If dialogue and communication are the pillars of a happy relationship, there is a phrase that can make you the best partner there is. You just have to know it … and use it.
One of the essential ingredients to keep the couple strong is to form a team. This includes supporting the other if necessary, and vice versa. And precisely, according to the Glamour.com site, ask your lover “how can I be of service to you?” can help your partner in a lot of situations and make your relationship grow. Indeed, according to psychologist Mark Reinecke, head of department at Northwestern Memorial Hospital from Chicago: “People feel they need help when their usual ways of dealing with a problem no longer work.” They then feel “overwhelmed, depressed and helpless”. This question asked of the other reminds him that he is not alone, that you are there to help him, to give him your support.
Show the other that we are there for him
Doctor Jocelyn Charnas, a psychologist in a private New York clinic adds that the effect produced by the question will depend on the way it was asked. So say to the other, “Can I help you?” will imply a closed response: “yes” or “no”. While a “How can I help you” will open up a dialogue.
And “this does not mean that you know how to solve the problem, you just inform him that you want to understand,” says the psychologist. In truth, you are simply making him hear that your ear is there, available if he wants to chat, to empty his bag. And by doing so, you can help him see more clearly, feel better, without even needing to drown him with your good advice.
When to release this magic sentence?
According to Doctor Charnas, one can use this magic formula within a couple whenever one feels that one’s other half needs comfort or love. Besides, as psychologist Mark Reinecke adds, this sentence is not limited to lovers, it is also welcome in our friendly relationships: “Any situation in which a person feels overwhelmed means that it is the right time to use it.”