfriend”
And as much as you haven’t even thought about the possibility of this guy being your boyfriend, some men just have this prejudice etched in their minds.
Some guys are so scared of commitment that they think that’s what all women want. Or maybe you’re going through a difficult time emotionally and can’t even think about connecting with someone.
So if that’s the case with your boy, he’ll just walk out in a panic. He will think that (although you don’t know him) you have become obsessed with him.
It’s clear that this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own unresolved issues.
Anyway, if he gets scared away by a simple message, it’s better for you to keep running.
A self-confident and emotionally mature man will be glad that a beautiful girl like you writes to him.
And you will know that you need to get to know each other first, to know if there can be something more between you.
Should you write to him or not?
We return to our original question of whether or not it’s a good idea to send him a message.
Here are the considerations you should take to do it or not, and feel confident that it is the right thing to do.
1) Reflect on what you are really looking for with this message
It is always a good idea to think about why we do or say something.
It is important to first be clear about what you are looking for, to know if it is a good idea to write to him and then evaluate how to move forward.
If you think that later on, you won’t want to have this person around, maybe you should think twice before hitting the send button.
2) Have you already dated this guy?
Another important point to consider is the context in which you will be writing.
If you’ve already dated and you feel like things are on the right track, it might definitely be a good idea to write to her.
You could mention something you discussed on your way out.
Maybe you’re walking down the street and you see something that reminds you of something he said. Could you send him a picture and say: Because this reminded me of you?
3) Do you want to ask him out?
I think we’ve already covered this.
If you like this guy and you think there is a mutual interest, just do it!
Simple texts, short and the main thing. Let them go straight to the point. In the end, what you want is for him to know that you are interested.
Don’t complicate yourself thinking for hours about the “perfect” message. The important thing is to take the step to start the exchange.
Now, as we already mentioned, there’s a chance he’s not interested, and that’s fine.
It will be a few days that you feel a little strange, but then you will be ready to move on. And more prepared.
Take it as a game and an opportunity to learn about the world of conquest.
You have a new chance to meet someone wonderful next time.
4) You have already written to him before
If you have already tried to write to him before without success, you should read the message between the lines: he is not really interested in you.
Put the phone aside for a while. Forget this guy because he doesn’t suit you.
Unless you’ve been chatting back and forth for days, believe me, you don’t want to chase him with messages.
A guy who likes you will take the time to answer you. And he won’t let weeks go by without sending you a message.
Also, it’s not a good idea to always be the one to start the conversation. He will think you are too available and he will quickly lose interest.
5) He has written to you and is waiting for an answer
If you are wondering in this case whether you should reply to their messages or not. This is completely up to you.
Ask yourself if you are interested in this guy and why are you interested.
My philosophy is to treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.
So I think honesty is a good starting point.
If you are not interested, you can tell him that you liked meeting him but that you have not felt that connection that you are looking for. You can propose to be friends if it is something you would like.
And if you like this boy just follow the game to see where they go.
6) You are in a difficult moment of your life
If this boy has expressly mentioned to you that he is in a difficult situation, either because he is ending a relationship or because of something personal, it is best that you give him space.
Sometimes it’s not about whether there is attraction or not. But the timing is not ideal.
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do.
If he is dealing with difficult things in his life and has told you so, just don’t overwhelm him with messages.
Let him solve his things and if he still thinks of you later, he will write to you.
If you don’t it just didn’t have to be.
7) It’s about your ex
Here is a completely different chapter.
In this case, you should have a clear goal in mind for which you will write to an ex.
You may find yourself in a vulnerable moment or you may simply miss him. You may be wondering if it was the right decision to separate.
But, the truth is that there was a reason why they decided to separate. Then you should seriously think about where you want to go with a message.
And also reflect on the impact your actions could have on him.
8) You fought with him
It could well be your partner or a guy you went out with a few times and he didn’t act as you expected.
Many times the heat of anger makes us react in a way that we later regret.
Take some time to clarify your ideas before sending a message.
And if you already did and you feel that you were wrong, a sincere apology will always be well received. Speaking from the heart helps to bring people closer. Do not be afraid to show yourself vulnerable, you give the other room to do the same.
Final Thoughts: Do men like it when women make the frist step?
In short, as a general rule, a man will be happy to hear from you. Especially if you are just starting out, he will take it as a sign of interest, attraction, and desire.
The truth is that you have to have courage when it comes to showing your interest and be prepared for whatever comes as an answer.
Then, many things could happen, from everything flowing and asking you out, a refusal, or even what I consider worse emptiness.
It is important that you know that any of these possibilities are real, but that they have nothing to do with you. Learning lies in making a decision and accepting whatever the outcome.
Pay attention to how he responds so you know which way of communicating he likes the most.
And remember that it is not a good idea to always be the one who writes first. Let him take the initiative too. This way he can show you his interest and there will be a stimulating exchange for both of you.
If you don’t get a response to your messages or if you feel that he isn’t really interested in further communication, just stop writing to him. There’s no point in going after someone who doesn’t respond.
Believe me, if he is interested, he will do what is necessary to communicate and see you.