Has it happened to you that when you are at the peak of your relationship your boy begins to move away? If you are reading this article it is because it has surely happened to you or you are going through a similar situation.
In this article I will show you the most common reasons why a man leaves when he falls in love and what to do in this situation, since in most cases YOUR attitude is key to the future of the relationship.
First you must be sure that your boy is really moving away, on many occasions we tend to exaggerate the situation and begin to create a series of mental stories without any basis.
Make sure that your boy does not find himself with an additional workload, he has just started a new project or if he is going through a family problem, if only 2 days have passed without him calling, writing or visiting you, stay relaxed, surely there is nothing to worry about.
On the contrary, if more than a week has passed and you know absolutely nothing about him, it is time to take action on the matter, and find out what happened to your boy.
This situation usually occurs when the relationship is going “smooth sailing” that is, when you have already opened your heart, stripped your mind and even your body with it.
At the same time you perceive that he has more confidence in you, he looks at you in a special way, both of them let their guard down and begin to believe that they are for each other.
That’s when he just disappears, and you obviously panic, not knowing why or what to do.
Why do men walk away when they are falling in love?
The reasons can be infinite and describing each one would be crazy since each relationship is different, however there are common factors that generalize the reasons that cause distancing in men:
- Afraid of losing their freedom
- Afraid of commitment
- He thinks that he is not cut out for marriage and fears that their relationship soon needs to be formalized
- You feel like they’re going too fast and need to put the parking brake on right away
- You think you need a break from your relationship, from the intensity of your emotions
All these reasons are completely understandable, and in none of them you have anything to do, it is a personal matter, a matter that he alone must fix since there is nothing you can help him with.
what do in this situation?
You might think that the points on the list are different from each other, however they have a common thread, and it is the fear that he shows towards their relationship.
The only thing you can do in this case is to do nothing , even if it seems crazy to you, it is the right thing to do.
Let him go if it is really what he wants to do, give him back the freedom that he feels he lost, as a good man he likes to feel that he has the situation under control, but when he falls in love everything changes and many fears enter him.
eye! Giving him his space does not mean that you take an attitude of revenge, that is; If he writes or calls you on Wednesday, you won’t answer him until Saturday, since you could turn the situation into a kind of game where the one who ignores the other the most wins.
Answer him normally, without reproaches or complaints. You don’t have to answer the first ring of his call, let him ring a few times and let him know that you have things to do regardless of talking to him.
Remember how your relationship was at the beginning. Do you remember how you had a social life? You went out with your friends, you went to the movies, the theater or the club, you went shopping, you attended dance or painting classes, your priorities were different, and that is the girl in whom he became interested.
Show him that you are independent, happy and that deep down you are still that same girl he fell in love with in the beginning.
Doing nothing is undoubtedly your best action, the probability that he will return in a short time and on his own foot is very high, however in this time of absence you should take the opportunity to make a real change within yourself.
Analyze what attitudes of yours caused him to feel that he was losing his freedom, identify them and change these details, because otherwise when he returns in a few days he will realize that you are still the same woman he left days ago.
Let him go out with his friends again, give each other a weekend off and see how for the following weekend he will not bear the urge to see you and everything will be as at the beginning.
What is forbidden to do in this situation?
If he stays distant, the worst thing you can do is start chasing him, calling him, writing him all the time, trying to find out what happened, if he is okay and you call non-stop with the justification that you “just” want to know if he is he finds himself safe, if an alien spaceship did not hijack him or if his dog did not devour him.
Peaceful! He is safe, remember that bad news flies, you would have already found out if he was not well.
It is typical that your mind begins to cloud with ideas that are of very little use such as: “If I don’t call you and someone else takes the opportunity and tries to link you?”
It is clear that there is the possibility that in this time of absence he begins to meet someone else, but there is also the possibility that someone else tries to link you to you, and that is something that he does not care or at least decided to take the risk. and still he walked away.
Give him his space, respect his decision, if you live chasing him with that insecurity, panic and fear that floods your mind you are only going to make things worse, there is nothing more terrifying for a man than the fact of feeling harassed.
The three worst mistakes:
Try not to commit them please, because if you do, instead of bringing him closer to you, you will drive them further away.
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Compassion:
Cause a feeling of pity in him, tell him how bad, sad devastated that makes you feel the fact that he is no longer as close as before, if he is a good man, he will immediately return to you and try to make things the same as days ago .
However this will work only once, because when you have an argument or just time passes he will realize that he is only with you out of compassion and no one chooses a partner out of charity.
Sooner or later he will leave again and their relationship will be fractured forever.
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Culpability:
If you start judging him and declaring that he is the only culprit that your relationship is in a probable crisis, without admitting your mistakes, you could make him feel bad and thereby cause him to return to your side.
Obviously if you do this the pleasure will last very little, your man will feel manipulated by you, he will feel that he is not with you by choice but only because of how bad you made him feel by his actions.
He will end up leaving just like the failed strategy of compassion.
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Blackmail, aggressiveness:
The classic mistake of trying to retain a man by threatening to take away something that he really loves, for example if they have children, you blackmail him with the fact that you will allow him to see it.
He could agree to be with you for a few days or even a few more months, however here you not only affect your relationship, but also your children.
Think twice before doing them, do not allow anger or sadness to make you do or say things that you may regret tomorrow.
None of these strategies will work for you, you will only make him feel happy to have left, he will stop seeing you as the ideal woman and he will see you only as the girl who tried to manipulate him and could not.
Although it is not your intention to manipulate him, it is the way in which he interprets your tireless fight to stay with him.
Remember that there are no tricks or secret potions to hold a man against his will, do not lose your dignity in the name of love, do not trample on your self-esteem causing him pain or begging him to stay.
The only thing that will keep a man by your side is to be yourself, free and without fear of losing him.
A man can walk away for many reasons, but if you give your guy the freedom he needs and show him how independent you are, very few things can take him away from you.
Give him the confidence so that he tells you when something in the relationship bothers him, show him that you are willing to renew and improve as a person, as long as the changes are positive and ensure that this feeling is reciprocal and he has the willingness to improve as a couple .
