What if the longevity of a love story was only one word? It is in any case the opinion of psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein who delivered the magic word in a column published on “Psychology Today”.
“I would like I would love…”. This replica taken from the movie “Unpriced” and supposed to allow Jean (interpreted by Gad Elmaleh) to get everything he wants could well be for real the miracle formula which all couples should use (and abuse) to hope to write their story over time . It is of course not a question of using it to be offered a jewel (albeit) but of using it on a daily basis to transmit all our messages – and in particular the less sympathetic – to our lover. This is the discovery made by Jeffrey Bernstein, American psychologist specializing in couple relationships at the site of Psychology Today . According to him, our romantic relationship would depend on: use “I would like” instead of “you should”. In doing so, our couple communication would be fluid and more serene.
And for good reason, the ” you should” may well be balanced on an innocent air, it does not prevent it is an injunction, almost a moralizing reproach that we make to the other and which, in the long run, could very well point it. However, we can very easily convey the same message but in a positive way by preferring the “I would like” or “I would like”. We go from “order” to “wish” and the other immediately wants to do it without having the impression of having been forced to do so.
So, it would be better to prefer the “I would like you to remember that I don’t like vanilla” to “You should still know that I have hated this, since time!”. Ditto for “You should go to the hairdresser” which suggests to the other that you find him neglected and that, in addition, you govern all his actions and gestures … While a “I would like you to make haircuts “just proves that you find him beautiful and that you take care of him . You can also try it with the famous “I would like you to take down the trash”, you never know, it can work too.